This Makes Him Think: 'I Hope I Never Lose Her'

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[phoenixrising]

It’s not about being perfect
it’s about being authentic 😎

[AbbaOjcze]

“He’s not like a dog… most of the time” 🤣

[kindoffunctional]

Brian!😂 "reward him and give him a toy, who's a good boy"😂😂😂

[angelore]

Whenever I'm feeling quite lost in my relationship, I always resort to your advises. They give me so much reassurance, and I find great comfort in the way you make sense of painfully difficult circumstances. Always gives me the drive to take a step in the right direction. Thank you, Brian!

[hannahberlinpetry]

Some things I’d like to dive into a bit to get more understanding:

1. When you say “get to know the real him”, do you believe it’s a woman’s responsibility to always pull the “real him” out, or would you recommend that men also need to learn how to be more communicative with their authentic selves? Many women already try getting men to open up, but many men refuse to open up because they perceive any vulnerability as a sign of weakness. That’s not something a woman can fix unless she’s a therapist, and even a therapist can’t make a man open up if he doesn’t want to. His authenticity is his responsibility.

2. You give this example of your friend’s love interest ghosting him, but don’t give us a specific step to “keeping a man committed” (as if we can actually do that lol). Are you trying to say “don’t ghost a guy and he’ll be committed”? Please give clarity to this part.

3. Yes, we should all be our authentic selves. But to claim that this keeps a man committed? Unfortunately many women’s’ experiences show that once they start becoming more authentic, most men withdraw, have affairs, etc. they don’t want real relationships because men are socialized to think relationship is a weakness.

4. Doing something active? Again, I’m not sure you’re actually in touch with women’s’ perspectives here. Women are ALWAYS trying to accommodate to men. We usually do what they want to do, and when we bring up things we want to do, they usually act like that’s “too girly” for them. Activities should not be gendered, but sadly, they still are, and things that are considered “masculine” are seen as acceptable to everyone, but things that are considered “feminine” are still largely seen as exclusive to women and girls and are perceived as inferior to the things considered masculine. Telling women to simply accommodate more in this way is not only unequal, but doesn’t keep men committed.
I’ve seen men get with amazing women but not commit and men get with women that don’t show a sign of uniqueness and worship the ground she walks on.

Men commit because they want to. That’s it. Either they’ve got enough of their shit together to be ready for commitment or they don’t.

[trynafind_annie]

1. Being irreplaceable should not be your primary goal. That would put him on a pedestal.
2. Try to see the real him:
-Don't be delusional.
-Think rationally.
-Beware of the mind games.
3. Be special:
-Don't blend in with other women he knows.
-Be authentic, to see if he's genuinely interested or not.
-Let there be differences between you two. Don't change for him.
4. Do more fun activities together than just restaurant dates. Allow him to see you in motion to notice your uniqueness.

[nidhidawda]

Brian you put things into perspective like nobody else.

[laremi]

Yes, building memories is very important.
And fun.
And alive.
We are here in this world for living ourselves, perpetuate life and sustain life itself.

[confusedwhynot]

We have to see each other as we are and how we can become. We also need to remember we are not perfect and will make mistakes. Be who you are but strive to be better. You have to be willing to work on the relationship. I tried to encourage my husband to spend time together doing a variety of things. It just never really happened!! My list of activities was long but not extravagant. You don't need to spend a ton of money to enjoy time together.

[LadyWoreBlack]

That is great advice - doing activities that create memories, and not always sitting down talking

[invisibleme]

Ah, that’s the problem. I wasn’t feeding him. 😂

[firstnamelastname]

OMG you just solved my problem. Answered the questions he won't. Huge epiphany huge! Thank you!

[prjdghyt]

Now I understand why he doesn't want to lose me. He told me he got attached when I opened up to him.

[jotan]

Thank you for explaining the man phrase ‘I can’t be the man you deserve. I think you feel better than me.’ It makes a lot of sense and things went a bit too quickly, esp putting him on a pedestal, when all he wanted was for me to get to know him & see him for who he really was.

[forestsprite]

🤣 You’re the best, Geert-Brian. You’re psychologically spot-on AND you deliver your crystal-clear, super-helpful information with a humor that’s uniquely your own and simply fantastically hilarious. Thank you for your wonderful work. I’ve learned so much from what you teach, and my dating life is becoming increasingly healthy because of it. THANK YOU.

[Jooney]

This actually happens to me often... I meet a man, he gets fascinated by how amazing I am, we start to date and boom after few weeks he realizes I am still a person with flaws and scars, and not some kind of goddess. And then he leaves saying I am not what he was looking for. I am really not trying to hide who I am, althought I do understand I do something wrong. Any ideas?

[missnaome]

I get scared every time my boyfriend says “you are perfect “ deep down I know I’m not

[TC-gcrt]

Love your humor and positive energy, Amazing. I find myself laughing and smiling while also receiving what I feel is great advise. Cheers.

[leonita]

"Brian : Brilliant as always ❤️"

[mellifeupsidedown]

This is hands down one of the best dating videos I have watched. Thank you!