🥀 lost purity // a soft vent/comfort playlist

0:00 frakkur: 4;01 - sigur ros
2:41 estranger - jack stauber
4:14 fallen down (reprise)
6:45 glass chime - inoyamaland
10:12 dramamine - flawed mangoes
13:40 cold - flawed mangoes
17:00 it was only temporary 2 u (super slowed)
19:17 mice on venus but extra nostalgic

[humbloom]

the first song is legit childhood innonence in a nutshell.

[the_confetti_cupcake]

aww, poor kitty.
i hope it didn’t feel the same way i felt
i hope it’s just sleepy and not sad .
let’s try and make kitty happy,
i want kitty to be ok

[Kai]

yall ı do NOT wanna ruın the mode but ı genıuenly thought the playlıst saıd ''lost PURRıty''

[Ilove_kittensrealnocap]

why are humans so cruel yet innocent at the same time?

[yillingjie]

i feel so bad, disgusting even. i feel less than human because i will never be pure again, but deep down i know i never was. i can't help but want to cope, to be a child again, to act immature and cute for other people. but why i keep turning things sexual? why does my brain do this? why does my own body do this? i never asked for that to happen that day, i never wanted that i was just scared i would lose my only friend. i miss being the innocent pure child i never got to be.

[DizZyL.]

I still wonder somedays if I'm still innocent, or if I'm lying to myself.
Loosing ones innocence as a child is like loosing a bit of yourself.

[-Whatisthis-]

This actually makes me realize that I've been Sa'd by 3 boys. One by my brother for 2 years until he thankfully stopped, my dad who did it twice recently, and by a man that lived in my house for 3 years. No person should go through any of this. My childhood was sadly taken away when I was only 4

[astrainverse]

I hope I could someday live knowing tomorrow is a promise, not a threat.

[fieldofhills]

why did I get introduced to all that stuff so early… why, when I was 7. it’s sad… I’m 21 now and I want to be pure again so bad. but I know I can’t. not anymore

[MalkinsonS]

There are bits of steak stuck in my teeth. My tongue flicks at it, trying desperately to get it out. The texture irritates me, but all is well. My bed is comfortable, It is the weekend, and I have no worries. My eyes swirl as I stare at my popcorn ceiling, thoughts running through them. My room is a mess, just like my mothers even if she swears it's all important to her. Piles of useless items, a ton of my old clothing, a collection of beanie babies; all of them stacked up in her lowly room. She tells my doctor I struggle to focus every time we go there. I don't think i struggle with focusing. The doctor tells her that she's gonna give me medicine for it. It makes me feel dread, I hate taking pills. I won't have to though, my mother takes them for me. My mother yells at me a lot, I don't blame her. My mother is stressed. My mother works a lot. She's trying, she's trying and that's all that matters. My friends at school ask me why I smell bad and why I wear the same clothing every day. I don't know why. I don't know why but I never noticed it before. My curls are tough with tangles and dandruff, my clothing is stained and dirty. It wasn't ever something I noticed. These two boys always call me fat. My mother always told me I was beautiful, I don't think i'm ugly but whenever they say things like that it makes me feel bad. I don't know why. I hate not knowing things, I feel stupid. I ask stupid questions and I say stupid things that don't make sense. My friends always talk about boys. I don't know why they do. Why don't we talk about something fun? Why are our conversations centered around their crushes. I've never had a crush before so I don't know what to talk about with them. My birthday is coming up but my mother hasn't spoken to me today. Usually all she talks about is my birthday whenever the week of it comes up. I haven't seen her today. She hasn't even said good morning to me. My feet drag across the gross carpet and I reach up to my mothers doorknob. The handle felt cold and once I touched it, I felt fear. I twisted it anyways, fear never stopped me. No, it never did. Though, the sight in front of me did. My mother's room was a mess like usual, her T.V was on. I stood in the doorway with that innocent glare on my freckled face. My mother was sleeping on the floor with some medicine in her hand. I don't understand my mother, I don't know why she was sleeping on the floor and not her bed. I lightly shook her shoulder, she didn't wake up though. My mother was always a very deep sleeper.




If it doesn't make a lot of sense to you i'm sorry. It's based on parts of my childhood.

[denshatoneko]

I was just 8.

I was innocent and pure. a christian. yet those acts destroyed my innocence. forcing me to cope in disgusting ways. I'm addicted to this feeling of pleasure to the point it's disgusting. I want to cry every night knowing that I can't get rid of this sexual want. I want more. I'm a child. I'm 9 then 10 then 11 then 12 yet its still there.. after I finish with myself i'm always asking and crying alone in my room

" Why the hell am I doing this? "

It's pleasure, I remind myself. Yet its so horrifically satisfying.. It brings me guilt.

