Psychological flexibility: How love turns pain into purpose | Steven Hayes | TEDxUniversityofNevada

What can we do to prosper when facing pain and suffering in our lives? More than a thousand studies suggest that a major part of the answer is learning psychological flexibility. Steven C. Hayes is one of the researchers who first identified that process and put it into action in the form of a popular acceptance and mindfulness method called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In this emotional talk, Hayes distills the essence of psychological flexibility down into a few easy to understand sentences. He takes viewers through a harrowing journey into his own panic disorder, to the very moment in his life when he made this life changing choice: I will not run from me. Hayes shows how making that choice allows us to connect with our own deep sense of meaning and purpose, arguing that taking a loving stance to your own pain allows you to bring love and contribution into the world.

Steven C. Hayes is Nevada Foundation Professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada. An author of 38 books and more than 540 scientific articles, he has shown in his research how language and thought leads to human suffering, and has developed “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy” a powerful therapy method that is useful in a wide variety of areas. His popular book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life” was featured in Time Magazine among several other major media outlets and for a time was the number one best selling self-help book in the United States. Dr. Hayes has been President of several scientific societies and has received several national awards, such as the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy.

[suebee]

To quote Dr. Steven Hayes: "In your pain you find your values and in your values you find your pain." A mantra to live by. Thank you for your knowledge, your wisdom, your courage, and your abundant love.

[BenjiSchoendorff]

Steven Hayes' work changed my life and the life of many of the clients I work with as a psychologist. I hope many people can see this inspiring talk.

[stevenchayesphd]

If you are a TED fan, I have an interview coming out sometime this week (3rd week of May, 2020) on Susan David's TED podcast ("Checkin In"). Early on, Susan saw the relevance of ACT concepts to business and coaching and has been doing a great job describing what the science shows in ways that reaches normal folks. Her podcast is especially relevant to us as a human community in this COVID era and its worth following. We had a super time exploring some of the work that I describe in my new book, A Liberated Mind, and linking it to the challenges of COVID ... worth checking out.

[ttrenchmiranda]

My therapist watched this with me on one of our sessions, and it was very very important to me. I was at the peak of my panic attacks, not too far from suicide.

Thanks, Steve.

[OfficialJabberwocky]

This is one of the most powerful speeches I have ever heard.

[funkymunky]

"I stood up, inside a promise: 'I will not run from me.'"

[samspira]

wow, after this speech I actually enjoy spending more time with my anxious thoughts and childhood memories than my cigarette. thanks Mr Hayes

[Lovelyballeriina]

"Cause love isn't eveything, it's the only thing".


Thank you for this talk!

[bozbicidianamaria]

ACT saved me from drowning in OCD. Words cannot express how grateful I am for your work (and soul).

[antiquemacabre]

I am in tears right now watching this. That little 8-year-old boy is my little 9-year-old girl. Never has anything resonated so deeply in me. I needed this right now in this moment in my life. I've lost years of my life to panic attacks, depression, and agoraphobia stemming from trauma and have had such difficulty with self-compassion. I'm finally seeing a therapist, and we have discussed exploring mindfulness and acceptance. This just made up my mind.

[Silent_Spaces]

'There is something really important inside an anxiety struggle, that can lift up a human life' - One of my favorite Steven Hayes quotes.

[Linda-crlq]

Your talk made me cry...tears of understanding, acceptance, sadness, remembrance, and hope. Thank you dear man.

[Chilloutbeing]

Thank you for your vulnerability dr Hayes. Your courage to speak your truth and be authentic is really moving for me.

[scottwalker]

Following Hayes ACT principles is exactly as easy as losing weight and getting in shape. If you do the work, you'll get the results. If you don't do the work but just listen to talks like this, you may feel encouraged about the possibilities, but you will never experience the changes.

[AlbyLibra]

THIS IS EXTRAORDINARY.
THIS IS SALVIFIC.
THIS IS A BLESSING
THIS IS ME.
THIS IS ALL OF US.
This is Love.
THANK YOU

[sleepdealer]

@17:36 “Because we hurt where we care and we care where we hurt.”

[mdgkzou]

I'm a student studying psychology in Korea. I want to say thank you deeply because when I was severely suffered from obsession an unwanted thought, your messages in ACT and RFT literally healed me. You changed the way I view myself.  This video also impressed me a lot. I realized personal experience, especially the painful ones must be the best tutor for those who study psychotherapy. I feel said about the fact that there are not many chance to join your or ACT related workshop and not many books have been translated yet(zero RFT books written in korean yet T-T), I'm walking forward one step at a time to learn ACT and Life. Thanks again and I hope to see you someday.

[bobhill]

9:11 My father made that sound about 25 years ago during argument with my mother when she was giving him a hard time while all he was trying to do was run, fight, hide from anxiety. She obviously did not understand that. Now I know exactly what that was.

[funkymunky]

Feel it to heal it. Name it to tame it.

[donnar]

So beautiful, so courageous, and so compassionate. Thank you, Steve, for taking us so deeply into your experience and giving us a bridge into our own deep selves. I cried and found my own pain in yours. Bless you always.