Paranoid Aliens

We often accuse people of being paranoid about extraterrestrials, flying saucers, and UFOs - but what if it's the aliens who are paranoid? And could you survive having paranoid aliens as your galactic neighbors?

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Credits:
Alien Civilizations: Paranoid Aliens
Episode 216a, Season 5 E50a December 15, 2019

Written by:
Isaac Arthur

Editors:
Jerry Guern
Keith Blockus

Graphics by:
Mihail Yordanov

Produced & Narrated by
Isaac Arthur

Music Manager:

Music:

[isaacarthurSFIA]

Thank you everyone for all the well-wishes and congratulations on Sarah & I's engagement! And don't forget to vote in the current episode topic poll :)

[SocksWithSandals]

"Clawed its way up Darwin's blood-soaked ladder".
"Darwin's four billion year deep corpse pile" was a tough line to beat.
Keep going, Isaac. I want to hear a macabre Darwin analogy in every episode 😜

[reinux]

"Hypocrisy is no rarer than paranoia, and they often hang out together."

[NomisCasio]

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.” I was so expecting this quote! Great video, once again.

[greygoo]

9 paranoid aliens thought this video was about them.

[thomas.]

Tinfoil hat on: what if the ‘asteroid’ that wiped out the dinosaurs is a relativistic kill missile

[kevincrady]

Aliens: "If there's anyone out there, they'll want to eat us! HIDE!"
Humans: "...To boldly go..."
Aliens: "THEY'RE HEEERE!

[vipondiu]

Ahhh yes! I'm not particularly interested in the Fermi Paradox but all these pure-logic-soaked episodes are really enjoyable to me precisely for that level of deduction and reasoning!

[blaxson]

They're not paranoid when some of us really are out to get them...

[maxk]

Alien armada commander: has the Earth reconnaissance team reported in yet?
XO: yes sir, but...theres an issue...a big issue
Commander: what issue could there possibly be? We are 20 million years older, have weapons they couldn't even understand, and free access to the abundance of space.
XO: It seems, sir, that they've been preparing to fend of an invasion.
Commander: Our invasion?
XO: No, any invasion. It seems that they've had their best and brightest minds conducting and documenting endless war games where in they get invaded or taken over or confronted by various or multiple alien threats that they have to then subvert, overcome, and destroy.
Commander: How many are involved in these war games?
XO: All of them sir....almost the entire species. They have integrated it into society as a form of entertainment, sometimes written, sometimes spoken, sometimes through recorded audio visual performances. It is so prevalent that the entire endevour accounts for a not insignificant portion of the world economy. Sir, our first three alternate invasion strategies have been predicted and countered in these war games already.
Commander: send the report and some samples of these war games to the terminal in my quarters.
*4 hour later*
Commander: Dear gods these people are savages! XO, get us the fuck out of Dodge before those monkeys start taking pot shots at us with ICBMs!

[davidroddini]

“You can wreck the galaxy from the comfort of your own home”

Great now any aliens watching have even more to be afraid of. You just reminded humans that they don’t have to leave earth to be a threat to alien races.

[BlueArcStreaming]

I can see an alien galactic civ with a cultural streak of paranoia due to their own experience and history, perhaps in their past encountering another civ in which terrible catastrophic things happened.

[yeager]

For the pirate video, please say “Yar har fiddle de dee, being a pirate is all right for me”

[FrankFrankly]

I always was intrigued by the alien threat in Greg Bear's Forge of God/Anvil of Stars books. They were so paranoid of any competition that they sent out Berserker probes to destroy any advanced lifeforms.

[IvyLuvsYa]

How about an episode about scientific philosophical explorer aliens. Species who are confident enough in their own tech to ensure survival and either reproduce very slowly or have chosen to never or rarely reproduce and hence have little interest in expansion and colonization. Their primary main interest being travelling and meeting new life and learning the mysteries of reality. Perhaps you could call them benevolent nomads.

[merbst]

*Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't all out to get me!*

[demogadget]

That "gray alien" with teeth is pretty haunting...

[Clone]

Scientists: "Yay, we have made first contact!"

Aliens: "We are the Borg, you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile"

Scientists: ...

[Supreme-Emperor-Mittens]

*2:04** - Well ... someone's cheeks are gonna get clapped.*
lol

[Lorax_Tribe]

"Love me or hate me, but please- think I'm special!" Once you get past all the conspiracy theories, you realize that anyone who has the technology to perceive us will understand that we are trapped in our little local corner of space, and will likely destroy ourselves before becoming a threat to even the local universe. Such hubris to think otherwise.