John Mulaney: “Canceling Plans Is Like Heroin”

John Mulaney describes the instant joy of breaking off plans and wonders why people treat ordering fries like it’s an adventure.


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[lucyhartwell]

John Mulaney always looks like an innocent 1950s time-traveller and then he comes out with sentences like "I started smoking age 13"

[ilovefrogssomuch]

"Yeah the kids don't wanna work either"
"GOOD."
*drinks air wine*

[steamgears]

John Mulaney has never more looked like a kid wearing an adult suit than on this show

[MeanBeanComedy]

One of my friends said to me recently, "I can't out-drink my wife. She was a schoolteacher in Louisiana."
It all makes sense now!

[devinwilkerson]

Best way to make plans is to silently hope the other person cancels.

[phillies_]

John Mulaney is my favorite asian-american woman.

[downrighttt]

Him finishing this joke in 2024:
“Canceling plans is like heroin, and trust me, I would know”
*thunderous applause*

[candycane]

I can’t breathe “tots are angels who haven’t died yet”

[therookie]

School teachers are always at bars. Make sense though.

[jeffw]

"How does John know how to make a cosmopolitan?"


God bless you John Mulaney.

[profitdotws]

I'm from NY where " let me call you later " translates to " enjoy the rest of your day " 99% of the time

[thadorks]

I was able to kick my heroic addiction by constantly canceling plans, I dont have friends now, but totally worth it

[Tia-Marie]

Once you have kids it's like having a dealer for excuses to get out of plans.

[bluesdjben]

The bit about how great doing nothing feels as an adult is like one of the top 5 things a stand-up comedian has said that I identify most with.

[Concetta]

He’s been smoking since 13? How does he still have such baby-clear skin?

[Remi_Lin]

If canceling plans is like heroin then we all must be high as f right now

[lateblossom]

There's something clean and classy about him, like he came out of the 50s or something

[efrainsaucedo]

"I know you'll have fries" will forever be joke with all my friend groups.

[GeeksGets]

"Nobody has said bozo in a 1000 years" proof John Mulaney is immortal.

[ameliarobinson]

I JUST REALIZED: HE STANDS LIKE A CHARACTER FROM
DOCTOR SEUSS!!!!