Dying for Beginners | Dr Kathryn Mannix

In modern British society, death is out of sight and behind closed doors. Many of us lack direct exposure to the dying process - with all sorts of potential emotional and spiritual consequences for how we grieve our loved ones, as well as how we prepare for our own deaths.

What does the dying process actually look like?

A short animation by Emily Downe, and voiced by Dr Kathryn Mannix which guides you gently on a step by step journey through the process of dying.

Acclaimed author, speaker and former palliative care physician Dr Kathryn Mannix has spent her medical career working with people who have incurable, advanced illnesses. The author of two Sunday Times Bestsellers – With The End in Mind and Listen, Dr Mannix is on a mission to reclaim the public’s understanding of dying.

CREDITS
Written and voiced by Dr Kathryn Mannix
Directed and designed by Emily Downe
Animated by Martha Halliday
Music and sound by Jan Willem de With
Produced by Theos with thanks to The Fetzer institute

*****

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[pammymusicever]

This is exactly how I watched my Mom pass. Days before, as the family sat and watched an old football game, talking and reminiscing, my mother just watched my daughter, who sat next to her, with the most incredible look of love in her eyes. I will never forget that moment. The last day was exactly as this film describes. She was unconscious, shallow breathing, the "death rattle", the family all gathered around her. Two daughters, my husband, and her three grandchildren. We watched her take her last breath and she was at peace. I hope my last moments will be spent with my family. I will never regret being there for her. When she was younger, she was frightened of dying. As she grew older, she no longer feared it, but she never discussed it. That was okay. My job was to make sure she went out with love and peace around her. I accomplished that. This is a beautiful film.

[Winters]

I'm currently sitting with my mum who is dying, and I'm playing the sound of the sea as she loved the sea. This video is beautifully made. Thank you x

[traceyleedham]

Just how my mum passed. Now I understand. Ty ❤

[jitterbug]

I lost my Nan only two weeks ago. After hearing Kathryn talk only 3 months ago. I felt more prepared, more at peace, and more capable of enduring the process of being there for her whilst she was dying because I'd had space to think about it prior to needing to deal with it in person. Her talk helped me enormously to understand what to expect and helped me model how to approach those conversations with my family. Talking about death, and allowing space to understand and learn about death is such a gift. Thank you for working with Kathryn and making this animation.

[RaeWeniger]

With your beautiful voice Kathryn, this simple powerful message, artfully animated and sweetly accompanied, is perfect in every way!

[suzannemortimer]

Thank you for this. My elderly mother passed recently. She basically went to bed for 17 days taking only sips of water. Everything was peaceful. Myself and the Care Home staff sang hymns around her bed during those days and I prayed. In the last two days mum repeatedly pointed across the room and said that someone was there. She eventually said it was her sister. She just stopped breathing one morning, no death rattle and no distress. I miss her very much.

[gillhayes]

Excellent! I hope this is made into a booklet that can be used (and read!) by health workers involved in the care of dying patients., perhaps adding the role of medication to control distressing symptoms.

[CatherineShovlin]

Beautiful! Thanks Kathryn. As an End of Life doula I love the content and style of this "normalizing" video

[franohan]

This is incredibly beautiful. Thanks to all who were involved for putting it together.

[SpokenTruthfilms]

What an excellent video. Thank you Kathryn, Emily and the Thoes team

[KeithJohnson.]

At every step of the way the Hospice folks were great at helping us understand what we were seeing was normal and was not being experienced by my mom as distress.
Looking back on it, that way of presenting information piecemeal felt herky-jerky and left me wondering at each point what sort of mysterious thing would happen next.
I wish I could’ve seen this video early in the process as it gently demystifies the arch of what would likely happen in her final week & more importantly what my mom’s experience of it would be.

[briancrowle]

Thank you so much for that - wonderfully reassuring.

[grahambarrett]

That was a really beautiful video, thank you ❤

[waverleyc.]

Wow! What a good video! The voice was very calming and it contained good information..🙏

[gjhall]

Thank you so much for making this and sharing it with everybody. It was incredible.

[RAMurillo]

My Mom and Dad are now dancing with our Ancestors.

[gatorfan]

I wish that I'd seen this before my mother died several years ago. I would have done things a lot differently. Thank you for making this video.

[sheenabell]

Beautiful and inspiring film Kathryn…. From
Sheena, Flo’s Auntie

[chrisj]

Sorry, while this person makes some valid comments about dying, this seems something of a fluff piece to mollify and comfort the living. I have had experience of five dying persons, some stoic, some frightened, some not wanting to die, some wanting to die, but not one has been a good death. I am not saying that a good death is not possible; I'm sure it is. But that has not been my experience.

[maemaeinspace]

Kathryn why have you left out the important if not MOST important factors of spiritual, unexpected and other worldly encounters and episodes? Why did you not normalise this aspect if dying? With your experience you must know how normal these experiences are and how most people are frightened and confused by what is very normal in the days or weeks before a person dies. I feel this was very irresponsible and inauthentic of you. If we cannot normalise this aspect of dying, the fact that we don’t simply cease to exist and that we in fact live on how can we ever return to people not being sacred of the dying process and help them embrace what is a normal and beautiful part of our life here on earth? Instead people like you keep the fear going and make death scary and difficult for not only those passing over but also for those who are caring for them and especially those who are so scared by the process that they make themselves altogether absent and miss out in what can be some of the most beautiful, growth promoting and life changing experiences of their lives. Those who are exposed to death through their careers should do everything they can to educate and help others become more comfortable with the life event which is as important and as precious as birth.
I challenge you to go further in your work and be completely open with what else you know about the process of dying and by doing so really help us to normalise death.