Like hun DO NOT date him #lesbian #wlw #lgbt #lgbtq

[Tuakie]

In one of Halsey's songs she says, "it's funny how the warning signs can feel like they're butterflies". Those lyrics changed so many things for me.

[katiebybee]

When I tell you I reevaluated my entire life after hearing this

[jeanlapoint]

How grown ups used to say “He pulled you hair, or he pushed you or tripped you? That means he likes you!”
Good god!!

[beauregarden]

This is so painfully true
In addition to this I had this one guy friend who I actually felt really safe around so I thought I was full on in love with him. Turns out we were both gay 🤣

[sarahemf]

Still learning this in my 30s. Don’t stress about your age in all of this.

[Miss_Zoey]

Turned out *most* of my attraction towards women was envy 😌 (I'm trans)

[robertgronewold]

I had a similar problem with girls. I would get very anxious and uncomfortable around the 'pretty' girls. No, turns out I was quite gay, but that those preppy pretty girls were bullies who I was nervous over. Took to me being 24 to figure out the whole gay thing though.

[Javicelon]

I told a friend don’t date people who give you butterflies date people who make you feel safe, because butterflies can turn into fear real quickly. She told me it was the best advice I have given her.

[auralay]

Yup. Cause they teach girls to value male comfort more than their safety.
I say the butterflies are a sign to run, on the spot.

[meriotheart]

I kind of had this but friendship vs crushes. People always told me that if you think someone is fun and want to be around them a lot that that's a crush. So have gotten into relationships (very few tho) and started to get nervous/annoyed when people wanted to do romantic things. It also took me around 20 years to realise that you can really want to be friends with people and that there is more to crushes/attraction (in al it's ways, shapes or forms) than just thinking someone is fun and wanting to hang out with them. No one ever told me that aromantic and asexual were options too. Fun times

[lol-go]

I had a friend who is a lesbian. She has told me that she used to handpick who her crush was, making whole pros and cons lists in her head, only to "pass" as straight and convince herself and others.

[arceushelpus]

goddamn, men are so hurt in this comment section for no reason.Her stating her experiences that other women can relate to is not an attack on you. It's okay to not understand or relate to everything you see.

[giorvis]

I did the same reasoning as a gay man!
Till I was 14 yo I felt extremely anxious and awkward when I was around girls because society and my family taught me that I was meant to be a gentleman, a Latin lover, a heartbreaker and all sorts of bullshit and that we couldn't be just friends without feeling sexual and/or romantic tensions towards one another. Now I'm totally chill towards the opposite gender because I know that what I was taught it's not the reality, or at least it's not MY reality.

[moon_xwasntavailable]

I still remember thinking ‘huh, I feel deeply neutral about every boy I’ve ever met, wonder if I’ll ever fall for a someone (a guy)’. Me now aro ace spec and having only ever liked one girl lol

[Jay-Zech]

It’s always great to hear other non-straight people talk about how they observed their queerness before actually realizing what it was. I never realized until very recently that all those boys I desperately wanted to be “friends” with were actually just mad crushes 😂

[PrincessInDTower]

This is how I ended up with my abuser. I wasn't told my entire life what the feeling of discomfort was because my mother treated me similar ways my entire life, so by the time I met him I had no tools to be able to understand how much danger I was in.

We dated for 3 years. I dumped him in April and the amount of times I've had to go to friends like "hey is this normal?" And see the shock and horror on their face tells me a lot

Jokes on him I figured out I'm gay

[michellebrickner]

For a few years I wondered if I was bisexual because I had the same attraction to men and women, that is to say I was attracted to neither. Then I heard about asexuality and I was like, "No, that's more accurate." 😂

[cleoarbel]

Also hearing "he's only mean to you because he likes you" pushes that misinterpretation more

[DeathnoteBB]

It also doesn’t help we get told “Oh he bullies you because he likes you!”
And it really doesn’t help that when that inevitably sets up women to confuse abuse with love, society blames the women for being told by society that abuse is love.

[j-]

People, even if you are actually attracted to guys, it is worth evaluating these feelings because some interactions may have produced actual romantic feelings and others may have just made you scared, but maybe you were too young or caught in the moment to process it and interpret it properly.