Why I Don't Talk About My Hallucinations

I don't often share about what my hallucinations entail, and I have some good reasons for this. In this video, I talk about why I don't talk about my hallucinations very often.

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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #hallucination

[eyesinmythroat]

i’m pretty open w talking about them but i literally had someone tell me my hallucinations were other dimensions crossing over. let me tell you i did not need that in my already scattered brain

[brendanmcloughlin]

Makes a lot of sense, I have had so much trouble sharing as I suffered medico-legal abuse and had to open my medical records to my family as part of a divorce this was massively traumatising and the stigma and fear that arises from it in myself and in others was so hard to overcome. Great to hear about how good you are at enforcing boundaries I’ve learned more about it now.

[lwpqgsp]

ABSOLUTELY! It’s not your f*cking business!!! I’ve had my ex who told his hippy friends ( without my permission) that I hallucinate. Most of them use hallucinogenic drugs, and would actually say “wow you can trip all on your own…COOL!” I walked away and broke up with him immediately.

[genesis]

This is so true. When I struggle the most, it's frustrating to call attention to what I'm actively trying to ignore. 😑

[JadenRiley]

My SO is often caught off guard when I start talking about the hallucinations. She never asks me and it's really not something I talk about all too often. She is very, very understanding and it makes it so much easier

Edit: OMG the "background" chatter is exactly what I go through. It is very easily ignored, for the most part

[thethe]

I've also found that talking about thoughts and experiences produced by my mental illness makes them more real or gives them more power. I have pretty frequent episodes where I think for no reason that I'm going to die soon and need to go to the hospital to prevent whatever's about to happen. I know it isn't rational and is my illness talking, but I've found that as soon as I say out loud what I'm thinking, it usually escalates to a full blown panic attack where I'm 100% sure that I need an ambulance right that moment even though I knew minutes earlier that it was just my mental illness and I have these episodes all the time. So weird how the brain works...

[ferretkitty]

Taking my meds a little late tonight, feeling a little weird and stressed. I got immediately watery eyed when this video started and a big smile. Love this video, thanks guys.

[theresamagladry]

I appreciate that you share your experience AND you have firm and appropriate boundaries.

[ronspiegl]

You highlight such a smart question. When speaking of your hallucinations to anyone, you have to trust that they are grounded in the real world. Personally when I was suffering for the period I was, I learned to share with my Mother my experiences. She was able to cut through all the fear and offer me hope, connecting me to reality in a way I could use to learn to follow and give me proper guidance. Many times people may say something to confirm a hallucination unwittingly. So sharing them many times only adds to the separation from reality. It is a tricky subject.
Offering the insightful and professional videos you have has given an amazing voice to perhaps understanding and fighting this evil scorge on a otherwise healthy mind. Everyone has a story of the positive things that has provided them deliverance from aspects of the illness. You must present these short questions and helpful remedies as you come across them. I believe that is the true value you are presenting to all of us who have or are suffering this illness. God bless you and your family.

[sej_]

I find it difficult to disclose my paranoid episodes. People think they want to know, but when it's paranoia about them it can be offensive. Especially if it's friends or family you genuinely love and care about, I imagine it'd be difficult not to be hurt by. I do wish I could be open at times as it would probably help to alleviate the mindset, only very rarely have I felt someone close to me could handle it.

[gonderwoman]

I work at a residential facility; our main client population has schizophrenia. I also have BPD and Bipolar and experience psychotic symptoms at times, usually mild anymore because my meds are working well. I thought the yelling cruel things and commands to harm myself was "normal" depression for a very long time until I decided to focus on mental health and go into this field to speak up for those who can't. Because of my own experience especially, I always work hard to build rapport with clients and tread lightly when inquiring for the first time about hallucinations or delusions. If they do share that they're hearing voices, I usually just ask if they're being mean or really loud and don't pry into the exact details unless they want to share. I also always give an "out" and remind them they don't HAVE TO tell me and acknowledge how I know it can be embarrassing or scary, but also sometimes just annoying, and respect if they say no. I've even told a few to "tell me it's none of my business if you need to" so the start of your video made me laugh.

I didn't talk about my symptoms for a very very long time. At work is the main place I do at all now to provide peer support. I also will ask what someone is looking at if I see them staring off and validate if I see something moving or clearly state there's nothing there. I've even walked with a resident/client to look closer at something only they could see. With rapport, my word can hold weight so they know if it is real or not, and I don't take offense if sometimes they believe me and sometimes they don't. Often times I find the best thing to do is just give positive affirmations that they have support if they need it, remind them they may have an as needed med to take if they want to, and offer suggestions of how to cope (music, pacing, writing, music, TV, game, etc). I don't need specific details to just be kind to them.

[stephanie]

I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do suffer from hallucinations. I personally am very open about mine and, in fact, feel better when I’m able to talk about it. Just another point of view 😊. Regardless of anyones point of view, thank you for touching upon this sensitive topic and sharing your thoughts on it.

I also have the opposite experience that you have when sharing. It helps me distinguish between hallucinations and reality. It reinforces to myself that it’s only a hallucination and not real.

[yaminaabed]

Thank you Lauren for another great video. My mother (61) who has paranoid schizophrenia has just starred telling me about her hallucinations. She doesn’t think she has any mental illness 😢but rather she’s being controlled by “mental health security”, “neighbours”, “doctors”. I think she’s deeply suffering but doesn’t recognise it’s her illness. She has gone on some meds but alleges that the “bullies” attack her even more when on meds. It breaks my heart knowing that she is suffering and I don’t know how to help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you 🙏 in advance. Sending everyone love ❤

[jenjackson]

I clicked on your video and since my volume was set too high I was immediately met with a very loud "ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" and this made me laugh out loud. I love this and so true.

[manbrains]

As a nurse on a psychosis recovery unit, it's a standard question to ask. Sometimes it's not a private area where I'm touching base though so this is a good reminder to be sensitive and keep the conversation open vs a start of shift check in only.

[happybergner]

I love seeing you bubbly. I hope you and Rob and baby are doing ❤️‍🩹 well!

[BlairPittams]

Thank you for being able to function at a high level, I often look at people like u and really get the reality grips of my illness

[caseyblau]

I have constant hallucinations. Mostly auditory but some visual as well. Even on meds...I get really frustrated when people ask if I am having having hallucinations... of course I am. My wife has learned when I am needing some reality checks.

[pl-mnro]

Lauren, you have such a wonderful person you can lean on. Rob is more than a shadow for you who can hear and feel what you are going through. Think of Rob supporting held like a trained dog for blind people. Trust him 1000% and you will get back 1 million % of his support.

[ElleS]

I was initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder, then anxiety, depression, CPTSD.... Had a couple of psychotic breaks in 1994 and 1995. I think in order for people to understand mental disorders, we need to normalize having conversations about different symptoms, experiences we've had etc. Otherwise, people start to assume or remain ignorant and are often afraid of us, and / or look down on us for being strange or whatever.