Why INFJs Hide from the World

INFJ and INFP personality types often have a love/hate relationship with the outside world. Many INFJ and INFP personality types are hermits and have a high level of fear and social anxiety, but we also genuinely care about people and we crave deep levels of emotional intimacy with others.

INFJ and INFP personality types are naturally open receivers, which means we are extremely sensitive to energy. Many INFJ and INFP personality types also tend to forget this trait and we push ourselves to “get over it” every time we go out into the world. We say “yes” to attending social functions, when we really would be better served by saying “no.” However, because we have a feeling of obligation that comes with most relationships, we don’t let ourselves bow out of things nearly as much as we would prefer. We force ourselves to show up for events anyway, and then we feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

“Getting over it” is a form of us violating our own boundaries for self-care, and we usually do this because we feel a lot of shame that we are not like most other people. We force ourselves to push through social events and then we have to hide from people later because we need a massive amount of recovery time. The amount of recovery time we need after social events feels like a source of shame too.

Because of all this shame, INFJ and INFP personality types usually do not open up to other people about their extreme sensitivity to energy and how much recovery time we need after interacting with people or going to social events. Instead of communicating openly and honestly about our boundaries, we use the hiding strategy in most situations.

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[colonelgraff]

We’re introverts and need to recharge.
We’re comfortable in our own energy but not around most other people.
We’re very comfortable in our own head.

[DonTrump-svsi]

Any other INFJs like to be out and about but be invisible at the same time?

[westernsellers]

We dont have a problem with hiding from the world, we are good at it 😂😂😂

[AL-dylj]

This modern superficial frivolous society is maddening

[exhibitjean]

Whats the point of having a "gift" if no one cares about it and society doesnt value it?

[beckygreen]

So helpful thank you. For me as an INFJ, I hide from the world not out of fear, anxiety or shyness, but because I can't relate to many people out there and their lack of any conversation that I find meaningful. It's utterly exhausting. And lonely.

[Natalia-xoyj]

This makes so much sense to me. I feel peace at home and doing my things alone. I feel overwhelmed by the toxicity in society. I just want peace and healthy people/friendships.

[sarah.j.]

Because most people are petty, lame, opportunistic backstabbers.

[wren]

Most people seem to have a problem with my introversion. They think I should get out of my shell and "do things." I don't care about fitting in but it seems to bother them that I don't. I'm 68 years old it never ends.

[annabon]

The older I get the more of a hermit I have become. My family says “that’s not good for you, you need to make an effort”. I used to love to travel, now I find it overwhelming.

[drinajgb]

As I have gotten older I have learned to embrace my alone time. Getting out is exhausting. I literally have to recover from going out anywhere. I love being home and being in nature. I would rather spend time with my dogs and get overloaded with other peoples energy which actually can be painful. I now protect my energy and value this aspect of myself. I am different and that is absolutely fine.

[erinemery]

This resonates with me. It has gotten harder for me to go out and engage with the world as I've gotten older.

[shedragonrider]

I’ve learned to be happy alone while out riding my motorcycle, the ultimate duality being out and out of reach 😊

[lancelotdufrane]

INFJ deeply committed to staying home. I gather errands and get them done on one day outside the house. Hurry home. Can’t enjoy mankind. Crazy is too prevalent. I know I’m enjoyed by those I do business with… they are very glad to see me. Yet… I just want to get back to my books and music. Polite courteous speedy exchange is the goal. It brings misunderstanding to others. Oh well.

[donald]

I always thought I was cursed or something my whole life until I realized I'm INFJ it answered so many questions for me the more I tried to fit in it just got worse

[channelDD]

Sadly i see the healing of the world is futile. Its not soley on any individual to accomplish, but a collective effort. I don't think many people in life see there is any issue with the way life currently is.

[richardlau]

Every time I leave home, all I think about is getting home as soon as I can. Then I only have to deal with the neighbors’ noise.😂

[belle]

Living a secluded life is not a problem. It's my nirvana.

[BiblicallyHandle]

INFJ here,
Keep in mind that you may experience life better in other countries. Germany has smaller stores and less small talk than in the US. Generally, Germans are also more private individuals as we are. My point is, you CAN find your place in the world. Countries tend to have differing personalities as well.

[Joohee]

I went to TJ Maxx today and couldn’t push myself to get to the grocery store without a two hour retreat home and even then I felt so exhausted still. I’m an INFJ btw. I’ve known forever that I’m an empath, HSP, sensitive to energy, etc. but I really needed this reminder. ❤