Narrated D&D Story: How Farmer Brown Buried The Goblin Horde With His Lethal Shovel

That moment when an NPC outperforms your players...



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Watch the story of how this heroic warforged lived on forever here:

Watch how a player managed to outsmart his jerk DM and entire party here:

Credits-
Narration: MyLo (Twitter/VoMylo)
Background Music: 'The Lost Woods' by Cody Martin (Song Licensed with Soundstripe)

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[felixlavulpe]

Fantastic reading as always boys. I'm the DM from this game (As well as the player for Astoshan and Durki) and I'm looking to make Brown's shovel a magic item for an upcoming game, any ideas anyone?

[GamerJosh]

That farmer is Goblin Slayer in disguise.

[therobokraken]

Farmer brown: "Welp corn aint gonna fertilize em'selves, come at me bois."

[totallylost]

Farmer you watermelons are gigantic !!! What's your secret?
I bury my enemies in the garden.

[blindoutlaw]

Goblin Slayer’s retirement was ruined by his past coming back to haunt him.

[martinwillimann]

Party: (fails to kill some goblins)

Farmer Brown: grabs shovel, ,guess i'll have to do it myself''

[obi-wank-enobi]

The town: OH NOOO THE DRAGON IS
Farmer brown: aww shit here we go again *grabs shovel*

[anionhero]

I had an NPC that looked like an old human that the party named Bob the Accountant. It was a high level campaign in which they had been given some land to rule over. The city was being over run by an army of goblinoids. The party got concern when they saw that a large group of enemies entered Bob's place and they were unable to get over there. It took almost twenty rounds before they could even think of heading over there. As they rushed to Bob's home, he steps out. His clothes a little ripped. But all and all he seemed fine. The party found out later in the campaign that Bob was a polymorphed Gold Dragon.

[Renagadezzzz]

Player: "Who are you... some kind of hero?"
Farmer Brown: "No mam, i'm just a simple farmer passing through." **Walks off into the sunset**

[naturalone]

Plot twist: Farmer Brown was Odin taking a day off, and his shovel was Gungnir.

[patrickkelly]

Imagine busting through a door to tank a bunch of incoming damage, and then die to an airborne wooden chair

[kurt]

Farmer brown: monsters? Am I blind because all I see is fertilizers

[JesseNightingale]

Aaah yes the ancestor of Farmer with a Shotgun from Dragon Ball.

[TheDefectiveAI]

Party: “The goblins are overrunning the village.”
Heavy Metal music starts playing.
Farmer Brown: “Souka”

[gryphose]

~And it's bad, bad Leroy Brown
. The baddest man in the whole damned town.~

[fatcoyote]

I love how Farmer Brown became a professional wrestler at the end of the vid.

[AFlyingTrout]

Fighter: "Okay guys, these goblins have given us a lot of trouble in the past. Bard, make sure to use vicious mockery to try and scatter them so we don't have to fight too many at the same time. Ranger, can you give me a number crunch real quick?"
Ranger: "Yea one sec. I'm coming up with a 32.33-- repeating, of course, percent chance of survival."
Fighter: "Well, that's a lot better than we normally do. Okay guys, when I--"
Farmer Brown: "Alright chumps, lets do this!

[williamfalls]

The Inn: "This is a demon level threat! Six well armed Goblins are killing people!"

Farmer Brown: *sighs* "I guess I'll go..." *grabs his shovel and yellow jumpsuit and white cape*

[Veklim]

Had a session a while back where the group had to trudge through a woodland area and had been told by the druid and rangers in the area not to upset, disturb or harm the wildlife if at all possible. Group agree thinking it'll be simple enough and move on. About half an hour in, our Leviathan Hunter accidentally trips on a badger burrow entrance and out bursts the resident, already in frenzy due to it's tail being trodden on. Leviathan hunter backs away fast, avoiding hurting or upsetting the creature further and gets away without further incident, but not until after the badger gets a single good bite on his ankle.


Me being the diligent player I am (usually I'm the DM so this is doubly amusing for me) I point out that the badger has, in fact, just won an encounter against a level 14 character and should probably be awarded the experience due to it (fair is fair). Turns out this is harder to calculate than you'd expect, since the level difference puts the encounter (for the badger) at a totally impossible difficulty. The DM scratched his head for a long while (being quite by-the-book and therefore agreeing the badger has indeed just levelled up significantly) and eventually gives up trying to figure out the whole thing, merely stating the badger is now 'a worthy opponent should one wish to risk the engagement'.


Now the whole area of woodland is cordoned off by the druid and rangers who take care of the area, the locals knowing only that somewhere in it's depths lurks a creature of immense, almost godly power, and you will never see it coming until too late.

[Taneth]

Who is this Mystery Man?
"They call me The Shoveller"