Top 3 Signs Your Loved One Needs Nursing Home Care

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You have every right to be angry about dementia.
Hell, dementia has ruined your life and probably your family's lives too.

The future looks bleak.

We know what the outcome will be-
Death.

But there's a long road between diagnosis and death.

And we need to make that road as smooth as possible.

We need to avoid all the speed bumps and potholes.

But how?

What can we do about it?

Doctors can't help!

Their solution is to put your loved one in a nursing home or lock them up in a memory care unit.

We both know that all that does is move the problem to another location.

What you need is answers. What you need is solutions.
What you need is new techniques that work!

Well, you got it.
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We've created some modern, easy to use phrases and skills to get you results in your house with your loved one.

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For many, the decision to move your loved one into a care facility may be the hardest decision of their life and there are many factors to consider before going through with it. In this video, Debra offers her top 3 signs your loved one needs nursing home care. When beginning to consider a care facility, it is important to be fully aware of the issue you are trying to solve by moving your person. Someone who suffers from frequent falls may be worse off in a nursing home as that is where the most falls tend to occur. As such, nothing would be gained from moving them. Falling does become an issue however if there is no one regularly available who can assist the person when they do fall. Wandering also falls into this category as most nursing homes will avoid taking patients like this as they can be very high maintenance. However, if the person is currently living near cliffs, large bodies of water, or can easily access a vehicle it may be time to consider relocating them. This is especially true if they constantly get around safeguards you’ve tried using to stop them. Other reasons to consider a care facility are that they are unable to respond correctly to an emergency without help, they are unable to clean themselves or keep up with their basic needs, and that the caregiver is no longer able or willing to provide the care needed. It may be that you are breaking a promise you made to that person to never put them in a home, but those promises were made before you knew the full weight of being a caregiver. It’s not a lifestyle everyone can manage, and there is no shame in admitting that.

[b.bernal]

My mother came to live with me, because that’s what she wanted. Soon I realized her dementia was worse than I thought initially. She was paranoid, delusional and hallucinating also. I found someone to help me with her a few hours a day, but my mother wanted only me. After a few months I realized I couldn’t do. I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. I wasn’t sleeping, because there were days she would be up at all hours of the night. I searched and found a small ALF that was recommended by a friend. I knew she would be well taken care of. It was a very difficult decision and one that some in my family criticized me for, but they were not walking in my shoes.

[TrelmaDavis]

Struggling so bad with this decision. Thank you .

[NoemiGuerrero-zu]

Thank you for sharing this message because its not easy to let go my Father to an nursing home I feel a guilty feeling but acknowledge that I need help

[joyceweber]

IM TAKING CARE OF MY YOUNGER SISTER SHE IS BEDRIDDEN AND HAS ALZHEIMER I AM 7 YEARS OLDER AT 71 SHE NEEDS CARE 24/7 ITS GETTING HARD TO TAKE CARE OF HER .I HAVE TO CHANGE HER AND FEED HER.I HAVE NO LIFE.I WAS JUST TOLD I HAVE BREAST CANCER FOR THE 3RD TIME .I AM DEPRESSED AND TIRED ALLTHE TIME.YES I FEEL GUILTY I NEED TO PUT HER IN A NURSING HOME.

[bellelindamoser]

the hardest thing for me being the caregiver for my husband is his hateful words to me.

[meganmills]

We have a unique situation with my mom. She is 86 and dementia but also 95%blind. She has been in her home for 31 years and knows it well. She had care from 8-6pm and they would leave and she would go to bed after her meds The problem was that she didn’t like one caregiver who was there 2 days a week and would be difficult and walk out the garage. Those days she would call me 10 times a day mad that I couldn’t come over. She wanted more socializing so we talked her into going to a memory care place. It has been 1 month and she hates it and we( my brother and I) haven’t gone to talk to her but observe her 2-4 times a week. My husband has been and she cries to him that she wants to go home. Calls my brother and I swear words and says we can have all her money ( not an issue). We also are paying her favorite caregiver to go by 3 times a week.
The place is telling us one more month to let her settle in. They have already adjusted her Zoloft to 75mg.
What should we do?

