How to Make Sure It's More Than Just a Casual Hookup | Matthew Hussey

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[francescaspencer]

For me i cant establish a physical connection with out an emotional connection. It's all based on trust for me.

[stayslickwithkit]

The No.1 way to establish passed the physical connection is to prioritise 'emotional' time with him instead of just the 'physical' time.

Because of how a guys mind works (wondering when do i get to have physical intimacy with her) as a woman its important to prioritise spending time with a guy where sex is off the table otherwise that's going to be the only thing on his mind whenever he meets you.
If he's only thinking about the potential of sex on the date with you, he's not thinking about who you are, what your dreams are and whether you both are a right fit.
Remove sex from the table on dates and thats what he'll focus on, who YOU are :)


Thanks Matthew, always a inspiration for my channel!

[mmlw]

deep attraction: formula 1.chemistry/physical animalistic attraction 2. Perceived value. 3. Perceived challenge 4. Perceived connection.

[rivasheart]

I agree in some ways. But i really don’t have time for games. If we connect, I am going to show u who I am and how I love. If someone can’t give what I put into a relationship and make it just as meaningful for me, then I will let that person go.

[sunshinedayz]

Best way to know it is more than a hook-up is don't hook-up! Lol

[livingjoke]

It gives me hope to see so many self-respecting women in the comment section talking about the importance of dedicated relationships over one-night stands. As a man with serious life ambitions, it can feel hopeless living in this senseless hook-up culture where people are praised for how many people they've randomly slept with.

[gwenUTUBE]

Also with chemistry- those kisses. You can just tell with your partner’s taste, nothing maniacal where you want to tear each other’s clothes. Just pure, sweet kisses that leave you wanting for more. Naturally something else would follow, but there’s no pressure.

[sethv.]

The difference between a friend and a boyfriend is physical attraction.

[raquelm]

I'm in love with this guy. All he says. All he is!!!

[Medietos]

He said physical CHEMISTRY and deeper CONNECTION. Let's learn, mind and use the correct terms to spread awareness, not mess.

[justacoginthefkery]

Personally, I can't be physically intimate with someone I don't have a connection or some type of chemistry with. Not anymore at least. Random hookups & strictly-dickly, no matter how good looking, have always felt insanely bland, boring & totally hollow compared to sex with someone whom I share that little extra with. Guaranteed, I can handle my own in mere moments & move on with my life, zero nonsense attached. So either give me the intimate, passionate, rolling around, no-surface-is-safe, naked-snuggle goods or keep those filthy paws off my lacy drawers. Hookups or giving it up early usually aren't worth the time or effort.

[sophieallan]

Oh my god, matt solved it for me in his first sentence, chemistry isnt the same as deep attraction. Ive been pining over someone i had chemistry with, but there was no deep attraction.

[pintahengitys]

Hey Matthew! Hope you’ve had lovely day, your videos are amazing ✨ So I know there’s like million chance that you’ll answer to this, so I’ll try to pray my best that you do 🙏🏽 I’ve got an idea for you to talk about, which I’d believe helps your audience also. Let’s begin with a story:

I’m 25 years old, loving life, having lots of love around me and just, feeling happy often. There’s just one thing: I don’t feel like I could ever find someone to be in a relationship with me. Why?

I’ve got chronic illness, been sick like 3-4 years now. I got diagnose 1 year ago, and since then, I haven’t been dating almost at all. My illness is invisible (which means I hear more than often “you can’t be sick you look like that”), but it’s affecting my life a lot, also with dating. Many men are SUPER interested about me, hear about my illness and run. This has, obviously, affected my confidence, no matter how many videos I see about how it’s a blessing they run away. Your videos always make me feel a little bit better when you say it’s good that they run, yet it still hurts. They run because I’m ill. I can’t change that.

I’ve given up some of my dreams, doctors have told that most of the career paths are impossible for me, I might be in bed for days because of migraine, fever, nausea, fatigue.. let’s say I have “normal” days, but then again I’m sick OFTEN. I cant lie, this affects my life a lot. Yet, my mind has never been this happy, because I’ve seen life isn’t something to take for granted. You can walk? That’s awesome. You can go to work AND then gym?? That’s a miracle. So in my life, I’ve realized that little things in life make it worth living.

Before I got chronically ill I was going to fitness competition. Lets be Honest: whoever i wanted, I got. Dating was easy, being confident was easy. My life was (what seems now to be a miracle) partying, swimming, dancing, working out, traveling. I could work 10hour workdays and now 4hour gives me burn out. I was worse at being human though, I probably couldn’t say anything to someone who’s sick and lost things in life, because I had it all & was just busy enjoying it. So I can see this illness has changed me to be better. (Btw - seeing your video I realized I had built my life and myself with me being able to exercise/be fit/be human DOING, not human BEING. I had this one thing, one leg under the table, and when it wasn’t there anymore, it all crashed)

My point is, it’s easy to be confident when everything is going great and life is smiling. I’m not feeling confident at all nowadays WITH men. I don’t even feel like no one could handle this (let’s be honest again, dating is hard for many, and it’s even harder when you’ve got chronic illness and multiple more diagnosis).

