What It's Like To Live With Chronic Anxiety

Writer and journalist Sarah Wilson knows anxiety. She was 12 when she was first diagnosed with childhood anxiety. In the more than three decades since, she has been diagnosed with insomnia, bulimia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, hypomania, and bipolar disorder. All of which, as she writes in her memoir about her journey through anxiety, First, We Make The Beast Beautiful, are "just different flavors" of the same thing.

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health disorders in the United States, affecting about 18% of the population each year. Wilson shares with the Cut in the video above how the condition has profoundly affected her life, and how she has managed to make it, as she says, "beautiful."

[raidenthekat]

I'll never understand how people manage to live normal lives with these conditions.
I can barely get out of bed, let alone run 5kms a day, hold down a job, move to another location, attend uni TWICE, and whatever else this lady has accomplished.

[howtodoit]

They is a feeling that sometimes comes where you feel happy and that you can do anything then it fades away real quick like give it back.

[technofeeling]

Am I the only one that feels a burning sensation inside? It's like burning alive. What kind of anxiety is this? It's hell

[Factrillion]

I am 25 and have been suffering from moderate to high anxiety for years. Depression, mood swings are common. I've found it extremely difficult to make relationships, have healthy conversations, face people I don't know. I have received little to no support from anybody. I am losing my abilities and finding it very hard to develop important skills of personal life and profession. I am feeling hopeless and my crucial time is being wasted to mental disorders. If there's anybody listening, please suggestion me something for change, I am vulnerable.

[HjbProductions]

I suffer from severe anxiety and depression and I can barely

[oliviaburrage]

I constantly feel as if I am dying. I can never breathe it feels like.. My pulse OX is always normal but I never believe it. I feel like I am dying constantly..

[mobandz]

Anxiety feels like a small man on fire inside of you trying to stab his way out

[Budtuhrdhj]

i hate sleeping because tha requires peace but in the head it’s a war .

[NefelibataViatorem]

I am diagonised with GAD (generalized anixety disorder) and it's absolute hell, but I am very greatful to be alive and it's how you cope with it is what matters.

I was diagnosed at around age 12 and it's genetic, I had symptoms ever since I really was young and i didnt even realize its not normal till later down the road.

Honestly, with my anxiety, it probably created more mental health issues but I dont like to self-diagnose. However, it is pretty common that anxiety and depression is interlinked and i can see why.

I struggle with this daily, i never get a break, and its exhausting. Its like constantly having a headache and you dont know why, but also with anxiety you experience physical things so with me i genuinely have a constant headache from being so anxious/stressed.

Everyone who is diagnosed with this is different and thats okay, its just we have to support each other because its genuinely exhausting for anyone who has it.

Anyway, i am constantly on edge, even when i dont realize it and it also effects me physically. I could be sitting somewhere than randomly get really lightheaded and shaky and have lots of thoughts for no reason. I take pills for this as (honestly) i really need something as functioning is a bit hard with constant fear and worry, but i try my best to cope without the pills even when i can easily slip out of control. I also experience constant headaches and shakiness for no reason too (referencing before) and it's so fustrating. I also experience panic attacks (which is sadly common) with many symptoms: headaches, lightheadedness/dizziness, shakiness, cold hands/feet, heavy breathing, numbness/tinglingly sensation, sweating, speeding thoughts, (i dont know what it's called) when you hear your heartbeat very loudly, and dissociation. These panic attacks vary in severity for me, the best being just headache/dizziness, dissociation, heartbeat thingy, and sweats, and the worst being almost causing me to pass out.

These things exist and i feel awareness is needed. I constantly get invalidated by this from people telling me to 'not be stressed' or saying its 'just a normal emotion everyone feels', and it really does suck. I get anxiety being a normal emotion and, hell, i wish i had it on a normal level but with GAD this is beyond the levels of 'normal'. Because of this, i also really do hate people faking this for attention, its really insensitive no matter how much one may think little of it. On the flip side, i also really do hate people invalidating others as they 'arent severe enough' or whatever, which is crazy.

