How to Get Unstuck: Self-Efficacy, Learned Helplessness, and Creating a Growth Mindset

If you’re tired of feeling stuck, this one’s for you. @RickHanson and I explore how we can overcome learned helplessness and change our lives by developing self-efficacy: the ability to influence our environments and control our motivation and behavior. Key topics include why we get stuck, the science of learned helplessness, focusing on effort over talent, creating a growth mindset, and balancing acceptance and agency. You’ll learn how to improve self-efficacy, embrace who you are, and become truly confident in your ability to grow.

Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:50 Why are we prone to feeling stuck?
4:40 Fear of failure and negativity bias
8:30 Learned helplessness and the dog study
18:05 Difficulties identifying patterns we’re close to
20:15 The biological function of shame
22:10 The connection between our emotions, our body, and our sense of self-efficacy
23:25 Chronic illness and pain, and recognizing what is and is not in your control
25:30 What is a growth mindset?
28:10 Nature and nurture, talent and effort, and our metrics of self-worth
34:40 Rick’s practical tips for improving self-efficacy (complete with soundtrack)
40:15 Creating a coherent self-narrative
42:30 An example from Forrest of claiming agency
46:25 Advice for someone in their late 20s when feeling stuck
52:00 Building on and reinforcing our successes
57:05 Determination
1:00:10 Recap

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[tytyler]

It’s wild to see such a healthy relationship/conversation between a parent and a child. I feel like this is rare I don’t know anybody who can talk like this with their elders

[OR]

It's not being denied the wooden spoon. It's being ignored by the person on whom your very physical and psychological existence depends. Misattunement in early childhood is devastating.

[MekonenMeteor]

Ignoring physiology in this discussion—movement, breath, and mobility—is like sitting in a boat and rowing on the beach, while thinking you're actually on the water. It's akin to attempting to count all the leaves on a tree: incredibly difficult, exhausting, and nearly impossible. Managing emotions by sheer cognitive force in the way they are discussing is what the west has yet understand IS the problem.

God be with us 🙏🏼

[markonahleyes]

I enjoy your parent-son relationship.. always delightful to see it

[bodymindsoul]

Insightful discussion.
Sad, society pushes productivity, doing, always lacking, never enough instead of BEING which naturally promotes growth, agency and peace of mind.
Perhaps these pushed values in society reflect the plethora of depression, anxiety and suicide.

[SteveBurksMusic]

This is an exceptionally valuable episode.

[MarcLemaycaveman]

To listen and watch for an hour makes me feel I've gained a hundred thousand hours.Thank you to you and your dad.

[destroyraiden]

This is cute you get to interview your dad and he wasn't in full dad mode!

I appreciate your dad actually mentioned disability and actually being stuck is a real thing cuz 99% of people just assume the disabled are making up excuses and can just move with their pittance SS checks which are fully consumed by the end of the month for the vast majority of them they're lucky to have $1.00 in their check come the last day of it.

[djszal]

Forrest, your dad is so cool. The laugh you guys share at 38:15 is wholesome.

[karenbird]

You can remind a person that is stuck to GET ON THEIR OWN SIDE.

[hristuppiteitinu]

As someone going through a life transition, I highly appreciate this episode 🙏

[Jazminksie]

This is awesome, and I needed this so much right now. Perfect timing! Thank you for your hard work, time, public service, expertise, experience, and education. You are appreciated!

[featherheart]

I would like to hear more about how a person can recover from brain injury. Actual physical damage as apposed to emotional damage. I have acquired both physical and emotional damage over the years.
I love both of your caring mannerisms. There is something very genuinely real about how you both deal with hard topics. Thank you.

[FireandFrostHVAC]

“The only thing that guarantees failure in the future is not trying”

[karenschreiber]

I loved this episode! One of my favorites. I loved that you and Rick were together in your studio. Your chemistry is so wonderful and I think it was even better with you both in the same room.

[LM-uqnv]

My experience is that self-efficacy is a reflection of privilege.

[kslaw]

Wow! I DEEPLY relate to this discussion. I'm currently where you were at in beginning the process of cultivating self-compassion and the desire to take care of yourself and with this I feel hopeful that I'm quickly approaching a breakthrough in my life. Visualizing myself as a loving parent to my child self has helped immensely. I strongly feel that people simply don't deem themselves worthy of being taken care of and this is what leads to self-neglect (physically, financially, emotionally, etc.). Narrowly focusing on taking the smallest possible step forward and reflecting upon how that feels and how you want to feel is a must for those trying to cultivate a sense of agency. Thank you so much for this. I tear up at the kind of relationship you have with your father

[pickletown]

You dear sweet humans are blowing my mind with your timing. Haven't listened yet but already feeling more at ease seeing this resource. Thank you so much for all you do! It's an absolute joy to tune in every week, my father-son friends.

[janislevyify]

Wow! Great discussion! Need this! Thank you! ❤

During childhood anything less than perfect, like getting an A, not an A+, led to criticism. I can break through with encouragement and support. Without that, the thought of doing anything challenging leads to inertia. Sometimes I break through anyway. But sometimes avoid.

So going to. Iisten to this again! 😊

[sherryparker]

Love the energy of you both in the same room. Your dad's playful approach and the loving and patient way you listened reminded me of me and my son during a long afternoon chat over the pandemic. We also had some very emotional talks, and that was also loving, and it was cathartic. Thanks for sharing your truth 🙏 wisdom and love. ❤