One Question That Sets Up A Narcissist's Collapse

There is not a soul alive who is immune to hurt and disappointment. Dr. Les Carter explains the need to come to terms with our inner struggles and he reveals one question that illustrates why the narcissistic pattern is destined to collapse.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[glassjester]

There is no question to ask a narcissist. They're incapable of genuine communication.

[aliaskong]

Never ask a narc to explain a lie unless you want to hear more lies.

[chelleb]

I know the question I want to ask all of them is "who the heck do you think you are?" because they really do think they are something special, don't they lol. It's beyond ridiculous the level of entitlement they have. They honestly think we were born just to sit at their feet in wonder and amazement, telling them how great they are while being happy with crumbs. It's just insane. You have to laugh at these people or they will make you go mad!

[realhealing]

Pain brings out the evil in narcissistic people. They become more vindictive and hateful. It's an endless cycle of emotional immaturity. You grow when you let go!

[edgreen]

Silence is something a narcissist can't handle because they look for your actions to figure how to react to get what they want. Be yourself but you don't have to tell the narcissist your life issues as they only use them against you. So protect yourself. Use boundaries.

[sunnymcalister]

I've never known a narcissist to accept they have a problem, or care what they do to other people, even if it is carefully explained to them. To accept that would mean it was their fault.

[gloria]

I love it when he goes into the silent treatment, It is so nice not to have to hear him or listen to him. Wonderful!

[brooklynnchick]

The phrase I use over and over again with my biological father is, “Your behavior is understandable given your childhood trauma but it is unacceptable to treat me like you are because of your emotions.” It is my go-to when I remove myself from an abusive situation.

[kencastleberry]

I got accused of being abusive to my mother but when I asked "In what way was I abusive? What did I do or say?" They refuse to give me one single example.

[IngeBall]

They are children with very low self esteem.
Once one realises that, tables are turned.

[MarionFeltham]

The moment I realised I was dealing with a child disguised as an adult, a lot of the selfishness, manipulation, inability to take responsibility for self, lies, oneupmanship, neediness etc - it all made sense. They have my sympathy, because it is such a miserable existence in my opinion, but from a distance!

[billthebax]

How to manage a narcissist: don’t be any where near them. Cut ties. Have nothing to do with them. If that’s not possible… figure out a way to make it possible.

[adverts]

Adversity doesn’t create character, it reveals it.

[Sue-sv]

I've walked away from so many people with narcicistic traits, but overt and covert. Some are aggressive, some passive, some are both. I just cut them off, walk away and don't look back. My life has become so much more peaceful, as a result! It's taken time to get to this point, but it's been very worth it. I don't miss their crazy anymore, at all!! Including my ex husband! I'm married to my wonderful, normal, loving and kind husband now, nearly 17 years. I'm so happy to have found him!! ❤

[wendyskriver]

Thank you Dr C for being a steadfast, trustworthy therapist. Your words are like gold to a hurting individual.

[kastelletskole]

Their pain can come from unsuspected places. In my experience, they feel threatened when they interpret a simple, everyday comment as an attack. They go into a blame shifting mode and try to convince you that you imply things about them that were not on your mind at all. It's like they can't trust your intentions. The same thing happens when you try to discuss problems. You get it right back at you. They take no time to reflect on their own role, but start blaming you. It's impossible to have a constructive conversation about the relationship.

[gerardpleasant]

What a great closing description - A narcissist, someone burned out, from the inside out.

[cynthiameyers]

We all deal with pain, but what makes life hard is when the source of pain comes a parental figure who is hellbent on making life miserable for you. I know everyone's situation is different, but choosing to be a person of peace didn't work for long. In the end, no contact was the only way to go.

[srarisa]

10:21 "Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing and that is your freedom to choose how you will respond to a situation."
What a great quote.
"I still have the privilege to choose who I am going to be"
"I don´t want to go into that place of contempt and hate and darkness"

Dr Carter, Thank you so much for remember us our freedom to be ourselves, even in pain.

[cyndim]

They turn your words into theirs right back at you like you didn’t notice. They are smarter than you because they mock you. Their ideas are better than yours because they stole them from you. Head Games on a roller coaster ride = Insanity.