Polygamy | Becoming A Second Wife | Accepting Other Wives

This is a survey only! I will make another video using your comments and provide my perspective on your thoughts. Thank you!

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[littlesofia]

I am a second wife. We all live together as one family. The first wife and I get along wonderfully. Subhanallah 🤲

[MysteriousMiddleEast]

A lot of guys say yeah we would like to have it, but truth be told, I believe it’s nothing to do with following sunnah, it’s simply about sex. Which is fine because we are human at the end of the day and this is halal for us.

However logistically thinking, today in the 21st Century, even here in the Middle East, it’s not a sensible option. First as a man we have to treat our wives equally, not just emotionally but also financially. If I have four wives, and I have children with each of those four wives, how am I going to afford to support them all equally? Bills, schooling, housing etc will add up significantly even with a good salary and government support. And it’s haram to play favorites and give more to one than to the other.

Furthermore most of the younger generation Muslims have a western (romantic) mindset where relationships are a one on one thing. With this in mind, someone is eventually going to feel jealous in this equation with more than one wife and that can cause friction. In a time of rising divorce rates we need to be focused on perfecting the family life with the first wife, before starting a second, third and fourth. I’m just being realistic,

[fahimaih]

I feel like polygamy is ok IF the first wife is genuinely alright with it, not just accepting it for her husband’s sake.

[dangersofsecretmarriagesan]

I'm sorry but I'm not destroying another sister for no

[Miriamyasharel]

I'm a second wife i actually have a video on my YouTube about polygyny. i believe it's a beautiful thing if you focus on the most high and being obedient 😊

[triyshamor]

Asalaam walaikum rahmatulhi wa barakatu. I am 100% for polygamy if it is done correctly. I have been married before and taken as a 2nd wife, although it didn't work then doesn't mean it will never work. The positives that I noticed are vast compared to the negatives. As an example I am a person who likes to venture off and explore, he was not, she was not; that gave me time to do something I liked on my own. She also was good with teaching children, I was not the best. There are certain things you can work on when each party has an expertise. I also feel if people don't have ill intent and love their co-wives as sisters in Islam, rather than it being a competition for the husband's attention, all will be well. In'sha Allah I will be married again, whether he (being single) agrees to polygamy, or him and his wife/wives and children like me and my children as an addition to that union of love, or whatever the situation is. If we can all come together and expand communities of Muslims who fear and serve Allah all will be well In'sha Allah.

[yaminaha]

Assalamuwalaikkum sis, I would highly recommend the book ''From my Sisters lips'' by Naima B'Roberts if you haven't already read/heard of it. The author is a revert and she talks about how she, into a few months of her marriage, recommended a potential second wife for her husband as she felt she wanted more ''me'' time. Some women like to be surrounded by their own company and indulge in their own hobbies by having healthy alone time for a short period. So, it can actually be quite a beneficial thing. Thought this was an interesting perspective and wanted to share.

[missdee]

Am in a polygamous marriage n everyone has their own house n car...we only meet during special occasions. Everything is okay, everyone minds their own business.

[bashbash]

All I see is broken homes, wives destroyed, children destroyed, husband's have wives all over the place, Boones happy, Muslim ummah is destroyed, I've seen sisters leave Islam and when sisters leave then the children live too. I swear this ummah is destroyed... Why should I ruin another Muslim sister for my happiness, so no to polygamy.

[thesolutionisgod]

