How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity: Become Reliable

“Respect is given, but trust is earned.” Rick says this a lot at EMS Weekend, and it’s absolutely true. After infidelity, the wayward spouse cannot just ask their mate to trust them; they need to prove they are trustworthy. So where can they start? By being reliable. Today, Samuel discusses the importance of reliability in recovery and shares tips for how to rebuild trust after infidelity.

Hope Rising 2021 | Annual conference for betrayed spouses

ON-CAMERA EXPERT: Infidelity survivor and Affair Recovery Survivors’ Blog contributor Samuel.

“How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity: Become Reliable.” Survivors’ Blog video by Affair Recovery (C) 2021

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[anabrr]

I fell into a brief inappropriate texting relationship with a classmate of mine. It got out of hand and towards the end sexual and my fiancé found these texts. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself, all I see is the heart that I shattered and for what? Some reassurance that I was still desirable to other people after 7 years in a happy relationship? I’ve been watching videos like this all week and I still just feel so much anguish I can’t even imagine what my fiancé is going through. He has decided to try and forgive me and have us move on, but I’m scared that at any moment he can leave me and I will have no right to fight it. I really don’t know what came over me, but I’m going to be there for him as much as I possibly can to prove to him that he can still rely on me. Praying for the betrayed and betrayers of the world to heal. ❤

[davidhill]

Years ago I was unfaithful and i still hate myself for it. I never imagined i could be the person to hurt my wife so badly. I'm at the end of your video now in tears. I really appreciate this video. It gives me some hope. Thank you.

[Tonyanicolew]

This video was the hug of understanding that I needed. My boyfriend said to me yesterday “you never gonna trust me again, just admit it” I said why are you asking and expecting trust so bad. I said trust is the reason we are back at square one. It seems he wants trust more than love, or respect. But why? To do what with my trust when he had it multiple times and broke it every single one of those times. He’s not focused on being reliable he’s mad that he doesn’t have my blind trust again.

[RICHGTV]

I’m an unfaithful and this hit so hard right in my heart. Thank you God for this channel.

[jilly]

Being reliable and consistent and responsible speaks to stability. Stability is a facet to a sense of safety and security. This so goes in tandem with honesty, transparency, and an approachable attitude. Huge!

[HeatherCates-qi]

This video really hit home for me. The way it talks about love and second chances made me think of my own situation. My fiancé left me after five years, and I’ve been struggling to move on

[xaviercastro]

Wow good timing. The biggest obstacle for me is trying and wanting to trust my wife so we can just move on. And then I catch her in a couple lies today. Just stupid lies. Yep, immediately back to zero. And she doesn’t understand why. Why can the betrayed see how important truth and no deception is but the unfaithful squanders progress on stupid deceptions that can be easily verified. BIG SIGH!

[Rd]

Thank you so much for this message. I wish my unfaithful spouse would be like this now and when the infidelity came out. It would have healed so much hurt. When there is defensiveness and self righteousness it only heaps more pain on top of the wounds that are there already.

[giselamartinez]

I lost my husband as he wasn't able to understand and apply this concepts. I was the crazy one asking for stupid this, the one that couldn't get over it and blindly trust again even when he proved over and over he was not reliable exactly as you explained in the video. I had to ask him to leave for good.

[robbysanchez]

I was unfaithful. And i feel confident that i will never be unfaithful again. Its definitely been a challenge being the unfaithful. Because even though i would never be unfaithful again. There are still emotions and thoughts that are hard for me to be open up about with her. I never realized that being in a relationship meant that i would have to reveal my deepest secrets of myself. Secrets that i even avoid thinking about. Secrets that ive had before me and her were even together.

[marcijewell]

Thank you so much for these videos. They have helped my spouse and I so much. They help me communicate to him how to get through this horrific time.

[svang]

Excellent video. Thank u. But I also think respect is earned too. I can't give respect to someone if they aren't doing things worthy of respect

[internaltuning]

This comment section is so honest and helpful.

[How.Dare.You.]

You got what you gave, learn your lesson and move on

[carolemig]

Thanks for this. Appreciate so much you speaking, having been the betrayer. So so powerful. Thank u Jesus for the truth. Keep speaking it. There is so much freedom in the truth.

[peytonmarsh]

I am an unfaithful… and this video was a true wake up call and how I really need to start being a more reliable, respectful person. Thank you 🙏🏻

[tammymorrissey]

Thank you I needed to watch this to start the recovery process. I am the betrayed and send this to the unfaithful.

[fatherst]

In my opinion you will never get the trust back to its original form. Once you have accepted they are capable of infidelity that kind of trust is gone. If you want to work it out and move past it together, then you have to accept that partner has been unfaithful and has the ability to make that choice again. We as the betrayed know that, and accept it or not. I did not accept it. My wife was unfaithful, so to me she was not the person for me. Some may disagree with my decision, maybe God disagrees, but it's my life and I deserved better.

[junjeanne]

As a betrayed who is trying to work out things with my fiancee, I must say you guys have already given us so much great advise, this is another great example! I believe that an unfaithful partner might be overwhelmed with the emotional chaos that comes along with an affair and might out of helplessness not be able to see how important reliability and transparency are for both of us to recover and heal. I know I feel so much safer and calm if I know about my spouses plans, even if sometimes things happen and change...

[chrisjudd]

Im an unfaithful. It is probbaly too late for me, I just pray that I get the chance to show her I have changed.