Mitski - A Pearl (Official Video)

"A Pearl" from the album Be the Cowboy by Mitski.

Listen to Be the Cowboy:

The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We out now.

Credits:
Made at Art Camp.
Directed by Saad Moosajee and Art Camp
Co-Directed by Danae Gosset
Designed by Saad Moosajee and Danae Gosset
3D Animation by Saad Moosajee
Cel Animation by Danae Gosset
Technical Direction by James Bartolozzi
Junior Designer Eugene Lee

Lyrics:
You're growing tired of me
You love me so hard and I still can't sleep
You're growing tired of me
And all the things I don't talk about

Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch

It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go

Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch

There's a hole that you fill
You fill, you fill

But it's just that I fell in love with a war
And nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Just to watch it glow

#mitski #apearl #bethecowboy

[julialovesgfriend]

I love how this song ended up becoming the perfect soundtrack to everyone’s own personal story even though each story has no relation to the others??? somehow this fit everyone’s memories even if there’s no connection or similarity???

[mariabrady]

Everyones always like "omg they listen to mitski are they okay?" And never "shit man MITSKI ARE *YOU* OKAY?"

[Mees_MBpas]

Fun fact: When a clam has an irritation in it’s beak, it covers the irritating substance with layers, creating a pearl. Humans adore pearls for their beauty on the outside when it had a problem on the inside. Therefore they basically adore an issue that is covered in polishing layers. Just proof humans have always fallen for wars. They just aren’t aware because of how sugarcoated it is

[shannons]

Therapy: expensive
A Pearl by Mitski on repeat: free

[mansa_p]

Her voice has a strange kind of anguish that's strangely comforting

[userok]

why cope with the damage from your toxic relationships and your messed up relationship with physical and emotional intimacy when you can listen to a pearl by mitski and get the exact same catharsis

[dark-lovesoni]

As a male victim of domestic violence and extreme abuse for nearly 10 years in my first romantic relationship this song resonates a lot with me. Men are expected to be stoic so my difficulty with vulnerability/trust usually goes unnoticed but most of the partners I've been with since then have a hard time understanding why I get very panicky and avoidant any time there's conflict or stress at home. I've tried to explain but usually just get told "you talk about -that ex- too much" or "well I'm not like her so...". When you've spent half your life always walking on eggshells and just waiting for all hell to break loose that anxiety sticks with you, I can't just let it go. The coping mechanisms and behaviors that helped me survive that are deeply rooted in my psyche. Healing takes time, and I was in that relationship for longer than I've been out, so far. I just wish I could get my current GF to understand that my trauma isn't her fault but my hypervigilance and anxiety aren't things I can just turn off.

[bmbomgm]

I was abused as a kid so I wanted to write about what this means to me.
Most of the meaning I feel is in the line "I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" to me it's as if I was treated like this my whole life and that became so normal. Nobody thought to tell me it wasn't. Hating being touched, hating showing emotions, hating everyone around me, hating affection, hating existing wasn't normal. Nobody told me.
It wasn't as if I wanted to be like that, but my entire life it was my fault. Now it's as if I've 'fallen in love' with that life and it's taking so long to unlearn it. It left me with PTSD and a number of undiagnosed disorders and mental illnesses. Now it's like there's always a place in my head where I go to find out what I did wrong, but it's also an endless cycle because I'm still trying to remember that it isn't my fault so there is nothing to find out to begin with.
I'm still trying to learn that life isn't war.

[carterdavis]

The idea that trauma is a pearl that rolls around in your head in the night is a perfect analogy for how I would describe my own trauma. I love the imagery of all the grit and sand that I've accumulated in my head rubbing together and mixing with time becoming a pearl. Something solid and heavy that I carry.
Each molecule of sand is a different event, small and insignificant, but as it builds up, it grows into something that can't be separated from the rest of the sand and grit I have collected. It's all one pearl, and in the night I sit on my bed and look at it over and over until I am lost in its sheen.
I fucking love this song so much.

Edit:
I wrote this comment during a time when I didn't know how I was supposed to carry this pearl of trauma, and although I'm still on the journey to recovery, I have learned to live without it constantly in the forefront of my mind.
For me, acceptance is the hardest part of recovery, but I wanted you to know that you *will* recover, even if you can't see the way out.
I wrote this comment when I was too afraid to loosen my grip on the past, and would often feel too overwhelmed to do anything but stare straight into that heavy, white pearl, but I want you to understand that feeling will not last forever, and what may seem like a blinding light will fade with time and perseverance.

[julondon]

i hate that people always assume that if you listen to mitski that your depressed or your sad cuz of the music but like HER MUSIC IS FRICKING AMAZING THE WAY ITS WRITTEN THE WAY SHE SINGS IT AND PORTRAYS HER LYRICS ARE AWESOME AND HER VOICE ASWELL all of it is just so beautiful you can't help but want to cry not even when im sad i love her music

[andrewbaj]

A way I interpret "I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended" is that when someone experiences trauma for such a long period of time and finally gets out of whatever situation they were in, it is so hard knowing that you're safe and out of it, you just need that one person to tell you it's over, it ended, but no one is there to tell you that you're finally okay.

[mothmansboyfriend]

It took me 18 years to realize I was suffering from PTSD. That me hating being touched wasn't natural. That having anxiety attacks when someone touches me the wrong way wasn't part of the normal human experience. I don't know what happened, my mind keeps me from remembering. But this song perfectly explains what I feel. With people my age it's easier, but I'm still not comfortable with most physical intimacy beyond a hug, even though I want more. I can't stop thinking about my trauma either, finally putting the pieces together of all my weird unexplainable tendencies about being around people. This song is able to explain what I can't

[anotherone]

in another episode of "i feel related to this song but i think my trauma is not that bad so i start invalidating myself which makes me feel more anguish"

[ayse]

1:39 this part of the song literally takes me to a different dimension

"there's a hole that you fill,
you fill, you fill.."

[keiradickson]

mitski, i have decided to take your advice and be the cowboy.
however, i cannot stop saying yee haw. it's been 6 weeks and my friends are slowly leaving one by one.
help.

[rockzwrld]

i can’t believe mitski invented the human race

[graziazuccaro]

isn't it crazy how kinda everyone here can relate to this song, despite not being connected or anything? hearing the "sorry I can't take your touch" makes me remember my inability to handle affection, and "I fell in love with a war nobody told me had ended" is just the love I had for romance concepts and for the idea of dating and having a partner before I realised I don't experience romantic attraction. the fact that I am left behind, not able to conventionally date or anything because I just can't. the fact that i still adore the idea of being loved, but not the same as everyone else around me, and the idea of someone in love.

[shalitababy]

These are the visuals that this song deserved. Dare I say: *iconique*

[eithyica]

ya'll ever just blast Mitski whenever you're on the verge of a breakdown or is it just me

[Zelgaro]

Shoutout to Mitski for packing so much into less than 3 minutes of music. She doesn't waste your time, she just gets to it.