I'm 43 years old and I have no friends.

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[rastaswhite]

Wow. The timing of this video is spot on. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. And I agree with what you’re saying John. I’m 26 and still developing as a man but I realize the more I growth, the less friends I have. And like you said, the type of friends that I want to build relationships with are all operating at high levels and rarely have time for anything else besides work and family. Crazy part is, I’m nowhere near where I want to be in life but my dreams are so big that 99% of the people I meet on this journey just don’t meet my standards to make friends with.

[DonDeMarcoKarlsruhe]

I am 45 years and no friends. Just special friends i need for particular ideas change for sport, boxing, business or just small talk. Not even my family members are my friends, because they care more for other people on street than me. The biggest scam are smoking friends. In my age men like me really only care about their financial situation.

[BlessedInEveryAreaOfMyLife]

In my 40s with no friends, a deliberate choice that has proven one of my best decisions. Cutting off connections to focus on self, especially after raising my grown child. The peace I've found is truly priceless!

[joebeta]

I'm 49 and have ZERO friends. Some people will say the same thing, but a few minutes later in the same convo, they'll say "and my friend from highschool...". Wait, I thought you said you had no friends, lol!!
I literally have NO friends. I own my own home in the suburbs, and nobody comes to my house and I don't go to anyone's house. If I die in my shower, no one will find me for days.

[arshsingh]

I agree, im 26 and struggle with this, people who I thought are ride or dies turned out to be fakes and selfish people at the end. And nowadays a lot of my “friends” are acquaintances or people who I talk with about my career. I suppose im good at networking but its always been a challenge to let people in and have a meaningful conversation at times

[GutsToCuts]

I've found a lot of comradery and friendship when I started to train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Highly recommend for any fellow man :) There is a 55 year old I know that does it and he's good at it, so don't think your age should stop you.

[realalexmackenzie]

Similar situation here. I started out in life with lots of friends, but as the years go by, people move, they get busy with life, interests change. I think if you're a "grow where you are planted" kind of person, that also keeps their interests very mainstream, it is easy to keep early life friendships going indefinitely. However, if you're creating a meaningful life on a different path, people tend to drop off.

For me, I just don't have to time, energy, or inclination to put into keeping these types of relationships alive. They payoff just doesn't seem to be there for the energy expended. I couldn't care less about sports, so that removes a lot of the common interests that men share. The men I would share interests with are also out making their dent in the universe. I imagine someday, when we are all a lot older, and have accomplished what we set out to do, we may all get together on a beach somewhere and catch up on all the social connections missing in the solitary grind years.

[davidgraciano]

great video. I feel the same way, I stopped drinking and lost the majority of my friends. I was a bartender in San Diego for over 10 years and getting out of the industry and not drinking anymore has completely secluded me from my main friend group. I would like to find a group of buddies who are killing it in business who I see a few times a month. Love the content bro keep up the good work

[jonathanwingmusic]

I'm 39 and have been a remote-based freelancer for over 15 years. Prior to that when I used to work in an office, I didn't really vibe with the corporate ladder-climbing culture of most of my co-workers so I didn't really have many friends even then. Always been a bit of a lone wolf, although I can be very gregarious and extroverted when I want to be! I used to be a heavy drinker & outgoing partier, and am now 4-years sober. Going sober is the best thing I've done for my health, but that put a big dent in my social circle, no doubt. But like you said, most of that circle were just "drinking buddies." We had a lot of fun and they were good people, but no one I would call on in the time of need. Now, post-covid, what close friends I did have moved away, got married, had kids, etc – such that I can't say I have too many friends left, and it's hard going on 40 to make new ones. I've come to a place of acceptance with it, it doesn't really faze me, but I admit it would be nice to have a few more people I could kick it with in person.

[elbanti]

51, completely housebound, autistic, chronic illness, actually zero friends. Not even distant friends I talk to let alone spend time with and do anything with. I see no one. Except on video. HI INTERNET FRIENDS. 👋😬😞

[jdub]

I’m 50 never married and no kids. I have no real friends mainly just work associates but nothing outside of work. I’m a loner by nature and I have always preferred my own company. Having friends is overrated.

[MRKetter]

Status and age make friends more distant.. don't worry, you have friends they're probably just busy for now. I always thought I lost my brother as a friend for a long time, that's always been self-hating bullshit. You made mistakes in life, you're human. Peace be with you.

[connor]

I agree with all of your points. You're not the only one who feels this way. None of my close friends live near me so I rely on sports leagues to meet new people.
I like your points about real friends vs drinking buddies. I don't need the people I'm hanging around to be super elite, but I'm also not trying to surround myself with complete degenerates.
Currently trying to determine the right balance between solitude and socializing!

[imoretull]

It's difficult in the 40s. People are busy, families (with kids), different values, responsibilities, less patience, past pain experiences, etc. An immediate connection of rapport must take place to transcend the issues. Also, there is a stigma of sharing feelings with other men unless he is an old time connected friend.

[geronimofrederiks]

Im from 82. And I came to the same conclusion as you did. I quit using drugs in July 2022, and therefor I needed to cut of the people involved in that too. So to make a long story short, I dont have anyone left that I hung out with. Its something positive that brought a lot of negatives too. Sometimes I even like to think life was more fun in the drug abuse times than now, ironically. But I try to stay strong to that shit. I want to see my children grow up and be there for them. Cant be in this toxic environment anymore.. 🙏🏾

[tiagozortea]

The moment I started being successful I had to pretty much shut down to my friends because I couldn't talk to them anymore about me. Anything I would say about myself would sound like bragging, I tried in the beginning and I could tell how uncomfortable they would get. So the friendships I have are kinda shallow in the sense that I don't share much about myself. Same for family. Nobody but my wife knows how successful I am.

[Mamboking]

I’m 52 I have acquaintances, some friendships I had to end for my own peace of mind, you are all you need in life

[workforyouraims]

I am 29 and all of my friends moved away (1 is coming back soon). I honestly don't have the time and energy to have friends the same I was 20. I prefer having very few friends, so I can I work on my skills. Even having 2-3 friends takes so much time to handle. It is not easy when you have to work full time, commute, study new technologies etc. Also every year that passes I enjoy my loniless more in the point I crave it. I need to spend time alone.

[jillmariaplatteaux]

Me neither. 43. It's lonely. I have no sisters, brothers, not married, no kids, ..

[tmbrad]

To all of your struggling with this, try taking up hobbies, classes (ie yoga, self defense, acting, improv, etc), social clubs, organizations and sports leagues that align with your interests. You’ll meet like minded people there.