[elizabethburke]

I just returned from a meeting for LTC for my mom who's lived with us for the last 4 years..2 weeks ago she couldn't stand and unable to get to bathroom..she's been hospitalized since, not eating, refusing meds( or spitting them out at nurses) she's angry and doesn't recognize us.. Satsuma we're fakes..the guilt is real..my head knows it's the right decision but my heart doesn't 😢

[cindym]

Just put mom in memory care a month ago. It was the right decision. She was in assisted living with dad and he passed away. She was scared and full of grief. She is having a hard time but the facility is a good one with daily activities and weekly outings.

[bigsurkate]

I have only promised that I would take care of him as long as I could, but that some point, I wouldn’t be able to any more, and then I would have to put him in a memory care facility.

[CarolHelliwell-ldsj]

My husband has been in care for almost 12 months . Not only does he have Dementia but also some small strokes .I can honestly say that he is getting the best care 24/7. I hid the fact that he had Dementia for several years because I just didn’t want to show him up .But the time came as it does . I still visit him 3 times a week . Don’t put it off if you can’t manage.

[jimjarrett]

When my wife had dementia and COPD, I had help from hospice for the last 6 months of her life. She wanted to die at home. Without the help that I got I couldn’t have done it by myself.

[kathrenfehr]

This is an amazing YouTube it answers the questions we all have. It has taken some of the guilt we all feel away, answers the why. Thank you. ❤️

[joelled.]

This is the third video of hers I have watched and I have learned so much. I leave soon to give my sister a 2 week caregiver break. She does much, and feels weighed down by the decisions that are looming on the horizon. I will definitely be sharing this channel with her and other family members. Thanks for all you do!

[kathrynemason]

I'm lucky I've undertaken this sort of care for years, in people's homes, residential and nursing homes and nursing in hospital. My mother hasn't done anything I haven't seen before. It's as is I've been in training for her, for the lady few decades.

[CissyBrazil]

My situation is this: I am 76 with a bad back. I am caring, in my home, for my sister who is only 1.5 years older than I am. Although her stage is relativity early yet, I am unable to get her up when she falls. We live alone. I live in a small rural town with no other relatives. I was recently in the ER and had to leave her alone for about 6 hours. I’m fine now, but I was very sick for two weeks. There’s more to my story, but it’s too lengthy to say it all here.

[rebeccamckenna]

How refreshing! Thank you for offering guidance on this difficult decision.

[jacksonvilleflwatch]

I watched your video and totally agree with you. I had to place my wife into long-term care over a year ago because I couldn't physically take care of her. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I subscribed to your channel.

[janetbryan]

I just found your community and am so thankful for it, Debra. I was the caregiver of my father who had dementia alzheimers. I was a single mother of a daughter. We moved in to his home to help him. Now almost 30 years later, I am becoming my younger (74) sister's support system. She gets very anxious when she has to do things like going to her dr.'s appointments, working her cell phone and computer. She has lost most of her short term memory. She asks the same question over and over and over. She has difficulty remembering things to tell her dr about how her heart rhythm is doing. I asked her to give me her power of attorney for financial and medical decisions which she has done. She has all the signs of mild cognitive memory loss of and her neurologist says he thinks her dementia is the alzheimer type. We live in the same city but are separated by a bridge over the city's bay. My daughter and I live on the same street and have been trying to get her to move here by us and out of her house (which she is finding difficult to manage by herself). She can do her ADL's but we think we will need to have her quit driving pretty soon.

My delimma is: Do I encourage her to move here and rent her home or do we wait until she needs to be in a memory care facility? I know it is hard as we get older to adjust to different surroundings and it can cause a lot of confusion. She already has confusion, so would it be better to hold off moving now? Or do I encourage this move before the memory care move? I am finding it becoming a bit more difficult to go with her to all her dr's appointments and to go to her home when she calls telling me she can't work her computer or cell phone. Any suggestions or things I should think about would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you so much for the support and the experience you share with us in working with this condition!!. Janet

[suzannepage]

Thank you for helping me to continue learning more about dementia after losing my mum.

[geraldineross]

Thank you for your expert advice. I am struggling with have to put my husband of 57 years in a care facility. His Alzheimer’s/Lewey Body Dementia is taking over his brain at a rapid pace.
He knows what he doesn’t know at this point and his struggles with trying to function is making him very depressed, anxious to the point of his anger scaring me. He has said several times I can’t do this any more I should just die. This is beyond what I can handle.