GIANT WATERBOMB CATAPULT!

We made slingshots from car parts and launched water bombs in our own Grand Challenge!

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[asherwagner]

Did you hear about the Mexican magician he says I will disappear on the count of three uno dos *poof* he disappears without a tres

[jakemiller]

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are travelling by train to a conference.

 At the station, the three Aussies each buy tickets and watch as the
 three Kiwis buy only a single ticket.

 "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an
 Aussie.

 "Watch and you'll see, " answers a Kiwi.

 They all board the train.

 The Aussies take their respective seats but all three Kiwis cram
 into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

 Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
 collecting tickets.

 He knocks on the bathroom door and says, " Ticket, please".

 "The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket
 in hand.

 The conductor takes it and moves on.

 The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.

 So after the conference, the Aussies decide to copy the Kiwis on the
 return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all
 that).

 When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the
 return trip.

 To their astonishment, the Kiwis don't buy a ticket at all. "How are
 you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie.

 Watch and you'll see, " answers a Kiwi.

 When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a bathroom and
 the three Kiwis cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

 Shortly afterward, one of the Kiwis leaves his bathroom and walks
 over to the bathroom where the Aussies are hiding.

 He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

[mattevoaus]

Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So that when they return to port, they can scandanavian.

[christopherstephenson]

Whats the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the Flag is a big plus

[jacobfreedman]

Blonde joke: A blind guy walks into a bar, and asks a girl "do you want to hear a blonde joke?" The girl says, "I am blonde and I Know karate my friend is blonde and she knows tai quando, and the bartender is blonde, and she has a gun with her. Are you sure you still want to tell the joke?" The blind guy said back, " Well not if I have to explain it three times."

[nicksb]

Two guys were in a boat with three cigars and no matches.
How will they smoke the cigars?
Answer: they throw one cigar overboard, that makes the boat a cigar lighter.

[jarenclupper]

(Bill and John were talking)
Bill: what is the difference between a piano, a fish, and glue
John: idk
Bill: you can tune a piano but you can’t tune a fish
John: what about the glue
Bill: I knew you would get stuck there

[traehouston]

3 drunk men call a taxi
When the taxi driver arrives he decides to play a prank.
He turns the car on and immediately turns it back off.
Looking back, he says, "Ok, we have reached you destination."
The first drunk man pays him, the second drunk man thanks him, the third slaps him.
Thinking he was found out he asks, "What was that for!?"
The drunk man replies "Slow down!! You were driving too fast!"

[carsonsankel]

Why can't you ever date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

[iain_moss]

I burnt my hawaiian pizza last night. Should've put it on aloha setting. #44club

[jessiestone]

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him, " Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your stupid cat!"

[jarredstone]

I lost my mood ring I don't know how to feel about it

[dragonqueen]

Did you hear about the paint catapult that won the competition?
It won with flying colors.

[bryannalley]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.

One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.

He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on!

The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'

[michaelweston]

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.

[tommyrichards]

Why did the comment say owww?
Because it got pinned

[wtsiuvh]

Two men walked into a bar...



You'd think the second one would've seen it.

[chronoskid]

Knock Knock
Who’s There
Old Little Lady
Old Little Lady Who
Oh I Didn’t Know You Could Yodel

[ethan]

What kind of milk does a cow that's past the horizon make?
past-your-eyes milk🐮

What kind of fish looks the best?
A sword fish, because it's always looking sharp!!!

How do you now that the shellfish just got back from the gym?
Because he's looking kind of clammy💦

What did the salmon say when it swam into a wall?
Oh, Damm

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
You call it a fsh, hahaha

What do a fish and a piano have in common?
they both have scales

What do you get when you go to a fruit bank?
A waterme-loan🍉

What did the cashier say to their customer?
I don't know because I checked out.

If you laughed at any of them like so that more people can read this and laugh cuz my jokes are that good. (My friend made two of these jokes)

[franciscoruiz]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"