E87: Should Muslim Men Marry Single Moms? Multiple Wives & Divorce w. Sgt. Lourdes Loyola

Staff Sgt. Lourdes Loyola, a Muslim Mexican American convert talks about the need for Muslims to join U.S military now more than ever. How the U.S military feels towards Israel. And how Lourdes and her recently convert children have been dealing with her divorce. Lourdes and Ansari get into an awesome debate on single motherhood, polygamy and if Muslim men should marry single mothers/multiple wives. And finally, the future and psyche of the young Muslim Mexican American community, whom are the future of Muslims in America!
#muslim #women #marriage #convert #islamicpodcast

00:00 Intro
1:00 How do US Soldiers feel about Israel now?
4:15 Muslims Must Join U.S Army now more than ever!?
12:22 Lourdes Opens Up About Recent Divorce!
14:53 Has the family left Islam after Divorce?
17:23 How children deal with divorce
21:23 Heated debate on marrying multiple wives & single motherhood
28:50 Why would a Muslim Man want to Marry a Single Mother?
33:16 Should 20 year old Muslim men marry single mothers?
35:00 10 years after Converting - What's your reflections?
38:50 Muslim Mexican Community, Don't try to be Arab!
43:00 Future of Muslim Mexican Americans
45:00 Advice to Someone thinking about converting

[Particularlynosy]

Great conversation- took my shahada recently. Proud to be a Mexican Muslim ❤

[LeonardEarnshaw]

Probably unrelated, but its important to know that Perfect marriages or relationships don't exist; each one is unique. What suits Adam may not suit Peter. Nonetheless, I've learned that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were facing divorce due to challenges in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a tough period, but we survived

[ghufranshareef]

Having two wives is better than having illegal relationships with average 8 women in America alone.

[sarfrazrazvi]

May Allah Azza wajjal bless her, keep her and her family on the straight path and answer all her duas Ameen.
Very calm and humble person.

The difference between a believer and disbeliever is the practicing of the Salah.

[iNikkah]

Although I don’t agree with her stance of military participation, she is right about Muslim men marrying non Muslims- it’s a massive risk that can go horribly wrong and given that we need our sisters to be married to Muslims- we can understand her frustration may Allah grant our people righteous spouses ameen

[ChicagoAbes]

I would like to add that divorced Muslim men with children are struggling with similar problems

[moneylineparlay]

The same way poor men should not expect to marry the most beautiful women, why would they expect to have the best of the best men as older, divorcees with children?

[Rifle]

I’m a 23 year old Muslim living in the UK and married for two years. I already am open towards having a second wife. Not just for desires but the masculine urge to care for another Muslim woman. Polygamy needs to be more common to advance the Muslim society.

[samjon]

Wifing up a single mom and non Muslim potentially has bad consequences. Be careful and understand them guys before taking that decision.

[monicag]

Single moms usually have a very hard time finding a husband — perhaps single dads would be the best option for them. No sane human being wants to deal with other kids.

[agharbi]

As always, I had a wonderful time listening to @TheAnsariPodcast. Thank you Staff Sgt Lourdes Loyola for coming on I'm sure it wasn't easy to come and talk about your personal life on a podcast, but I just wanted to thank you for giving your honest feedback on the questions asked I learned a lot personally this episode was truly insightful and a little mind opening for me thank you and salaam!

[shaheermannan]

This is not the first podcast where Khadija RA is being quoted to suit their agenda but most of the Muslim pseudo-feminist uses her example as out of context and cherry-picking, to suit their agenda.
Some of the cherry-picking that I have heard from the life of the mother of believers, Khadija RA
1. She was a working business-woman, hence we should also work and mingle and then go on extending it to all sorts of un-Islamic work environments and whatnot.
2. She was a single mother and Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) was never married, hence Muslim men should marry single mothers and follow his path.

