Tormented by thoughts of your ex with a new lover?

Ed writes, “Hello Susan, Here are my thoughts on a video request. As we experience the grief from a heartbreak, we also have a variety of emotions to deal with (as you have discussed in videos). One huge additional thing I'm not sure you have covered is the reality of how to deal with the thought and feeling of knowing your former Lover is having sex with someone new or will be having sex with someone new. Thank you.”

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[slyfly]

i think the hardest part about my ex discarding me, is that i lost something i invested heavily in.

[robinwilliams]

Your Ex is NOT the Prize you Think they are!!! They are NOT worth it!!!!

[suzannegundersen]

that's the key phrase... they're not going to have the same experience they had with you.

[expertbyexperienceshared]

Focus on the reality of who they turned out to be and feel sorry for the new "victim" cause they have it all to come .

[sv]

There’s 2 comforting things on each side. Just cos he’s got someone new doesn’t mean it’s happy or that person is flawless. If theyre seemingly happy now, doesn’t mean it’s gonna be the same months or years to come. Eventually, they’ll get bored and get out of that “In love” stage (cos most relationships do) And on the flip side, if he did end up with someone “flawless” and better than you, question is, if he’s not fixing himself and deteriorating, will the other person be as in love with him as you were or if so, will she stay in love and not leave him eventually. So continue to work on yourself, be the best version of you. It’s my fuel to focus on improving all areas of my life. You’re not missing out. So when the time comes their relationship doesn’t work out (which most times they usually don’t) You’ve already improved yourself into so many levels. He may want you back or he may not. But either way it’s a win win. By then you’ve probably moved on, you’ve grown & be a better catch. Hope that helps.

[King-rtqm]

The pain is unreal sex isn’t just sex bro I really felt that my soul was connected with this person like what this hurts

[mwloos]

“She’s not your girl it was just your turn”always helps me.

[blastprosful]

Those intimate moments she's now sharing with someone else.

Absolutely the worst pain

[jeremyfannon]

Nothing is harder than getting over an ex with a someone else when you have a child together.

[dianaf]

Susan Winters is such an intelligent, classy woman. She knows what she's talking about, unlike a lot of the other "coaches".

[seaglass]

I could never be intimate with someone else if I were in love with another... also, I could never sleep with someone unless in a very serious relationship believing it's heading to marriage. So, I'm celibate now and will remain that way. Having multiple partners is one of the most unhealthy and dangerous things you can do. You're literally accepting their energy into your energy field and into your body. Consider that!

[danielbagutti]

Guys... this really helped me: you think of them having sex with a new partner.. but what about when you will have sex with someone else? They will think that too... so we’re even..

[Hilary]

When a person leaves, delete them off social media ASAP

[seanj]

This was told to me: When you are discarded by someone, they took you out into the middle of the ocean and dumped you overboard. They closed their eyes and counted to three and then realized you had fins (they forgot to cut off). You swam away. Now they are forced to look out into miles and miles of sea trying to find you!” Good luck with that. It is NOT your fault, they dumped you. They weren’t concerned if you could swim or even survive that initial entrance into a foreign world. All they knew is, they got rid of you. So let them search and search for you amongst the waves. Let every mirage they see be a “maybe that’s them moment..” It is not your fault. May the forever tormenting thoughts haunt them of their decision! That my friends is the best way I can put it!

[Pinkpebbledust]

My ex was not faithful during the realtionship. When he felt that I did not understand him, he chatted to girls online. He did this previously, in other relationships, so for him it comes natural. He now has a new relationship and seems happy, but somehow I know that his bad patterns will re-appear. I try to think of that when I get stuck in the loop. People don't change. Focus on his bad parts. You miss the feelings, memories, not the person.

[Goldan]

This video made me so happy to think that the person my ex is possibly with now, is experiencing the worst version of him!!😁😁 I never thought of it that way. I am convinced he is not working on his self, because he always felt he was perfect and I was the one with all the issues. Eventually he will realize how toxic he really is!😁

[amiyeptho]

The hard part about moving on is knowing ur ex was not a bad person or a narcissist. And u still have immense love for them but it just didn’t work also trying to move on when they’re already happy with someone else.

[breakingbombast]

I’ve had to learn this for fear of becoming someone who I am not - namely possessive, obsessive, jealous, or stagnant.

[ramirenriquez]

If you're still thinking of your ex a week after the break up that's normal. 3 months or longer, that's not healthy.

Susan is right here. We think our ex is now so much better without us, we don't know that and we don't need to know that. When you think of other things that aren't helping your current situation, this means you got so much free time that your mind goes in different places to fill up the time you have in your hand. Be positively occupied and believe that your ex is now somebody else's problem

[ZubairKhan-vsfe]

If you are focused on your ex having the great experiences then you must also accept that they are having the terrible experiences. Nobody only has great experiences.