Infomercial: God Can

Infomercial number 365: This commercial produced by the late husband of a lovely family, who knocked on the heavens door a little too hard. As far as 'J-Offs' go, this is said to be the last surviving two, although Paul was rarely seen after the filming of this. He had a different vision of himself, of the world, of the path his mother had taken.

Customer: Snazyl

[blooperli]

"The God Can: Because God can!"

None of this makes any sense, and it's amazing.

[Wimbleknob]

Well, the Bible does say that if a man could gaze upon the face of God, he would instantly die, due to how great the glory of God is... so this really is the next best thing!

[Andeloine_is_not_a_communist]

*_Disclaimer: This product has not been approved by the FDA, or been properly tested on humans_*

[IvailoStoychev]

Fun Fact: The videogame Starbound has this licensed product in their game as a mod.

[Rogue_Huntress]

You could make a relig-

No, don't.

[heretichazel]

Side affects may include:
Convulsions
Loss of faith
Switching of orafices
Ingrown eyes
Dry mouth
Loss of appetite
Rashes
Ritualistic lashes
Unintentional rhyming
Hallucinations
Enjoying christian music
Sudden hatred of *HOMOSEXUALS*
Decrease in usage of contraception
*Trailer parks seem appealing*
Anxiety
Permanent headache
6 day week
Virgin pregnancies
WWJD bracelets
Hit and miss jokes

[Tucker]

“Look at little Timmy having a Devine intervention!”


*literally dying*

[Chara_the_god]

"What did I say about thinking?"
-every parent ever.

[juliano]

Now honey, what did I say about thinking?

[SharpVCN]

So basically by ''meet God' he means dying and meeting them in heaven

[HenryXLII]

But...But.... Wouldn't the actual funeral be at a Church?

[discowizard]

The fact that these occasionally pop up as actual ads for me is beyond amazing to me

[nunsense]

"Now honey, What did I say about thinking?"


-basically every conspiracist

[hisanimations]

*_I keep screaming but god won't answer._*

[sosigman]

"I keep screaming but god won't answer"

That made me laugh hard

[PKMNTrainerKelly]

Side effects may include:

Convulsions
Loss of faith
Switching of orifices
Ingrown eyes
Dry mouth
Loss of appetite
Rashes
Ritualistic lashes
Unintentional rhyming
Hallucinations
Enjoying christian music
Sudden hatred of homosexuals
Decrease in usage of contraception
Trailer parks seem appealing
Anxiety
Permanent headache
6 day week
Virgin pregnancies
WWJD bracelets
Hit and miss jokes
*And many more!!!*

[davianlaw]

“I keep screaming but god won’t answer me” -Literally everyone in 2020

[MellodyMelon]

"I wanna go to church, but I don't want to miss my son's funeral!"

*So let's join him in his divine intervention!*

[chilidog]

1:20
*Now with 50% of the normal diddling!

“Hi diddly ho neighboreeno” - Flanders

[oshahott]

As a Christian, I'm confused.

As a human, I'm laughing.

Please help.