God Likes to Watch: The Blaming and Shaming of Purity Culture

Inside and outside of dogmatic religions, people are shamed and controlled by moralists crying "sin!" Why and how are the puritans attacking the natural, sexual person?

Seth Andrews gave a recent speech on Purity Culture.

[thunderbird]

We MUST be able to SUE churches out of existence for all the damage they have done!!!

[berkah]

Thank you for recognizing the specific damage Christianity has done to girls and women. There is so much

[Emelefpi]

OMG...that daddy-daughter 'date' was one of the most uncomfortable things I've seen in a long time. I don't know how old that video was but I hope that poor girl finds her way out of that awful life her father imposed on her :(

[thefisherking]

Every word of this resonated with me, including the guilt and shame of normal desires, the rush to a young marriage, the awkward wedding night, the reluctant conclusion of incompatibility, and the lasting trauma affecting all the relationships after that. I still struggle to believe that I'm fundamentally good and desirable as a result.

[VWHybrid]

Ugh, so many pieces of my childhood are tied into this speech. True Love Waits, dad in Promise Keepers, Focus on the Family, homophobic family, surrounded by toxic masculinity and toxic purity culture, the list goes on and on and on. I’m so glad I escaped this cycle.

[Trigger-xwgq]

Christianity teaches that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.

[KarenSharin]

My son is a high functioning autistic . No filter . We were in the car coming home when he was about 12 . He asked me what i thought of masterbation because " Im thinking of trying it " . I said " well... I think its natural ... and a form of free entertainment " 😂
Was cracking up inside because autism gives some unique moments in being a mom .

[heyidaroo]

I grew up in a secular household, but with a parent who experienced an extreme amount of religious trauma (rural Lutheran household in northern Wisconsin). What really sticks out for me is that because of the religious trauma my mom experienced, I was raised with the exact same messaging, but from a secular perspective.

My clothing was policed so that I would be taken seriously as a woman.
I was not allowed to wear makeup because caring about your looks meant you didn’t care about school.
She tried to deter me from dating & sex because boys wouldn’t respect me.

That’s how deep religious trauma can go. In the next generation, the word “hell” was replaced with the word “shame”

(Edited for spelling errors)

[mikehatalovsky]

I believe this one tops em all so far. Seth, you’re a genius orator, compassionate and realistic. Exposing the prudes (almost always the biggest closet perverts) is essential for people to be truly free. Your point about “control the sexuality; control the individual” is foundational to this evil disguised as virtue.

“Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.” - Aldous Huxley

[rhondah]

I am never disappointed with Seth's talks. He touches on things that resonate for so many of us and it is refreshing to understand how fortunate we are to have freed ourselves from religious indoctrination. Thank you so much Seth. Your words are like sweet melodies to my ears and you always make me smile.

[Andrea-zmnl]

I have been saying that religious indoctrination of children is morally and ethically wrong for my entire adult life and this video touches on many of the reasons why. Ty so much for this talk!

[mender]

Religious Trauma is a thing. I am still dealing with it to some degree. Mostly from others, particularly family. I came out as gay 15 years ago and they still haven't come to terms about it. It's the elephant in the room.

[captainstinkyvonpoopberg]

Remember: Sex is the most awful, disgusting thing in the world and you should save it for the person you love.

[MrCanis]

Very clear to me. Religion is not only man-made, but certainly man-man-made.

[imagomonkei]

I've been an atheist for over three years (I'm 33). This is still a huge issue for me that I haven't been able to move past.

[mizotter]

Thank you for your service in addressing the dehumanizing doctrines in the religious cultures of "The Book."
The misogyny of evangelical xtianity is one of the forces that drove me from the cult. Within 2 years of conversion, I had developed CPTSD that included anxiety, perfectionism, self-hatred, and night terrrors. I converted as a vulnerable teen--just before the Thief in The Night film series came to town.
Thank you for all you do to promote secularism. May you be happy; may you be well; may you be free from suffering; may you be at peace.

[kayanneyoung]

"Promise Keepers", lol. Meanwhile the daughter of the founder got pregnant by two different members of the football team coached by her father - "purify THIS, Dad!!"😤😤😤

And I hope Kristy McCartney is happy and well-adjusted and out from under the misogynistic thumb of Christianity.

[MegaChickenfish]

38:40 I'm reminded of the Barbie Movie's positive message regarding relationships of "you are enough" but really just going the exact opposite direction of "No, fuck you. You *aren't* enough." It's the sort of thing I heard a lot growing up and internalized but they were never crazy enough to _say it out loud, _ only imply it constantly. They hammered in for every second I was at church that I had a "god-shaped hole" and always left out the fact that they were the ones who violently carved it out of my self-esteem. Healing from that wound took years of therapy.

[Kendrix_]

Masturbation partner is a GREAT idea.. if you both have issues with it.. well.. you can always.. beat it together!! : P

[valerietaylor]

I was raised Catholic. I knew from an early age that I did not want children. When I was twelve or thirteen, I found out from reading the Catholic encyclopedia in the back of my mother’s bible, that sex was only for procreation, with one’s spouse, and that any other sexual activity was a mortal sin ( meaning that I would go to hell if I ever had sex.) I became an agnostic when I was eighteen, but it took me almost another decade before I lost my virginity. I was that inhibited by my atavistic fears of going to hell. I am now sixty-five, have never been married, and have lost all interest in sex. I actually feel better about myself because of it. The Catholic Church ruined sex for me, and I’m not even angry about it. That’s how well I internalized the doctrines, I guess. But even the pagan Greek philosophers didn’t have a terribly high opinion of sex, so I guess I’m in good company. P.S. “ Dating your dad” sounds incestuous.