NOOK LINE & SINKER | Animal Crossing: New Horizons Song!

In Nintendo's Animal Crossing: New Horizons you are once more tasked with guiding a gaggle of fuzzy friends to prosperity via the medium of hunting for insects, gathering seashells and making polite conversation.

It's certainly not something I'd typically make a song about... Until someone pointed out to me that you are beholden to a corrupt capitalist raccoon! Sure he SAYS all that money goes to an orphanage... But can he PROVE it?

To those of you hoping for the Doom Eternal song I had been teasing, sadly the project has been delayed. But it is on the way! With the unprecedented global situation right now, the video shoot had to be cancelled. I'm currently working on adapting the video into something I can make from home with my more limited space and equipment.

It's a scary world out there right now. Stay safe and make good choices everyone. We'll get through it.

#AnimalCrossing #NewHorizons

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Check out the full Stupendium originals playlist for all of my original songs!

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Lyrics, Vocals and Video by The Stupendium
Additional background painting by Dan Hamman
Beat produced by Tunna Beatz
Mastering by Oxygen Beats
Additional video editing by Lizzy CJ

Animal Crossing, its world and its characters are the property of Nintendo.

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The Stupendium is a musician, animator and content creator, creating weird, wonderful and usually incredibly nerdy songs and animations. Join them on their journey to obscure, niche internet stardom! They have some pretty decent videos, wonderful facial hair and a great sense of discomfort describing themself in the third person.

[TheStupendium]

LYRICS:

They say of the fable that businessmen croon
That dog may eat dog but he pays the raccoon
Filling up the coffers billing up the otters, watching them squirm
Yes lions and tigers and bears owe my firm
I've made mountains from founding these half-finished villages
Rundown little towns that I fill up with idiots
Declare one the mayor, flare their ego a little bit
Charge them with fixing it then charge for the privilege
You buy land at high deposit when I drop profitable hovels on it
Each island is like a wallet ‘cus I got the whole place in my pocket
You crank the land value with every little bit of spit and polish
If I get a better tenant than you, well thank you, everything’s demolished
It's about time I took some more payments from your good selves
I'm just balancing the books but I'm still waiting on the bookshelves
You promised you'd build me once you'd patched the fence
Don't like it? Then bill me, I'll just add it to the rent.


Never seen a game so twee
But there's administration fees
For this little haven we
Chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully
Slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back
Of our New Horizon

Raccoon in a tie that racked up a tycoon
Can't handle my mess? You'd best stick with Splatoon.
You'll be knee deep in seashells before we hit noon
And that's hardly a dent in the debt you've accrued
You may wonder why we keep moving around
The houses you buy aren't that structurally sound
A few years will lapse, they collapse to the ground
And these suckers cough up for another new tow
You call me amoral? Is that what you think?
Well at least I’ve not driven my assistant to drink
Poor dear little Isabelle is caught in a living hell
It's fishing and yard work not building a citadel
Overworked, underpaid, that poor little Shih Tzu
Managing a bunch of animals, I guess it really is a–
I Guess you see the pun there
Some mayor you turned out to be, if I do say so
How fitting, in a town full of critters the only human's the scapegoat

Never seen a game so twee
But there's administration fees
For this little haven we
Chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully
Slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back
Of our New Horizon

Extortion has seldom been so inoffensive
No matter the tax and whatever the rent is
They flock and they herd just to pay their expenses
With no picket lines 'cept a few garden fences
Read between the lines and you might find the margins
So eat up the jargon, don’t argue the bargains
Or I’ll add a ‘No Pets’ clause, it wouldn’t be hard and
I’ll have every resident live in the garden


Never seen a game so twee
But there's administration fees
For this little haven we
Chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully
Slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back
Of our New Horizon

[danbull]

This was supposed to be our happy place 😭

[tn_]

“How fitting in a town full of critters that the only human is the scapegoat.”
THIS LINE.
GOLD.

[KirboYT]

This honestly sounds like a badass Disney villain song, which fits for a Nintendo game

[ari]

I know this song isn't one of your newest anymore, but I came to say that I think it contains my favourite line that you've ever performed. I know it's not technically impressive or challenging like some of your others, but this one just sticks in my head like glue.

"Or I’ll add a ‘No Pets’ clause, it wouldn’t be hard
and I’ll have every resident... live... in the garden!"

It has such a gleeful malice and is almost mad-with-power in the delivery, such effective dramatic pauses, and of course is set up perfectly to rhyme with 'yard' only to switch to garden like the little yorkshire critter he is. I lost it the first time I heard this part of the song, and every time I've listened since I still get a big dumb grin on my face. Thank you <3

Oh, and congrats on coming out! They/them is a great set of pronouns if I do say so myself

[AnOriginalBreakfast]

OK IS NOBODY GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW THE BEAT IS THE SOUNDS OF COINS DROPPING? THE DETAIL ON THIS SONG IS AMAZING

[Phobiaphbic]

Are we just gonna ignore the phonetic genius of “Raccoon in a tie that racked up a tycoon”?

[theheadacheking]

Fun fact: the orphan fund is real, Tom just didn't tell you which orphan it was going to (hint: Timmy and Tommy have no grandparents.)
(Edit: To be clear, I'm saying Tom's the orphan)

[lucyhart]

I love how the animation is like a puppet show which just shows the façade that Tom Nook is putting on. They did such a good job! Well done, Stupes.

[al_x]

The Stupendium is the only guy who can make a family friendly game like Animal Crossing and making a fan song sound serious without it being edgy. Plus, the song slaps.

[aboutftunder]

Fun fact: In the end card “Nook” says he donates to an orphanage. I don’t know if The Stupendium actually knows it, or if it’s a coincidence, but in the lore of Animal Crossing, it’s revealed he actually has a wing (hallway) of an orphanage named after him because he donates there so much. He isn’t evil in my opinion but this song is amazing.

[AmranAziz-cg]

Tom: Don't shake empty trees if you want to get away from bees
Give me my money on time or ill break your knees.

[applebm]

I can’t think of Tom with any other voice his voice is just perfect for Tom

[spicyair]

"in a town full of animals, the only human is the scapegoat." Bro

[gamedifficulty_]

As far as I’m concerned, Tom Nook having this voice is now canon

[Screens]

I don't know how you did it. But I love how you voiced Tom Nook. Snarky, to the point and with a hint of narcissism.
*PERFECTION! PERFECTION I TELL YOU!*

[lasagna]

Every single line in this song is so cleverly crafted, it’s incredible.

[Hanhan-fidr]

This feels like a good Disney villain song.
No like, not "oh this is kind of like a villain song"
No I mean, I could imagine this being the actual song for a villain in an actual full movie. It's that high quality. Good work, my man! Good work!

[mossybro]

Everyone: *talking about the song*
Me: THIS ANIMATION STYLE IS FIRE

[-inFinity-]

Dang, really making us the villains here. Everyone blames Nook for Isabelle being overworked, but she’s straight up our employee.