A Final Look at My Dad's House

Today's episode of the Bald Explorer is a little personal. My father died a couple of years ago from dementia. My sister and I have been trying to sell his 1930s bungalow for a while. We now have a buyer and the sale will take place fairly soon. I have come to say a final goodbye to the old place and at the same time reveal some of the history of dealing with my dad with this evil disease and the problems it caused.

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[ExploreDerbyshire]

I looked after my mum who had dementia, for fifteen years, luckily I was able to get enough support to keep her in her own home. This video was very moving and sad . The fact that many people with dementia get ill treated is terrible because they become like children again and deserve to be well cared for, not slapped or shouted at

[Jane_and_Meg]

Hi Richard, I looked after my Mum who had Alzheimer's for a number of years but like you found we reached a point where it became impossible to look after her anymore... - we had to make the heartbreaking decision to put her into a care home as Dad had vascular dementia and then of course dealing with the guilt once she was in there. Again like you found my Mum sat there all day watching daytime TV and before you know it she was unable to walk anymore...😢 The worse thing for me was that my Mum no longer recognised me in the last six months of her life😔 In good health before Alzheimer's claimed her and her personality she had a fantastic sense of humour and apart from being my Mum was my best friend... So it was all v difficult and so sad to see her deterioration. I try to remember her before she was ill that was what got me through after she passed.

[davidanderson]

Hi Richard what an open and honest touching video.I have worked in mental health and my wife, as a nurse, spent some years working in a nursing home.
What I felt I wanted to say to you, is, in both our experiences that yes the mind fades, however the feelings remain.Your dad would of known he was loved.
Your caring for him is love made manifest .
We both send you our love .
Thank you for your videos they are a real gift to us all out here.

[vivienbailey]

God Bless Richard to you and your sister. 🙌
To loose your mind is more traumatic than loosing your limbs. Take Care and All The Best 👍🏽

[damianjones]

Richard, your a credit to your Dad. This sad period in life along with all the troubles and worries it must have brought is now past. I wish you happier times ahead. 😉 👍

[ifitistobeitisuptome]

That was a lovely little house & garden your dad lived in.
I would be so happy to live out my life in a house like that, so much potential for the next owners!
Thank you for sharing with us all Richard.

[leighmac]

I can identify with so much of of what Richard says. I looked after my parents, my father with dementia (though amazingly physically fit until 91yrs) and my mother with disability and completely dependent. The weight of responsibility was hard. Then the emotional process of sorting through their lifetime’s belongings. I sometimes wonder how I coped.

[KevinsRambles]

This is Richard's personal remembrance of his late father so why can't people allow him to do this without giving him a thumbs down. Your still engaging with the video and YouTube.
It doesn't bother Richard to much but it does me especially this video.
Your probably the same people all the time that does it so why don't you just do one.
Well done Richard and thanks for sharing this personal journey and look round your fathers house

[edisloud]

Thanks for sharing this Richard. Bless you sir. The first time I saw your father in a video and learned of the situation I felt an instant connection, a sad unfortunate one, but a connection nonetheless. My grandfather was like a dad to me, and my best friend too. We went everywhere together, I never had a day away from him the last 7 years of his life, we spent every minute of every day together. I lived with him 14 years, and had to give up even part time work in 2013 as he couldn't be left on his own.

His character was still there most of the time, we explored England, much like yourself. Getting out seemed to help grandads dementia a bit. Sadly the exploring stayed closer and closer to home as the dementia took a hold. We'd go miles every day, me pushing his wheelchair. Thanks for bringing up topics many won't speak of, like wiping bums. Grandad was also a boxer in his day, he never forgot how to throw a good punch, as I learned the hard way haha. I'd take a hundred punches off the heavyweight champion of the world, if I could just have him back though. Infact I often felt proud of the strength he'd find. I wish we had got to show you around the Romney marshes. I spent years of my life exploring them with him. Well done for the job you did with your dad, thank you for sharing and mentioning topics many shy away from. My upmost respect and condolences.

[barbaratg]

Your dad was an amazing man who produced an amazing son.

[annenewton]

Thank you for sharing your deeply personal video Richard. I understand what you have been through with your Dad. My Dad died 10 years ago with vascular dementia, it’s heart breaking. Plus his second wife was difficult too .

[orlas]

Your father would be please to think that the bungalow
will make some family a lovely home near to sea, eventually .

As an older property Richard, you have presented it very well .
Tidy and clean . Well done . I know that it is hard work !

You and your sister will always have your memories to treasure,
and those are worth all the ‘ tea in China ‘, so to speak !

“ Life goes on “, as they say 💐

[mwoxo]

My wife and I lived with and looked after my mother for the final 6 years of her life, during which time she had dementia. She finally passed away in May 2020. Like your father she forgot how to swallow at the end and we would be attempting to feed and water her with a pipette. The end lasted a similar time, about 5 days. It was very traumatic. You are changed from the experience and you're right to say that it does make you grow up a notch. We don't live in denial but it is hard to think of her in depth as it nearly always brings on a tear or two. Good luck with coping with the loss.

[downsphile]

Candid, brave, and quite moving, Richard. Thank you.

[michaelwheatland]

Gosh just came across this video, it was a heartfelt tribute to your dad, my brother is in a similar state and it is heartbreaking to see my niece struggling not only with the nuts and bolts of dementia but perhaps most distressingly the emotional toll it’s taking on her.

[misscoutts]

A salutory tale for people moving in together later in life. When one dies, the other will be thrown out.

[lisatruthful]

My sisters and brother sold our family home 4 years ago, very traumatic, lots of happy memories and sad ones too, me an my twin sister were born there, way back in 1960, as they used to say "double trouble ".
Your dad had a very nice home, sad to hear that his last few years he suffered with Dementia.
Thankyou for sharing.

[davidhawley]

I lived something like this in 2017. I felt myself to be "The Man Who Sold The World." I was very despondent about it. People who couldn't tolerate the depressed unFriended me over it. That was tremendously helpful of course.

[tectorama]

So many of us can relate to what you have been going through Richard. My parents both lived into
their 90's. Mum had dementia for the last couple of years of her life, and thankfully Dad only
suffered from it in his final couple of weeks. Clearing out their bungalow in Norfolk was a rotten
thing to have to do, throwing away all of the things they had collected over the years.
My sister wanted to spend money on the place before selling, but the estate agent said to sell it
as it was. As the new buyers will want things done their way. We had a buyer even before it went
on the market, who paid the full asking price.

[breathfocused]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Really heart felt. Looking forward to watching your videos