Why No One Can Understand Us Unless We Speak

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Without quite knowing we do this, we often behave as if other people should understand what we want and feel by magic, without us putting things into words. It's a relic from childhood which we should outgrow, doing the world the favour of expressing our moods cogently, rather than hoping others can guess at them. They can't, even the very nice ones!

FURTHER READING

“It sounds absurd when stated baldly, but we do not always – at some deep level – understand that we need to speak to those whom we so badly wish would understand us. We long for our intentions to be known, for our moods to be honoured, for our states of mind to be read – but we do not for that matter want to speak or particularly see an urgent need to do so. We want to be guessed at, intuited, read by a kind of magic we don’t realise we believe in. We want people to know what we have not bothered to tell them. We may even, in certain moods, suspect that they know full well what we think and want – but are deliberately frustrating us in order to score points and humiliate us. The only explanations for them not having guessed already is rudeness, a lack of love or extreme stupidity.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

& Neil Evan
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That old man has more problems than communication. That poor bird.

rach.
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Sometimes I suspect this channel of stalking me 'cos the timing is so terribly right. Every single time.

jessybond
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I feel like another reason why people don’t speak up/express themselves is because when you keep getting shut down and told your wrong, why would you keep trying?
I remember one time in school a teacher kept asking questions to the class. But when someone would answer incorrectly she would say “Wrong! Idiot.”
So then no one would want to even guess in case they were wrong and got yelled at.
I guess this also applies to peoples personal life’s too.
When you finally tell someone something personal and they are dismissive of it.
It makes sense why many of us don’t want to communicate openly out of fear of being “wrong”.

VioletannaVlogs
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I'm not quite sure how to feel after watching this

FreedomStrider
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Everyone views the world through their own PERCEIVED reality. Thus, it is hard to understand each other if we DON'T communicate.

beingpras
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R.I.P. Pigeon. He just wanted to be understood.

Matt
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this idea of a romantic partner understanding and even predicting our desires is pushed by media. we see it in movies, tv shows, and naturally, we start believing that that's how a loving person should be

Belle_Marielle
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There is a second side to communication; speaking as well as, listening. Most people want to be heard and have little issue with opening their mouths; they just do not wish to listen to others...

jarrettadam
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"News just in! The old man who bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning, has been seen on a pigeon kiling rampage. If you see this man smiling suspiciously at a pigeon, please call your local authorities."

isaach.
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Give a kiss to the animator from my side. Please.

aditya
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Effective communication is very necessary for healthy relationships. Speak up for yourself whenever needed..

dhruv..........
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Expressing emotions ain't easy
Especially putting our feelings into words
Humans are complex creatures

Vivi-xqgg
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Oh hell nah. You all did not need to obliterate a pigeon in this animation.

mimialkattan
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people have sky high expectations sometimes

HengHuiMei
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This is validating. It's important to remember that it isn't anyone's job to read your mind, and even if they do know what your probably thinking, they might be using your lack of communication skills as an excuse to avoid the issue themselves. Speaking your truth gives theme a chance to respond, perhaps even kindly! I'll remember this vid when I finally ask for my (much deserved darn it) promotion.

tiffanybriery
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Am I the only one that was disturbed by the part where the old man gets angry and kills the pigeon?

vanilla
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This is such a twisted yet well made clip. It links us to the fundamental and then asks us to look deep into ourselves as to how/who we are today. Good job guys!!

gomonkeyking
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1. We have acquired linguistic skills only 70, 000 years ago. Before that, for 130, 000 of our species existence, we were communicating nonverbally.
2. Our hardware and software are failing to cope with an information overload of our modern surroundings.

khaimgulkovich
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Body language is still a strong indicator.

yourdedcat-qrln
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2:34 me turning off my alarm on a Monday

dragoncelso