Our lonely society makes it hard to come home from war | Sebastian Junger

Sebastian Junger has seen war up close, and he knows the impact that battlefield trauma has on soldiers. But he suggests there's another major cause of pain for veterans when they come home: the experience of leaving the tribal closeness of the military and returning to an alienating and bitterly divided modern society. "Sometimes, we ask ourselves if we can save the vets," Junger says. "I think the real question is if we can save ourselves."

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more.

[prestonross]

"Everybody loves a soldier until he comes home"

[michaelkaybecker]

From an Afghan infantry vet - this man has done more for me, helping understand my emotions and issues, than any therapist I've been to. Thank you.

[SubvertTheState]

I didn't get PTSD from Iraq, but what this man is talking about I've experienced 100%. The feeling of not being able to count on anyone.

[cluckendip]

"This is the country they fought for. No wonder they're depressed."

[philliplopez]

Being a soldier was never the problem... quitting nearly killed me.

[wildchild]

This man is amazing. His book "Tribe" influenced my senior project so heavily. I reached out to him and he answered every question I had and gave me feedback on my paper. He is by far my favorite nonfiction author

[jacmar]

This guy has a point. I haven't even been in any military, but I still see what he is talking about. Most relations that people have with each other now are shallow and sort of half arsed. Most of my neigbours never even talked to me, people in universities often spend years seeing each other in lectures and never come to know each other. Just try organizing something nowadays, anything, a party or a casual sports meet. You'll get plenty of "maybe" and plenty of "yes's" for them to stand you up. Even people who are supposedly friend don't trust each other. All of society has become somehow alienated and awkward. Its just bloody almighty sad.

[jade]

Just leaving the military and "rejoining" society is alienation. I'm still trying to come back into society after being out for 6 months and i'm still finding it difficult. The only common ground i found was going back to college where i met other vets like me who were feeling the same way.

[blazeesq]

As a vet, and this is just my opinion. I have a whole different idea of what an emergency is than my civilian loved ones and friends. And I see people panicking all over the place, or stressing out, or complaining. Very few things are an actual emergency.

[tagg]

As a British veteran I never before heard of this guy until just now... But I love him!!! This guy really gets it, he truly does....

[tbrowniscool]

This is why when I watch a documentary about tribes I come away feeling that I wish I was one of them.

[TannerW]

This man is speaking straight up truth. I got out of the military last year and have been lonely ever since, no matter how much i try to reach out to people, they always seem to have a reason to not spend time together. If i dont reach out to people I probably wont get a text or message for a couple of days. It wasnt like that in my unit. On the weekends it was very rare to go more than a couple of hours without someone knocking on my barracks door seeing if i wanted to do something. And it didnt even have to be anything necessarily special. It was “hey bud you wanna go to walmart with me?” Or “i just picked up a pizza and some beer, you should come over to my room and chill”. You get out, and it’s like all of that goes away. Everyone is just doing their own thing and you just feel kind of pushed to the side.

[dannyrowleyyt]

One of the best TED Talks I've seen. No pretentious hyperbole, not making the talk about themselves - much better standard than others recently.

[JasonFavrod]

strong families = strong communities = strong nation

[Alex_gee_white]

"I put my life on the line for these assholes?"

-veterans

[Farticus]

This man's book "Tribe - On Homecoming and Belonging" saved my life. He has been saying what veterans' cannot put into words, and I am truly grateful for his contributions.

OIF/OEF Veteran USMC

[kingkobra]

Everybody is lonely in a sea of humanity ..except small tribal communities

[matthewence]

Even though I have a wonderful relationship with my wife and children, I never understood why I wanted to go back to Afghanistan until I listened to Sebastian Junger and read his book, Tribe. I highly recommend.

[jonprieto]

that was one of the best talks on PTSD I have ever witnessed

[censoreverything]

I can’t even begin to express how important this talk was. I was told I had PTSD and yet I have never seen half of the stuff that Marine grunts or Army infantry did. Sure, there were things that happened, but not everyone has a singular traumatic event they can look back on and point to for the source of their maladjustment or depression. I’ve been out for three years. Whatever short-term PTSD I may have had has largely gone away, and yet out of nowhere I’ll get so depressed. I never felt insane due to those symptoms, because I did understand where they were coming from. I only felt insane once those symptoms subsided and I still found myself crying alone over not a specific event, but over the military itself. It’s hard to comprehend. I cry over the idea of never meeting new people and making that connection, because instead I got out of the military and left them behind. I felt more of a sense of loss over people I hadn’t met than over people I see every day back home. Because even if I never met them, we were still bonded. As years have gone by, I may have become more functional as an civilian, but I’ve become more angry and bitter in general. And I know it’s because of this transition between societies. I feel like I gave being a civilian a shot and I’m just done. I’ve been looking to reenlist and I want to deploy again. When I say that, it FEELS like I’m saying “I want to go home.”