Four Ways to Win the Unfaithful Spouse's Heart Back

Today Samuel shares four key points to help betrayed spouses reconnect with their unfaithful spouse.

- What kind of affair was it?

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HEAL with Affair Recovery:

[joleencox]

I know you said a disclaimer before you even started this, and deep down I may get what your saying, BUT, as a betrayed, I'm sure the unfaithful does want a safe place, well, so did we, the betrayed, while they were out ruining our lives and throwing their families away!! THEY HAD A SAFE PLACE before they CHOSE to destroy everything!!!

[bridgetgullison]

He needs to win back my heart. I don’t need to win an unbelieving heart. It’s cold and unbelieving.

[fatherst]

There's something that is not touched on here. Sometimes the unfaithful are unable to see their wrongdoing. They are unable to see the pain they handed the betrayed. These types of unfaithful people are like a cancer rolling through the lives of good humans. For what or why.
Narcissism!!

[kimrisnear]

I just struggle with having to extend compassion, patience, understanding, safety, vulnerability, honesty, empathy ect...when none of those things have been extended to me the betrayed. Had the unfaithful possessed/used any of those things we would not be in this situation. Just sucks that on top of everything else that's been done to me I am expected to extend the olive branch...when I just want to beat him with it!

[snowqtee]

I wish my husband would asked me to give him a chance, but instead he’s seems happy to be separated from us and content with his on and off relationship with his 22 year old playing games with his life and ours ..He decided to leave the day after our 23 year anniversary and we have two boys 11 and 16 we are all devastated!We had a really good marriage and we got along so so well so I was extremely blindsided!🤷🏽‍♀️Please pray for us..

[cyrusfreeman]

I’ve been contained. I’ve been patient. I haven’t told any of our friends. I barely told anyone actually… Because I want to leave the door open for her to come back, it’s been two years. There hasn’t been really anything to encourage… Just stonewalling, minimization, and denial. When is the waiting over? How long do I have to be patient? Am I supposed to get the energy to contain myself?

[cortneygrajeda]

Patience would be a lot easier if the unfaithful actually WANTED to make it work. What if the betrayed is the only one wanting to make things work?

[Weeds_and_Wishes]

What happens if the betrayed is the one begging for a chance? The unfaithful holds all the power.

[sandrakling]

How can the betrayed be calm and patient when the unfaithful is done with the affair partner, but he's talking to other women and messaging other women on Facebook? There is also no openess or accountability. Still hiding everything. To me, it's just too unsafe for me to let down my guard to him at all.

[maunder]

I appreciate what you are saying. However l believe the unfaithful should be trying to win back their faithful spouse.
I highly recommend the book "Love must be tough" by James Dobson.
And above all else pray for God to show you His will.

[heatherpersson]

You know, i am many years past my husband’s affair and our divorce and I still struggle seeing things like this. The title of this puts pressure on the betrayed - so common in Christian circles. I put myself in harms way believing I could save my marriage. Telling people to
Be open is dangerous. The unfaithfuls lie and are entitled so often, and the unfaithful here sounds like he still doesn’t get ot. I like many of these videos but you can tell they are really abut staying together as the better way. In abuse, it is not.

[nikkiallen]

Dwight Magnuson, Excuse me, but you knew she cheated on her first husband and you Still married her? I believe the saying that when someone tells you who they are Believe them! Sorry you stepped into this, it’s so painful.

[patriciakemp]

What if the unfaithful shuts you down in the beginning of every conversation? What if they are not open to marriage counseling? What if they are putting their own pain ahead of yours? What if they are telling everything they need from you but never once ask what they can do to help you heal. It's all about them.

[alwaysland]

Your time out message is used by my unfaithful to stop all questions dead before I can finish asking. He feels it is his right to leave me at the third D-day because he calls time out as soon as I begin a question. IT IS NOT FAIR OF YOU TO GIVE THEM THAT ADVANTAGE, They drop bomb after bomb and then hide and refuse to answer anything because they simply call a time out and leave or hang up.

[abdulq]

I don’t think unfaithful females think that way, at least from my experience, they feel justified, i have heard unfaithful men are really sorry, unfaithful females not so much, can u comment?

[melodykubiak]

I'm confused in a general sense. Why would the betrayed need to win back their unfaithful spouse if the unfaithful already loves her as well as his AP simultaneously, as is discussed in another video, assuming the affair is broken off so the AP has been rejected? By breaking off the affair, doesn't that show they've already chosen their spouse over the AP? If the unfaithful really loves their spouse, why would they need to be wooed back?

[lizzyg]

You said patience shouldn’t be extended to the unfaithful who is cheating over and over but that’s the case most times, people are not just here for an affair that happened but one that’s currently happening and all we get is denial, gas lighting and manipulation. I have tried so many things and watched so many videos to be at peace ….. have no idea what to do again

[lelamaciolek]

I really appreciate the disclaimers. I would shut down because of the hypocrisy of the unfaithful like clockwork.

[donnamilo]

If they are so easy to loose their heart then why bother? Just get a partner that knows how to be honest. These unfaithful are no good.

[dwightmagnuson]

Could you ever trust a cheater again? My wife was unfaithful with a former boyfriend over 8-9 years of our 13 year marriage. She also cheated on her first husband with whom she had 2 daughters. She has serious mental problems - the first being a lack of self worth -- that apparently required continuous adoration from different men.