My Sister, I have been blessed to live in many countries due to my work. I've seen rows of Thailand women sitting on blocks prostituting themselves out. I've been to Dubai where I've spoken with African Sisters who fled Africa just to be in worse situations. Meaning, their passports have been taken and they are doing whatever they can to survive. My wife saved many Filipinas in Kuwait who were being enslaved housemaids. They were only able to escape when they took out the trash. I have a dear friend who has 4 kids and a master's degree, and was subjected to cleaning houses for 20 years in Israel. I can keep on going through life experiences, but I don't won't to fill up your comments section. When you have been to places like Hong Kong and people are literally living in cages to survive. As a man, I want to step in and say I can be your protector, your strength, your husband. I once had a topless Filipina with a baby suckling on one breast, begging me for money. Again as a man, I want nothing more than to say, my sister allow me to take you out of your situation. Western women don't know what's it like to sleep on a dirt floor, night after night. Western women don't know how it is to live in a house with no electric or running water. I've stayed in places where the toilet was a whole in the ground, right beside the pig's pen. It's very difficult for western women to accept a man having more than one wife when they can depend on the government for welfare. I've walked some streets and have seen whole families with children sleeping on a card board box or snuggled up on a bridge. I have a wonderful wife, who came from such humble beginings. I built a house for her, established businesses for her, etc. She is the best wife a man could ask for. With that said, I am only one man, yet there are so many Sisters struggling, from Brazil, India, Dominican Republic, Sudan, the list goes on. If I could be a protector, and provider by the Will of Allah to a Sister who is truly humble In spirit and is not going to try and destroy my first marriage, I would take a second wife. When you have slept on beds made of sticks which leaves imprints in your back, you simply want to say, Sister I'm not going to let you live in this condition. And to end this, I have helped families through charities in order to get people on their feet. I've been able to create businesses in which they could build their on homes. So yes, I have helped people, wanting nothing in return but Allah's rewards. Praise be to Allah.

[dananori]

I watched a video of a reverted german woman, she said i became muslim because of polygamy because i know very well that my husband has 11 concubines at a time with me so i realized that polygamy is a wonderful solution for those men . We have to say Allah knows best

[felicial.]

Polygamy in the context of islam CAN be beautiful IF all parties are in agreement with that type of marriage AND if the husband is following mandate of providing equally across wives/children. BUT the damage can be irreversible on multiple levels if the before mentioned things are not so...at any rate, all parties need to remember that polygamy is ALLOWED NOT REQUIRED so just as the man has the right to desire it, the wife has the right NOT to desire it and shouldn't be forced to stay if she doesn't feel comfortable in that type of arrangement. Allah knows best which is why he didn't make it mandatory and actually somewhat discouraged it. BUT Allah set very clear guidelines for when it should be considered and HOW it should be practiced.

[Queenfisa]

I am a 2nd wife. I was open to being in a monogamous marriage and then going into polygyny or coming in as an incoming wife.

[thegracetalents]

Being a second wife there is no problem. It pains when you are a first wife he brings a second one. Or you are a second wife and there goes he brings a third one next you.

[AinunHamzah]

I’m single, a few days ago there is someone come to propose me to become second wife, bcz he not satisfied with his wife and couldn’t give him baby..
He really want have a kids that’s good acty but I just thinking there is so many singles man wan to marry me too then why i have to choose him and being a stupid girl.. I can’t handle my jealousy and I don’t want suffering my whole life in marriage so I rejected him..

[halimakimathi]

If I'm not your Khadija then I'm not the woman for you. Period.

[sugadelrey]

All I know is these brother(most of the time narcissists) and sisters who like to be the 5th wheel need their own dating app or something, they need to stay away from people that don't want to be bothered with this life style!

[blueocean]

I will NEVER advise any woman to become second wife. It happens to my mom and she went through trauma with my father. He was keep mentioning about his first wife essentials to her daily. What make me angry on her why she should choose a married man as her husband and give birth to (2) children. She ruined her happiness and ours as well.
** Women please be awaken!!
Don’t marry a married man or divorcee.
Believe me… a man always he can’t remove his first wife’s thoughts from his mind.

[yazeedabdul]

No women would choose to have her husband take another wife. It is a women's nature to want her man for herself.
However, if a man fears zina, then it might be obligatory for him to take another wife, given that he fulfills all the required conditions. And Allah knows best.

[JahannamHellfire]

Polygamy is only a test for men and after reading Quran, I wont accept polygamy marriages in my life!. Polygamy was sent a test and I couldn't hurt another sister! I wont accept.