A loving reminder for those children of immigrants.

As well as being a daughter of two immigrants, a majority of the clients who I support either are the same or are immigrants themselves.

We are often having this conversation in sessions. What tends to come up are feelings of resentment towards their peers, resentment towards their parents, feelings of alienation and shame towards themselves.

It's easy to get into a comparative mindset when we look to our peers and see what they are achieving or have access to when we are only looking at the surface level.

Once we start zooming out, we create room to cut ourselves some slack – we can realise that we may be the first generation that is busy sowing seeds and integrating into the place we found ourselves in, while our peers may have the opportunity of building upon or even reaping the benefits of the work of the generations before them (and quite possibly without having to deal with any challenges related to assimilating culturally).

I know this experience all too well on a personal level. My family barely made ends meet, I was often the English translator, there was always an expectation to achieve academically with no support to get there. My family was literally in survival mode while other's seemed to be thriving. I was ashamed about this for a long time growing up.

It wasn't until my trip to the Philippines a few months ago and spent time with my family that I realised just how privileged I truly am. It was an experience of fully embodying this reframe and feeling deep gratitude for my family history. We had been thriving all along. The only people we can really compare ourselves to is, ourselves – and even that is a delicate practice.

If this is speaking to you, listen to the latest episode of Healing CPTSD: Decolonising Wellbeing w/ SEED SPACE: Intersectionality, Context and the Collective.

Follow my 🔗 in my description. Happy listening.

#immigrant #immigrantparents #intergenerationaltrauma #generationaltrauma #trauma #cptsd #culture