The Art of Diplomacy

The art of diplomacy is vital if we are to get better at managing our relationships, our friendships and our working lives. None of us are born knowing how to be diplomatic, but the skill can be learnt - and should be to make life more gracious and efficient.

FURTHER READING

“Diplomacy is an art that evolved initially to deal with problems in the relationships between countries. The leaders of neighbouring states might be touchy on points of personal pride and quickly roused to anger; if they met head on, they might be liable to infuriate each other and start a disastrous war. Instead, they learnt to send emissaries, people who could state things in less inflammatory ways, who wouldn’t take the issues so personally, who could be more patient and emollient. Diplomacy was a way of avoiding the dangers that come from decisions taken in the heat of the moment. In their own palaces, two kings might be thumping the table and calling their rivals by abusive names; but in the quiet negotiating halls, the diplomat would say: ‘my master is slightly disconcerted…’…”

MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:

SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Ana Mouyis

[moriahsun]

“The diplomat is kind enough to let themselves be the target of hate”. Wow that is the best quote I have ever heard in my life.

[GreeceKelly]

EMPATHY. This is the word that describes this whole amazing video. Being a diplomat I've realized that being able to understand where someone is coming from, without judging, is crucial; and this comes from observing. When you actually OBSERVE the world around you without trying to take sides and prove that you're correct all the time, you see that people more often than not take things too personal and become emotional for many different reasons. Being objective and ready to compromise is the only way to connect with people. And the only reason why people can't seem to do that is ego. If you drop your ego and start LISTENING, things will start changing drastically.

[hennisdoffman]

A good diplomat is balanced. A great diplomat has boundaries. A legendary diplomat is a visionary. A diplomat does not people please but honors the truth above all with words that unite and bring healing.

[Nomadonthego]

Being diplomatic is how you can deal with highly defensive, egoistical people always throwing punches at you without throwing punches back! Been trying to figure this out for a while, thanks School of Life!

[SciencewithKatie]

"A small lie may have to be the guardian of a big truth" - I thought this sounded like a quote, so I googled it and found your blog! I didn't know you had a blog, but I'm glad to have found it, it's laid out really nice 😊

[Amina]

"They have given up the ideal, not out of weakness but out of a mature readiness to see compromise as a necessary requirement for getting by in a radically imperfect world."
WOW. This is definitely one of my favourite School of Life's videos!

[reneetmp]

I think this might be my favorite video from you to date.

I agree that diplomacy comes from a place of deep empathy, and a strong grasp off the objective that you're trying to achieve. The idea that diplomacy came from a place of pessimism amazed me, but it certainly makes sense because the Diplomat knows that things must be sacrificed in favor of the larger goal.

Great food for thought.

[Domdrok]

I identify a lot with this video. Some of these thoughts have run through my head. It’s cool to see them nailed down to words. I’m currently a teacher, want to be a counselor.

[ouranos]

You guys humble me time and time again with your teachings. Thank you.

[novahynes]

For me, a good diplomat is a wise, smart and empathic person. There are not many good diplomats because it's rare when one has all of the three qualities at the same time. And there is no recipe detailing how to obtain them :)

[cuearesty]

I'm highly empathic, but I can see that diplomacy isn't for me, especially when there is someone actively and deliberately antagonizing someone or myself. I see the truth of letting some lies go, or going through the act of keeping up pleasantries in order to keep peace and harmony, but when someone is just being mean for sport, or rude because of upbringing, I can see through the source because of empathy, but I cannot choose to let someone trample me or the things I love down to feed someone's ego trip.

[GenJotsu]

"Calm and comfort the chicken, before you cut off it's neck."

[anjei]

From my (hopefully diplomatic) point of view, this is without a doubt one the best videos The School has ever produced. Here’s to hoping more diplomats out there!

[urbielatenightgamingadvent]

I watch this video three times. It is a lot of info in 8 minutes video. I think that there are so much in diplomacy that no way anyone can explain it in a year. Just like how to make good friends? You tell me. But this video give out a direction and feel where to start and where our problem lies. Diplomacy is grt skill to have.

[bonnitacazares]

I feel like I need to watch this over and over untell I finally get it. Lol

[tonihaikarainen]

I summed up the meaning of being a diplomat like this: "Diplomat is someone who understands the sometimes corrupt, mean and delusional nature of human beings and strives to act from a place of empathy and serenity. He is one with everyone."

[ghostwriterscorner]

One of my fave videos from this channel. I was thinking of Captain Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek. I've always admired his diplomatic personality, but never understood how he did it. Now I get it, and I see the real wisdom behind diplomacy, and how it helps your own cause. I love that it's based on pessimism. Thank you, great video, as always.

[aifan]

Thank you The School of Life for yet another insightful, persuasive and enlightening video! Just what I needed. ♧

[lovelifelight]

My god... *removes sunglasses*
This video has accurately described me in a recent situation I've been carefully handling.
One tip, though, that's helped me become diplomatic — is to remember that "hurt people hurt people."
But this video has perfectly articulated the mind map from there!

[PRANSHU]

One of the best 10 minutes I have ever spent in my life. And I have seen a lot