When did you realize that your childhood was not normal? #redditstories #storytime #story

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal? #redditstories #storytime #story

[BeautifullyResilient]

The thing is your realization hurt you, but it allowed you to break the cycle. You should be proud.

[GJ]

"When all you know is neglect, it's normal to you."
I felt that. I used to get really angry when therapists told me I was suffering from abuse. I couldn't understand why they'd said that, until I started watching other families with their kids.

[Nighthawk-]

loss, neglect, never in the same place, lonely, abused, yet i still live free today, with more knowledge about life than most. my life is bazar.

[lelamartin]

When I was 20, I was diagnosed with extreme depression and anxiety that seemed to be triggered by nothing, and I started going to therapy in order to start working through it so I could take back control of my life. One of the first things my therapist did was ask how my relationship was with my parents growing up, and, after admitting that it hadn't been the best, I was asked to go into detail. The story that seemed to bother my therapist the most was how my grandma and mother always fought over me, leading to small acts of defiance from my grandma in order to make me feel safer when I was staying with her any chance she got. One of these acts of defiance was letting me watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, something I had enjoyed for days when it happened, but I started growing visibly anxious the more I watched it. At the time, I thought it was due to the scene where Quirrel had killed the unicorn and almost attacked Harry before the centaur saved him being too scary for my young mind, but, when I told my therapist how I got so scared that I begged to call my mother and confessed watching an unapproved movie that scared me, the therapist looked shocked and asked me if I had always been scared of my mother and the way she made herself seem omnipotent in order to impose her authority. That's when I started to remember the way my mother used to terrify me by acting like she could hear theough walls no matter how quiet you got, how she always appeared at the moment any of my sisters or I did something we weren't supposed to, and how she always reminded us that she was watching and would catch us doing something bad. For me, it was a normal thing that made sure my sisters and I behaved, but, to someone on the outside looking in, my mother basically made herself appear to be some vengeful god who used fear and manipulation to make sure we behaved how she saw fit, and she had even used it to force me to take fault in anything that went wrong around the house so that her taking her anger out on me and punishing me for anything that went wrong, even if it was my sisters' fault, not mine, seemed justified.

I ended up going NC a few years later when I noticed that, even as an adult, nothing had changed, and I was still blamed for anything that happened in the immediate family. By that time, I was at a somewhat healthier point in my life, and I had my husband and in-laws, all of whom knew how my mother was and were always looking out for me because they knew that she still got into my head from time to time.

[wadeunderhile]

As a kid I hated the leave it to beaver show, but I never missed an episode, I was so jealous, because beaver had a dad who was even handed he actually talked to his son and reasoned with him. My dad was almost always out of control his answer to everything was a belt, he would cut the blood out of you. Are terminology. It took me decades to forgive him. Then I found out that his dad treated him even worse.😢

[SarutaValentine]

I relate to this more than I would like to. I knew my life wasn’t normal for a while by this point, but when I startled a therapist with my childhood stories I knew it was worse than I thought it was

[KingDeadMan]

I've always known my childhood wasn't quite normal, but what got me, was my mother laughingly telling her friend that I was graped by a group of girls at my first & last ever sleepover.

I was playing my game in the living area, then automatically tuned into what she was saying, while she had been in the kitchen. I started to recogize the details of what she was saying, as memories started to flood my mind. I disengaged from Gran Turismo Sport (car game), crashing the vehicle, and my jaw on the floor.

I called out to her a few times, and without me even addressing the contents she was flapping her gums about, her response was "I thought you knew", as if that excused her laughing & telling someone a story that wasn't hers to share in the first place.

[bobbiefrank]

I'm so sorry that happened to you hope your aunt loved and supported you through your emotions and hope you get the care and love that you deserve😊❤

[biancafriesen]

I'm so sorry this happened, hoping and praying that God comforts you! God bless 🥰

[laniibearrii]

This is how I feel when I see little girls be close w their dads i get so jealous it’s lowk embarrassing like 2 months ago my dad had said “I love you” and that made me cry so fucking much he’s never said that before so it was jst a lot

[CrowAkechi_The_Luminary]

My parents never bathed me to my knowledge but they did hire someone to do that, maybe they did once or twice but I cant remember because they were too busy to ever really afford time with me except at night, but honestly, I dont think my parents were neglectful but I can somewhat understand this, it is painful to be neglected and alone

[shirleyfinster]

I don't remember ever being bathed or having my hair dried - but then, babies forget a lot. Unless something unusual happens to make a moment memorable, it's just " business as usual" - and easily forgotten. I'm guessing there were other red flags too, for you to have such a strong reaction.

[constancestrawn]

Oof, feelin that last sentence. If you've never known love, it doesn't hurt so bad to be without. Once you have seen what it can be like and all the years of emptiness hits

[denedennie]

I had a similar epiphany when I was a child. I was never cuddled, never hugged, my mother never brushed my hair.

[emilythebunnie]

Thank you, my mother abused and neglected me. Then when my siblings came along I became parent. The only time I ever remember my mother doing anything self care wise, was when she taught me how to brush my teeth, she handed me a brush with toothpaste then said brush your teeth before promptly leaving the bathroom back to her computer. It’s small things I never thought until afterwards, when I was younger I thought it was normal. I was the oldest I needed to take care of my siblings, only natural to clean a two year olds puke at three in the morning because your mom woke you up to do it. Many feelings of loss and grief of a childhood never had, years of nonexistent self esteem or self-worth. Never will I have my child know the absence of love.

[LexKaiNix]

The first time I told people at school how my siblings treated me and the NSPCC got called to my house.
My mother made me lie and tell them I made it up for attention.
I wish they’d taken me away.

[judem]

My mother washed my hair every week and pulled it so hard that I cried all the way through it. She broke her arm and asked the neighbor to wash my hair. It didn't hurt. I was stunned.

[tiffles]

I would say don’t blow dry the hair because heat damage but all else is great. My goddaughter had her hair highlighted/dyed and it was always blow dried and I had to use heavy duty moisturizers from the black hair care section to detangle it because of the massive damage done to her hair

[CrankyBtsch]

This just made me realise that my car needs a good cleaned up

[Vg]

I have always done what I see other people doing for their kids I teach self how to care for son he is my first he is awesome they tough I had the most loving parents that is why I been loving and cuddle my babies nope parents were horrible my dad try to kill me once I got my ass beat so bad by my mom i could not move then my father hit me whit a broom stick they hit me I made it stop I run away to the usa I thought my life be chage it did not got worst every year the loving husband I had treated me worst and worst but it was after him going to mexico to visit his family and mine he told me I could kill you and noone cares 😢