the age-gap romantic relationship complex in shoujo anime

inspired by film fatale's video on the changing portrayal of student-teacher relationships

reverse harem and love triangle anime stans, please don't come for me. this video is purely educational and hoping to enlighten people who watch similar shows to be cautious of the messages that they are sending. i would be lying if i said i didn't like any of these shows because at the time i neglected to see the true harm the display of love was. i really hoped you gained something from watching this video. i'm having so much fun making these. let me know what other anime you would like me to talk about.

ANIME ANALYZED
Marmalade Boy
Brothers Conflict
Nana
Kodocha

HONORABLE MENTIONS
fushigi yuugi
my wife is a high school student (yikes!!)
kids on the slope
domestic girlfriend
peach girl
yona of the dawn (great show!! highly recommend)
hanasakeru seishounen

💻 sources 💻

TIMESTAMPS
0:00 ↠ intro
1:57 ↠ age-gap relationships 101
2:45 ↠ marmalade boy
6:54 ↠ brothers conflict
10:05 ↠ nana
15:57 ↠ kodocha
19:38 ↠ final thoughts/outro

➢ basic boi signing off ☺︎

✰ support your creator ✰

[itsbasicboi]

Hey besties, I totally forgot to talk about CardCaptor Sakura and Fruits Basket, my apologies. Noralities made a fantastic video dissecting Rika's relationship with her teacher. I wanna reiterate that this video is NOT to demonize shoujo anime; I just wanted to talk about the different portrayals of age gap relationships. I definitely should have worded my arguments better, but hey, this was one of my first video essays; what do you expect lol.

[toothian]

THANK YOU for mentioning Brothers Conflict. It made me so uncomfortable the first time I watched it because Ema keeps mentioning how she's always wanted a huge family and brothers, so for all of her older step brothers to actively pursue her and even force themselves on her is not only disgusting but also saddening. The least problematic brother is Yusuke since he's the same age as her and never made her uncomfortable despite liking her too (to be fair, though, he liked her before they became siblings, so it's more of an unfortunate case for him lol). Anyway, loved the video, especially your portion on Nana.

[ladynoluck]

Hurts my soul that Fruits Basket, a series that covers abuse and trauma so thoroughly and well, contains multiple young girl and adult man relationships and presents them as acceptable and without issue. Most worryingly, it’s usually with the girls who had traumatic pasts/upbringings (aka the more “mature” ones) and includes one relationship between a middle schooler (age 14) and her student teacher (age ~22).

[HellsingSora]

NANA WAS ON PURPOSE IN ORDER TO SHOW HOW CHILDREN ARE EASILY USED AND ABUSED! Especially Hachi with that older guy. It's something that really happens and NANA made it clear it was wrong and that Hachi was just played. And about Shin it shows how children can get lost without parental figures and force themselves to become "adults" sooner. NANA was WARNING about these cases and not romanticizing it or glorifying it.

[bluubandette]

Sure its natural for kids to crush on the teachers but honestly why did they push it further?

[feralcatgirl]

This is a problem not only in Japanese animanga but also in western movies/dramas/books, esp aimed at girls and women. I can't escape from it and I hate seeing it everywhere. I really hope this changes soon

[Nutmeg]

When it comes to Kodocha, it’s the one instance of this topic that doesn’t put a terrible taste in my mouth. They make it apparent very early on that Rei thinks of Sana as a daughter figure and only goes along with it when she says he is her boyfriend because he wants her to be happy. Rei feels in debt to Sana because she gave him a place to live when he was homeless. The one thing that Rei was really at fault with was going along with Sana’s boyfriend fantasy because it ended up hurting her later on. Thankfully Rei felt great remorse for the errors in his ways and they resumed their father/daughter like relationship and Rei continued to be Sana’s manager. Kodocha handles relationships very well in my option 😃

[iamataldi]

I think sailor moon is also a hood example.

I really loved it but usagi being 14 snd mamoru like a college freshman was so weird

[Sailor_Universe]

It's funny because even in Marmalade Boy's sequel manga, when Miki tells her siblings how Meiko and Namura got together, one of them goes "She got with her teacher? Isn't that bad?" And Miki just responded they were a special case. I used to believe there were exceptions to the rule, but now that I'm older, I realize this is fiction. Their relationship is an unrealistic portrayal of student/teacher affairs. Its romantized for entertainment and fantasy purposes, but in real life, its terrifying.

