Call of Duty Makes No Sense

This sketch is based on a comedy article of mine that was published on CollegeHumor (RIP) about 14 years ago:

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[pennclick]

Never stopped to consider that the reward of dropping a nuke is an awful reward

[Hunteriffic]

I appreciate how the soldier never questions what "in a row" means in context

[jonathanaarhus]

He left out the part of the plan where the soldier quickly turns around 180 degrees and snipes an enemy half a mile away without even looking through the rifle scope.

[grfrjiglstan]

"Also, we're trying this new thing where you start out with only a pistol-"
"Already not a fan."
"-and when you kill someone, you get a slightly better gun!"
"You mean, I take the enemy's gun?"
"No, they just have a pistol too. We're gonna drop progressively better guns out of the sky for you as you kill more people."
"Why would you not just give me the best gun?"
"Now where's the fun in that?"
"This is a war, sir, it's not supposed to be fun!"
"Well, maybe it will be now."

[PopCross]

Really hope this guy doesn't leave the mission. I hear on his last one he did a backflip, snapped the bad guy's neck and saved the day! Absolute legend!

[gailien]

"How are you running this mission!?"
"Pretty well actually!"
"N-that's not what I mean...."
Gold, pure comedy gold

[jennifere.pergola]

The end bit about dropping a nuke ("I got the codes, baby!") and the ongoing drama of the hospital staffed by careless doctors were the best 😆.

[puggothecat]

Never thought id see a Cod sketch from Ryan, but im all for it

[nintendosoft]

I'm surprised the commander didn't mention that when you die, you come back to life after 10 seconds. So the mission is all about quasi-immortal soldiers killing, dying, then reviving to see who can kill who faster. After a certain number of deaths or an objective is reached, everyone just sort of leaves either to trash talk or scream about how useless their teammates are before the cycle begins again.

[matthewhines]

What I was expecting;
"How are you running this mission?"
"Moustache"

[jofish]

I would watch the hell out of “hospital where all the doctors are romantically inclined “

Ryan George is the only person that can make a Nord VPN add remotely watchable.

Honestly, even on par with the sketch.

The “you left your toothbrush at my house” escalating bit absolutely slayed me!

[shreyas]

you should do the first guy to get sick

[robertjordan]

Let's call this the video game pitch meeting prototype. Please do video game pitch meetings or more of these!

[driesstvn]

It's really impressive that Ryan went into the military and worked his way through the ranks JUST so he could have this conversation, record it and put it on the interwebz. Thank you Ryan for the service to our country!

[Mutantgamer]

I’ve been wanting him to make pitch meetings for games since forever. Huge wealth of potential for videos.

[artturisairinen]

Wow it's been a while until Ryan's made a parody of a specific franchise. This feels like a blast from the past.

[wstine]

I hate it when Developers reuse the same skin on each of their video game characters. It makes them all look the same, except if there's a mustache.

[trentsims]

Always thought the kill streak rewards were an odd choice by cod, since generally speaking the rich get richer is a good way to push out your more casual player base. That is why many games usually give perks to those falling behind, so they can keep the game from becoming horribly one sided.

[elmoisex]

I was going for the obligatory "I would totally watch a full season of Hospital Where All The Doctors Seem To Be Romantically Involved", but then I realised that this title accurately describes every single hospital show I've ever watched

[gibolanzarrote]

Automatically, this should be a good series.
There's a ton of games that he can roast about, haha!