Im sorry, you didnt ask for my opinion but i just feel its needed for people to help each other out with dealing with this and giving more awareness of how much it can effect someone.

That is pretty much my story and i hope everyone shares their story too as you all matter always. You are loved, cared for and are not alone.

[kermkerm]

When your sleep starts to get affected because of bad dreams caused by OCD and anxiety is when you truly feel like you have lessened freedom 😞

[lextheboogeyman]

I'm diagnosed with severe anxiety, when I was little the other kids thought I was a weirdo for always being so afraid of small mundane things.

[kikithepupper]

That last scene putting them in a stroller and just walk. It's exactly what my therapist also told me.. She said, well Anxiety and Depression, come on, let's go and do our work. Accepting that it's there

[somebicycle]

I always felt misunderstood as a child. As a tween and teenager I was depressed. In high school I was diagnosed with a physical chronic condition (nothing that will kill me, just makes life difficult). I missed a year of school. I learned how to manage it and was living symptom free for years. This past year I had a resurgence of symptoms combine with intense anxiety and OCD. Anxiety that my condition will get worse and that I will be unable to work and live normally. Anxiety that my condition is misdiagnosed and that I actually have another condition. Since most of my symptoms are also symptoms of anxiety, It's often a chicken and the egg problem of what started first, the anxiety or the symptoms. Either way, these past few months have been completely terrible. I feel that I am at the end of my rope. I do not want to live in this state forever.

[helenalena]

While Anxiety is only one of the many things I'm diagnosed with (I'm Autistic and ADHD, have also Depression and general anxiety disorder), anxiety is the only thing that no therapy has ever helped me go around in any way. No therapy, medicine, meditation or anything at all has ever helped me.
Before, anxiety would lead to panic attacks that were basically crying fits where I couldn't breathe. Now, my heart races as if it's going to wear itself, I feel dizzy and like vomiting, my limbs go numb and I feel like I'm going to faint as well. And now those symptoms last for hours, while panic attacks were way more brief.

[OT-qyen]

Guys... I'm literally only 18....but this anxiety shit dosen't leave me....I keep on thinking useless things and then my heart beats like theres no tomorrow....

[FrantasticFrantasy]

It is remarkable how much you have attained in spite of your anxiety. Mine always held me back from achieving full potential. I'm pretty old now and am still controlling my environment in many ways, but have found ways to lead a mentally and physically fulfilling (to me) life. I occasionally take an ativan to handle social situations, but really dislike meds. I do take CBD and it takes the edge off without ill effects and has really helped with sleep problems....

[staticinwonderland]

I literally feel terrified of everything, because I have no idea what it is that's terrifying me. My thoughts are so horrible of what horrid things are happening that are not happening. I feel like I'm in jail. I feel like I must be a price of shit . I feel like anything I do, even if it's purchase something I would like to have will cause me even more pain, or worse someone else. It's like I'm being constantly beat down, and I don't even know where the beating is coming from. But I'm in a round room with not even a corner to hide in. I never want anyone to have to feel this way. It's so unfair. I'm terrified to work or go out with a friend. I'm sorry to everyone suffering, I know they say " well life's not fair" !!! That's an understatement 😩 lots of therapy, lots of spiritual work, lots of meds and docs and even in a hospital, it won't stop. Nothing helps as of yet. I'm so very sorry to anyone who feels this inside. I pray we can be healed

[cmj]

Thank you for this video. I too suffer from anxiety and depression. 🥺
Isaiah 41:10
Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.’

[fifiearthwanderer]

57 seconds in and I already feel like this lady gets me!!! 😭

[MindThatEgo]

I love your approach! I can relate to your journey, and I appreciate the magnitude of how difficult taming the beast is. This shift in perspective is something my spiritual practice has taught me — don't fear the fear, befriend it. Get to know it. Learn from it.

I've added your book to my reading list.