[_lemony_tart]

Do you want to know what shoujo anime really freaked me out with it's age gap relationship? Card Captor Sakura. I don't remember if they showed it in the old anime but in the manga one of Sakuras friends is in love with their homeroom teacher and he feels the same...ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHILDREN!!! It was seen as totally okay and by the end of the manga we were left with a "oh yea they love eachother and they know its wrong he is gonna wait for her" or something...ugh

[paolalapi]

Nana is for adults not for teenagers, And they speak about that toxic relationship and the bad decisions, It is an anime to reflect the bad, it does not talk about the fact that none of the behaviors are good

[choux]

What's crazy is that when i was 12, I was just enjoying these stories for the fantasy while still being aware that relationships between adults and minors IRL were "wrong". But my child brain still couldn't grasp the very real connotations that came with an age gap that large, and I thought while reading, "Well, if he's a nice person, I guess it's okay for them to proceed". Such was the case for stories like Nana and Fruits Basket for me. The adult characters in these scenarios were never drawn as actual human beings with ulterior motives, but rather as attractive, kind, respectful idols hiding only surface level flaws, like "clumsiness" or being "too polite".

[damatically]

You know i feel bad for hachi. She got married to takumi and he proceeds to gaslight her in their marriage and cheats on her 😭😭😭😭

[Gross]

Not defending Brother’s conflict bc I never watched it and was a grown ass woman when it came out… but let’s talk about what these stories happen. So in harem animes we usually see a very basic or downright ugly guy who has all of these ridiculously beautiful and interesting girls and women falling for him. There usually is a mother figure lady, the too young one, and the a number of other relationships. Men use these stories as wish fulfillment. They are equally as problematic but the way most societies are set us - men have power. So even if some of the relationships with the older women are predatory, the author and viewers don’t read it that way because of how our society thinks boys ALWAYS want female attention. The only story I ever saw depict this realistically was The Perks of being a Wallflower.
Now for reverse harem. We have to understand the society man if the society these women live in. In Asia and many African and middle eastern countries and honestly places all over the world women are not really allowed to openly desire male attention. Any mention of liking male attention makes a girl a slut on many of these settings. So when authors create stories, they make the male character super aggressive and put this girl in many situations where “she couldn’t help it.” This removes the ownest from the female lead. “It’s not her fault any of this happened. These guys are just so into her, they couldn’t help but force themselves on her.” With this, she gets to remain innocent and the men are shown as ravenous monsters which many women see men in those societies as. Ah it’s very interesting but my comment is too long at this point.

[tamerafarly]

Great Video! 👍
I hated that Meiko married Mr. Namura. He was terrible. When a middle schooler confesses her love for you, you don't get in a relationship with them. You're supposed to let them down easy and then put some space between you.

Meiko had a whole arc about getting over Mr. Namura. She had a boy her own age that she was starting to fall for and a future career as a writer. And then he decides to send her a letter and tear down all her hard work. The series tried to paint her parents as unreasonable for not wanting them to get married.

[sruthidivvela]

I liked nana but found relationship between shin and Reira problematic . I somehow feel the show shld have addressed it better . They did good job with hachi but shin's relationship with older women made me really uncomfortable. I am happy that u addressed this topic

[Nutmeg]

In regards to Marmalade Boy I was really disappointed that Meiko ended up with Mr. Namura not only because of the age gap but also I really liked Meiko with Satoshi. 😆Satoshi had Meiko’s best interest at heart and she had great chemistry with him too in my opinion. Also they were the same age which is a total plus lol 😂

[Sushidogbat]

I have nothing against age gap romance but only when the person is mature and at least out of college

[leslievalenzuela]

Brothers Conflict is originally an otome game (dating sim game).
She starts with 17 years old, then 18. Yes, most of them are flirty, but in a short anime you can't develop each character route, so you really can't see her relationship with all of them. And I would say that this is more of a "mature" anime/game than a regular shoujo. Like NANA.
Where I do find it messed up is in most CLAMP relationships and many other shoujo mangas where an adult male takes care of the protagonist as children and end up as a couple. That's really gross.

[Gross]

Let’s also talk about Shoji from Nana. I think that’s her ex’s name who cheated on her. The girl he cheats on Nana with literally looked like a middle schooler. I always thought Shoji was a creep