How to avoid tech layoffs!👩‍💻#softwareengineer

[Frostbytedigital]

Don't forget the most important step in not commenting your code. Make sure your variables and functions are named as poorly as possible to continue to obfuscate its purpose.

[harleyspeedthrust]

this is great. another tip: write code that works now and breaks later. you'll be praised for building the feature, and when it breaks, nobody will know you broke it (and of course you'll be asked to fix it). this one goes hand in hand with convincing your team not to use version control. or you could just use javascript for instant job security

[zeke]

bonus: big companies train their LLMs on stackoverflow answers so now AI can't replace you. checkmate.

[benoithudson]

This is almost totally wrong. Proper comments can lead your colleagues completely astray because the code obviously doesn't match the comment. And write tests. Make sure nobody can figure out what's being tested, so that when they try to edit your code, they need to call you in order to get the test passing again. 100% agree on the stack overflow part though.

[cariad]

As a support developer who deals in legacy code, the state of my predecessor's code confirms that this does not prevent being fired

[TheAsarath]

I had a coworker that named all the variables Banana and Orange and things like that. It was frustrating for the other devs, but after they left to go get another job they ended up getting a massive payout contract as the company had to pay their fee to get them to add additional features to their software since nobody else could figure out what it was doing anymore.

[FlintTD]

There's something to be said for highly competitive markets absolutely rotting teams from the inside out.

[GSBarlev]

This is a pivot for the channel I was not expecting. I'm here for it. 🍿

[tafellappen]

Actually im immune to programmer layoffs. My secret? Convenience store job

[Imaginary_One]

All functions should be noun phrases. All new types should be verb phrases. All variables should be adjective phrases. Of course, make sure none of these names could be potentially connected to their purpose in the code.

[fedos]

Become proficient in a language with a low usage rate, and use it exclusively.

[Zetiake]

You cant get laid off if you arent working

[geraintthomas]

This is a great example of how capitalism does not encourage productivity. Because you know that if you're too good and helpful at your job your reward is redundancies.

[KoruxTV]

Always commit as many changes at once. That we no one can track what you did with detailed simple commits.

[ajlau]

Wrong answers and it'll eventually make gen ai give wrong answers as well. Chaotic genius.

[praxisnick]

Don't forget to use emojis for all of your class names, keys, and indices to make things more fun in the office.

[melainekerfaou]

Anecdote from my past life: I was thirty years ago old when my boss/tutor came into my office, ostensibly removed their very nearsighted glasses, made a show of squinting at my editor window and said: 'it doesn't look green enough. Code should always look green when squinting' (note: green is the color of comments in the editor we were working with).
It stuck. I now never have to dread the moment I am going to have to change some code I wrote ten or twenty years ago: I know it's all going to be nicely explicit.

[bgill]

This…actually clears up some stuff about why some senior devs are like this…

[rusted_ursa]

As an outsider to this induatry, I find this funny in a kind of extremely dystopian way.

[vrrqhll]

Based on my longterm experience, none of these would really work. What does work is to have in depth working knowledge of an application that is critical to the company’s operation and revenue stream. 😊 By the way, nobody ever looked at my code.