How to Flirt and Get a Date - Autism Talk TV 20

I sit down with Liz Laugeson from UCLA's PEERS Program at The Help Group in Los Angeles. This is the first episode of our social skills series we filmed with the PEERS program. And the best part is that I demonstrate asking out a REAL girl!

Liz first walks me through the process of flirting which involves making eye contact, smiling, and then looking away right when the other person smiles and notices you.

Next we go over asking a girl out on a date which involves finding a common interest and suggesting something that relates to that common interest. There's more to it but i'm giving you the abridged version.

Kirsten Lindsmith does the intro for this episode.

[oliviadesign]

While I was watching this I realized that there have been several instances in my life where a guy had gotten to the point of saying "what are you doing this weekend" and every time I would make up some thing that I thought would make me sound cool so that he would keep talking to me and eventually asking me out. Not realizing that that's what was happening in the first place! LOL. No wonder I never go out on dates, I'm always giving the signal that I'm not interested. Well now I know.

[TheNerd]

When you ask "What are you doing for the weekend?"

Neurotypical response: "Oh, nothing."
Aspie response: "Oh, nothing."

Only difference: The aspie fails to notice the question wasn't just a




If I had ONLY known that

[noahbrady]

"You start by making eye contact"

Well fuck

[antiHUMANDesigns]

A number of years ago, I was getting something to drink from a bar, and a girl came up to the bar and stood somewhat near me, and eventually asked "are you having fun?", and I replied "no", and then she said "me neither". Then I ignored her for maybe 10-15 seconds, and then she walked away.
Looking back at it, I think she wanted me to suggest something, and I was a dumbass not to pick up on that. She was even "my type" as far as I can remember. (I'm an aspie, but didn't know that back then.)

[DaddysTaz]

im not on the autism spectrum at all, but im extremely introverted and shy, and this is like the most useful thing ive ever watched related to dating

[ihavetheherpes]

This was actually very helpful.I'm just worried that my lack of expression, monotone voice and difficulty looking people in the eye will show a false lack of interest. I gotta suck it up though. I've very close to turning my "disability", into an ability. Thank you, Wrong Planet!

[njintau]

You bring up a good point, that's one of the hardest things for me was to determine whether a girl is just being nice or genuinely interested. Many times, I just use the shotgun approach and ask a girl out regardless but at times, I've noticed that many times women would smile a big smile and lean towards me if interested while the body language is neutral when she's just being nice.

[HANSMKAMP]

For me it is really hard to approach a woman. I don't approach a woman if she doesn't send signals like in 1:34 (the girl switches between short looks to him and looking on her cell phone). Looking at him and smile are clear signals, giving him a green light for approaching, which the guy actually does. I am very reluctant in asking what she will do in the weekend. Asking it is somewhat intruding in her weekend plans (minding what she will do in the weekend) and not asking is lacking interest. Although I am autistic, I can apply the same skill, but I am scared to death to do it. I daren't do it. The girl or woman may think that I am not reading her signals and ignoring her.

[Jh]

What I've learned from watching videos like these is that I need to pursue hobbies that are more conducive to social interactions, rather than the ones that you can really only do by yourself. Like, I went to a comedy club a couple weeks back for their recurring open mic night. Its incredibly cheap AND the social conventions aren't to complicated. Plus, a great way to learn how neurotypicals think. I could also do more research into bands I like so I could have a conversation about them. Just a few ideas.

[TheNerd]

(Aspie finishes looking at the video)
"So that's all there is to it?"
(Starts to smash his computer down to the ground and begins to weep bitterly)
"I AM GOING TO HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH

[RoswellArea]

Finding friends and healthy romantic partners is a lot like finding paid work, volunteering, or grocery shopping. If you sleep away your life and never make the effort to socialize, you will never have the opportunity to make a difference in the community or somebody's family.

[okonhwp]

All I know about autism is it really is not good to have. I go on a date here or there (I think my first date was around 17), but basically means I don't get laid, sometimes alienate friends, don't do well in social clubs or groups, can't hold down a job (I couldn't last in either of my two stints as a substitute teacher), I almost got fired from a government job once for a weird relationship with a girl, I'm 30 and I would have been so much more successful socially, professionally, and had a a wider circle of friends if I didn't have it.

[Videogamefan]

So, this is how Chris Chan made the "first move?" Interesting.

[nickkellie]

Man this whole thing makes me feel anxious and I start sweating just watching

[danielmarquis]

I had to look at how old this was. MOST women won’t give their numbers out to strangers in 2022. The dating game has TREMENDOUSLY changed over the last ten years since this video came out.

[MicahBuzanANIMATION]

dating is awkward and confusing without autism. it largely depends on the people involved. 

[lukeallan]

Very nice video in my experience it's not only the social skills that's hindering me from trying to flirt but also the bullying or put downs person or people do by saying insults which can damage self confidence. However i have come to realisation because it is almost a normal occurrence with me cos I may also have a slight autism, you learn to live with it because you can't change people's actions. Just expressing my opinion but I love myself and my individuality. I am proud to be me.

[mimmom]

Alex Plank, you are the best! Perfect timing for my 15 year old. He has a girlfriend now. She has similar social skill difficulties, though, so I don't think she even notices Alex's differences.

[jakolu]

I wouldn't really call this flirting, more making conversation and asking someone out.

[filmerjared]

She is soo freaking gorgeous. I'd never be able to talk to her.