Why do I feel these emotions? I was just a child when I found out all about this.. It aches.. I want to seek more pleasure, I want everything again. It's a bad pleasure. But my mind can't process it's bad. Pleasure is good, right? Pleasure ruined me. I hate myself. I hate what happened to me. Yet my mind can't process the hate for this.. I want to stop this stupid addiction, yet it won't go away.. I can't heal. I'm sick.

Why did my childhood get torn like this? I just wanted to be human also.. not some sick porn addicted fuck. I hate this. I hate how I cope. I want to be a human again. I want to be normal once again.

[azulyaelitorrescardenas]

sometimes that feeling of being dirty comes back to me, for this case of feelings i got one lyric from a melanie martinez song

"pinky promise, i still love your garden"
"even with no flowers?"
"even with no flowers."

im not that moment
im not that trauma

im a person, my whole life doesnt stick to that
i will grow flowers some day

[the_appl]

im sure she died, but i was too young to realize.

second grade. that was when she and i met. she was my best friend, and i was hers too.

keyword: was.

the cafeteria. we were eating and laughing together, but she fell. somehow. I didn't know what to do. I thought shed stand back up, but she didn't.

Blue and red lights were blaring. her head was bleeding—i think. the memory is foggy, since it was years ago.

I watched as she got carried away, in which seemed to be her father. Or maybe our principal.

Weeks later, rumors spreading. Saying she went to hawaii to get 'treatment'.

Now that im older, im more open minded. she died and went to hawaii for a funeral, im sure.

Fly high, Sophia.

[Koisuu]

Life’s been hard.
Lost my job, lost my house, and I’m losing myself. I’m struggling a lot these days. There’s a small light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m trying so hard to grasp it..

[Chamomile.Tea]

(I may delete this because venting is an uncommon thing to me) I remember when my friends had to worry about no other title, no other expectation, other than being friends.

Friends with guys, gals, no “YOU MUST” to our worlds.
When we decided when to close our eyes, and the setting sun meant nothing.
When scruffed knees, loss teeth, bandages and bruises were the hardest things about life.

When holding onto someone didn’t have to be overthought as something more. Just knuckle heads being knuckle heads.
I am the friendly face, the sturdiest chuckle, the strong one. When the going gets tough, I get tougher.
I am exhausted.
My heart *shattered* when I reconnected with a childhood friend.
We were like siblings - people always thought we were siblings.
He set me up unknowingly on a date, I had already asked him to not do that.
Regardless I befriended the fellow, and all three of us were making jokes.
Light hearted, sometimes dark, sometimes puns…
But my friend, to his buddy, in front of me, goes “Hey, so pro tip: when courting a woman, don’t make her laugh too much. You want her to remain poise.”

“KK… what did you just say to him?”

“When courting a wo-“

“I’m your friend before I’m a woman, right? I’m your friend first, right?”
“…”
“Dude. We grew up together. You see me as your friend first, then recognize I’m a chic, right? Before anything I’m your friend… right?”
“…”
…I refuse to lose what’s left of my childhood views.
People are people, and
cruelty is cruelty - double standards, stereotypes, stigmas…

I wish I could be hugged again, and feel like it meant nothing more than just a hug.
It’s okay though. I keep smiling, my heart keeps beating, and there will be a better tomorrow. Just gotta work towards it so I can wake up there.
Yeah.
It’ll be okay…

[IHeartNerdBoys]

I feel so sad when i read peoples vent in the comment, it makes me wanna cry. I hope everyone will be alright, do never give up, you can do it. If you dont feel alright, seek help while you can. <3

[Oscribus]

{LONG VENT (sorry 🙁)} the first song reminds me of my first cat i had in 2019, i loved her to death, she was a gray shorthair i believed, found her in my backyard, she carried me through quarantine and back. but she went missing in 2023, believed to be either sold or given away by my cousins. i got two more cats (black and gray male cats) after the incident, but i were distraught. couldn’t get over her for months on end. my other gray male (that i named after her) then suffered the same fate. both gray cats “went missing”, obviously because of my cousins, but they didnt know i knew. i still have my black male cat named Domino to this day, who i also love and cling to as much as my other gray cats, and we have moved to a new apartment, away from my cousins after my mother was hospitalized for a stroke (she is ok, just going through rehabilitation while i live with my sister). but i still miss my old life, before it were ruined. quarantine ruined my family. i miss you, Kitty.

[NuncHistoria]

Music, including stuff like this is keeping me alive right now. I have nothing else, because my own choices lead to the burning of every bridge I've ever built


I have no fucking idea what to do or where to go anymore

[alyssabullock]

The first song always hits me in my emotions when I hear it, and frankly, I can't handle listening to the whole thing.

It makes me think of baby kittens, and something about that in a vent playlist just strikes a personal cord in me that makes me feel bad 😔

[BkerRt]

I still wonder if my life was ruined by losing my innocence or if its just me lying to myself and making it all up.