Who Are We To You? | Relationships with Dissociative Identity Disorder

EEntitleDID to Life Information

Get Entropical Fish merch!

Support us on Patreon!

Visit the System Pride Day website!

Send mail!
P.O. Box 540756
Omaha, Ne
68154-0756

[lydiakies]

This is kind of like the "who's driving the car" analogy that Multiplicity and Me uses.... It's helpful for those of us who are Singletons understand. And it's super cool.

Treat you all like different people...because you are.

[GamerGrl]

💧This is your reminder to 🥤 drink a glass of water!💧

[ParanormalNewsToday]

Oh boy, thank you for touching on this subject. Since our diagnosis, this has been on our minds ALOT.
Fortunately, we have a very understanding and supportive wife (err... at least some of us) who treats everyone as individuals. BUT... the line can be really fuzzy at times. We can remember one night a few months in (to our diagnosis- we've been married for 6 years) when we were attempting to explain Blending and Fronting. She asked "so who is up front now?" All we could really do is wave our hands helplessly. The Host or Core is very difficult to determine for us. Who came first? Does that person still exist? Is the Host/Core an alter? We're still not certain, and it can make things... difficult.

Our Littlest looks on her as a friend rather than a mom, due to trauma reasons.
We have one alt who is female and older than the body. Our wife treats her as a grandmother figure(ish).
We have one who is female and a pre-teen with an attitude. Our wife sees her as any mother would see a pre-teen.
We have our Gatekeeper/Recorder, who has little to no emotion at all. He is more a 'friend' to our wife, but is virtually always up front or blending. Always watching, always recording, always looking for patterns that might indicate danger.
We have our "Do The Job" alt, who fronts when there is something to get done and that's ALL he's interested in. Anything or anyone else is just an irritant. He's... an ass. Our wife tolerates him but has begun to learn how to manage him and his very brusque (rude) nature.
And then there is the Host/Core... who is actually married to our/in love with our wife.

Then there is another... person... who takes care of the 'intimate' relations. Our Gatekeeper and Core stay blended with him at ALL TIMES.
This is obviously a touchy area for all systems and very closely related to trauma- and it's not something that we've seen any channels really address... but it's the elephant in the room. It can be very difficult to walk that thin line between intimacy and being triggered and we have to be very careful that everyone is in their proper place in the headspace. Littles asleep and blocked off, those who are not involved in that way pre-occupied with whatever, ect.

Our wife knows this as we have been very candid with her and has been very accepting of it, which helps- because like it or not, physical affection is still part of any healthy long term relationship and it can be extraordinarily difficult to manage- especially with DID in the picture. How do you tell your loved one that you don't want to be touched by ANYONE most of the time and still stay close? It's got to hurt. But we keep trying, if only for her sake.

Sorry if that got too personal, but it's an integral part of life with a system and has been one of the most challenging things for us to address.
We're certain that we're not the only system with those issues to deal with either, so maybe by our (tactfully) explaining how we manage might help someone?

As always, THANK YOU for what you do and dedicating your time, energy and forks.

[chaoticpyro]

I definitely needed this video! Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 6 months and she has DID and i dont. So seeing other peoples relationships with your system is nice and the advice is super helpful!

[Fofrin]

a car....with (x) amount of drivers. Each driver has their own driving habits. And each person in the shotgun seat will react differently to the the driving habits of the driver. What music does the driver want? Does the driver want to talk to the navigator?, etc.

[loccoco]

Please start calling us singletons from now on, that is hilarious!

[leedraconis]

I always love watching videos with Kim Kim, idk she just grabs my attention and calms me at the same time lol

[WeAreAlexandra]

We're also married and we totally relate to both how complicated it can be and how wonderful our spouse is/was about it! Things got a lot easier though when we found out our spouse was also a system ^^'

[robertoandrade]

I find it funny that system pride day is on my birthday and it makes me so happy to share my birthday with such an awesome celebration.

[SoToxicEmber]

We appreciate your videos so much, all 12 of us, My name is Ruby, Garnet, Terra, Nikki, Alex, Anna, Nick, Cog, Kyanna, Emma, Jada and Bridget, we love you guys so much and appreciate your videos, I just recently told my friend about my DID and even sent him your educational videos and he essentially called me a liar, it hurt but I’m not alone I do have a partner who’s Amazing and you guys to watch when I’m feeling down, my gf has DID as well and we’re lucky to have eachother, my gf had actually fully Merged together but she understands me and we both love your content

[liammcguigan]

Hey, I’ve recently started seeing someone who’s part of a system, and this is really helpful to know. My girlfriend (host) recommended your channel along with a few others. Thank you for this, I’ll be coming back a lot.

[ryanholland]

recently got tested for DID by request of my therapist, and watching this really helped. i've been worried about what'll happen if i am diagnosed, feeling like i'm going to be alone forever, but seeing you all have successful relationships is giving me hope <3 thank you for doing what you do

[vitisvinifera]

I have a close friend with DID and we don't use the term alter, we just say people, and refer to them as being multiple rather than a singleton like myself. I have a different relationship with each person, but it's definitely like we are all part of one family, because we all talk about each other with one another (not in negative ways). Most of the people within my friend's system are children, so when I'm talking with adults or older kids we share affectionate tales about what some little one said or did (either outside or inside). There is a lot of humor actually. Someone made an inside elephant and is regretting making it so anatomically accurate that it craps on everything; or somebody has been secretly eating the flying bread-and-butterflies (toasts made into butterflies as in Alice in Wonderland) and this furtive chomping is infuriating someone else. Or, as an outside example, I'm talking on the phone to a child and she tells me she can't reach her bottle of water because an adult in the system put it up on a high shelf earlier. :)

I will say, when you're close with someone with DID it can be sad that there is really never enough time to check in with everyone you would like to. I literally miss people, all the time, that I haven't talked to in days or even weeks. And I know it's hard on them too. In my friend's case I can say something like, "I told so-and-so we could talk today, " and then the person who I'm currently chatting with can plan that at the end of our conversation they should perhaps get that person -- unless, say, someone else is really upset. We all try to be as considerate as we can be, and we are, but there is only so much time.

[RialVestro]

The weird thing about disassociating a lot is having a warped sense of time like System Pride Day is happening again, already, really? I feel like that just happened like three months ago. Has it really been a full year already?

[andizana]

This is awesome! I didnt know system pride was a thing and now i feel so happy and included

[MrMalloryscarlett]

Ok, not gunna lie, hanging with a system sounds like a fricken blast.

[marissaclifford]

You are such a beautiful system inside and out. Good examples and descriptions on singleton and DID relationships it totally makes sense. Glad to learn more about the relationships in your system. I don't have a friend with DID now but could be helpful for me in the future.

[suzyvanderkarr]

The friends at the apartment analogy is fabulous! Thank you 😊

[eggyboi]

This is my first time back to the channel in a while and it's super awesome to see their face claims now. It makes it a lot easier to understand each individual in the system.

[kendallgiilck]

If you feel comfortable, it would be great if you could talk about how the individual alters feel about physical touch. For example, if Wyn's husband were to her hand and Daniel suddenly got triggered out or became co-conscious, would this cause a problem? How do you as individuals, and a system, deal with it? Totally understandable if this isn't something you want talk about publicly! But it's something we deal with so perhaps other systems do as well.

-22 and 26