This is classic quoting out of context and cherry-picking only what suits Muslim feminists these days.
The fact is also that:
1. Khadija RA was a business woman but she never traveled or mingled with men. She used to send male members for her business and used to stay at home. She was always a pious woman.
She chose Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) who was working under her and he was not as wealthy as her. She didn't choose a businessman with 6 figure salary, having bungalow, and luxury cars and an endless list. Can feminists choose a humble and poor man??!!!
2. After marriage with Prophet PBUH she never continued with her business.
3. She was the first one to accepted the word of the Prophet when the revelation came to the Prophet (PBUH) when nobody believed him.
Khadija RA stood with Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) through all the hardship and obeyed him without a doubt. She was the best wife among all his wives.
4. She not only gave up all her money and business to charity when the Prophet (PBUH) told her so but also they chose a humble life.
5. When Khadija RA died, they didn't even have money for the funeral clothes. That was her love and conviction upon her husband, Prophet PBUH.

Therefore whenever feminists quote as a cherry-picking to suit their agenda, please read the seerah of Prophet Mohammad PBUH, please. Humble request, please do not use Islam as a tool for their whims and fancies. Say that you believe in so and so, which is fine as we all are free to our rational but please do not use Islam to justify the act.

[halalcurb]

It’s not about a man being immature when he prefers not to marry a single mother… It’s just that…his PREFERENCE. Just as a woman typically has a preference for taller, or stronger men than herself, or a higher earner than herself why is it that a woman is encouraged and applauded (“yass queen”) for demanding a certain type of man and “not settling” whereas a man (as exhibited by the sister here) is shamed into abandoning his preferences at the expense of being implicitly labeled as immature. How humiliating. The sister is tone deaf as it relates to men and needs to recalibrate her expectations as any potential suitor would have to face the cold reality of when courting a single mother (with three kids no less) that he will FOREVER be in fourth place de facto. The way she indirectly criticizes being a second wife as if being a second wife is a form of subjugation and humiliation is absolutely appalling. she says, “Why should I be a second wife just because I have three children why can’t I be a first wife?” her statement implies that being a second wife is some sort of relegation to second class citizenship. With her toxic anitislamic worldview therefore I wonder how she would estimate Aisha who was a SECOND WIFE HERSELF as Nabi sws was married to Suada at the time of their marriage? In the final analysis, being a second wife isn’t a subjugation as the sister would imply but rather it’s a respectable choice as a function of our preferences IN THE SAME WAY as a man shouldn’t be shamed into marrying a single mom at the risk of being labeled as IMMATURE. Smh

[barolehamid]

Dear sister, I have been following you since you embraced Islam, I admire you and have a lot of respect for you, I agree with your speech in the interview, I like your very clear and simple ideas. I wish you can achieve and achieve everything you desire, inshaAllah and may Allah bless you and your three beloved children. (from Italy)

[Davkal-hn]

Muslim women are super strong. Our sisters are very inspiring. The Muslim woman is a symbol of strength and freedom and hope

[ShaznaAli-mx]

Great words of wisdom from sister! She carved away intelligently her responses upholding the integrity of single mothers connecting with islamic rulings & values . May Allah guide her and her kids, bless them abundantly with all the goodness .

[Djellal]

Best options for her is to either accept being a second wife or be with a single father. She cannot afford to be picky let’s be realistic common now

[cefev]

I'm Mexican and Muslim too. In a way, I feel disgusted by Redpill channels, which have done more harm than good. But dear sister... please... You have lost a lot of chances of being picky. Be realistic, or be alone, but do not play this game as if you were in your 20's, with no kids. It doesn't work that way. One would rather help raise a nephew, because he at least has half of your own blood, rather than help someone else's sons.

[LouisaLouisa-ng]

Im a son of a single mom, father deceased.... May Allah grant them jannah both... My mom never remarried because she puts us first.... Its a big sacrifice youre not necessarily willing to My advise, the solution is in the middle, marry someone as a second wife.... Youll meet him only in the weekends, he wont interfere nor have the chance to be abusive to them, i know its your fear... And they wont abuse him neither, they will rarely meet, no reason to be any conflict of interest.... You can even decide not to have children, if he already And thus you can be provided for financially, emotionnally and you have a man in case you when your children will leave the house you can settle, half time with you half time with other wife.... I dont Everyone is happy

[JuNi]

First time listener/consumer. MashaAllah I enjoyed this podcast. Subscribed. Allah bless you.