I don’t know
When to tell men about my condition?
What is the right way?
When to let them see me at my worst (I don’t mean mentally, because no illness gives you right to be rude etc, I mean physically)
How to even talk about this, when my instinct is to hide it? (Most guys ghost me when they hear my situation)
How to love myself, deep in my core, with illness that’s taken so much?

I would really really appreciate if you would make video about how and when to talk the HARD STUFF in dating. Many of us have these, some have physical illness like me, some mental, some both, let’s be honest, but the dating material seems always to be for “healthy” people, and I get it. Still, we, who have conditions that change our lives no matter what we think, how positive we are and how much we pray, need also help.

I realize these are the cards I’ve been given. So I’m doing everything in my power to help others. This diagnose I have comes with a stigma, so I’m trying to help people with it, I speak about this publicly, been in newspapers, heard people coming at me saying “thank you, without you I would never speak about this with my friends/got diagnose at all”, so I’m kinda happy. I help people, I do support calls, I made Instagram just for me talking about this illness & life, I’m trying to do the best with the cards I have and make me and life a little bit better and more kind.

How to tell about a day, when I’m laying in my bed, sick, when it’s midday, sun is shining, birds are singing, children are laughing, and I can’t get out because I’m so sick? How to even begin to love myself at that day?

Love from Finland, Lapland, from pintahengitys (Instagram)

[kammerkaan]

ill give Matthew Hussey some emotional connection!

[dsjhutch]

Just recently in this situation with a friend who only wants to hookup and not looking for a relationship, but I really like her alot, and have had a crush on her for years. And I guess I felt happy on the moment that she decided she wanted to just be fwb but at the same time I really want to date her

[emily_rose_elyse]

Oh god, these comments are not the vibe lol. It’s not the woman’s responsibility to remove sex from the equation in order for someone to actually try getting to know them/see them as valuable. That’s just further justifying men going after whatever they want WHEN they want but women have to play games in order to avoid being mistreated. (Not saying that’s what Matthew means but some comments definitely are) bottom line…if a guy is so mentally controlled by his physical urges that he can’t even go out on a date and give each woman an equal chance regardless of if she sleeps with him or not, he is either not worth your time due to 1) being brain dead and totally immature or 2) having a serious double standard probably due to how he grew up. Even then, sometimes things don’t work out ladies, that doesn’t mean you should become afraid of sex while men do whatever they want. Some of these comments def want you to give up and adapt that mindset. The only source you should be listening to is your instincts and your body with what you want.

[BarbieRachelEvans]

Just what I needed to hear and learn. Thank you Matthew

[littleliger]

What about the people who are super nice and just help because for them it’s what is right

[GYALdemFAYA]

Hi Matthew, I hope you'll read my comment and maybe even make a video about this particular topic. I've watched so many of your videos and they've been very helpful as I recently had a break up. This is my case: I've been dating this guy for almost 4 years who turned out to be a man child. I was so blinded to that because in my 28 years I've never experienced such thing. He pushed to make our relationship public fairly early, since I was sceptical. He's two years younger than me. We were both still studying at that time. He dropped out and remained unemployed for two years straight. I thought he was having a burn out and didn't push him until I had enough after two years. I would say he loved me deeply and I still believe he's a good hearted person even though one of the reasons why we split is because he started having contact with a girl from his past again. Who, according to him "might have answers two some questions he had concerning his life, because they're like minded" after I've had enough and broke up, he seemed to be finally free to pursue a closer relationship (friendship according to him) with her. Fair enough I guess. But I've been devasted because I invested so much, more then I should have and I know that now. He also had an incestuous relationship with his mom, she was all over our relationship and didn't want to let go of him.

I know you might ask why I'm still holding on, I'm not. I'm just puzzled. I know he's genuine and I know so was his love for me, most of the things I critized he agreed with and knew weren't good but he struggled to make changes. He was full of guilt and felt like a failure. I helped him out in many ways, tried to help him getting his driving license for example but he never went and the money I invested was gone. That's one out of many things. The lack of drive was unheard of. My family tried to support him too but getting him a job etc. We all think he has great potential. He's been very cold to me and seems to have moved on fairly easy. I was in the hospital because of an heart issue and he avoided me even then. I just don't understand what is going on with him. I know he's not a bad person and I probably should be angry with him because of the promises he broke but I just can't. He's a good hearted person even if he failed to show that to me by deeds. I just wonder if he'll ever know how much I believed in him and was willing to help him succeed. I know I ended up nagging too much, but I would've felt like I betrayed myself if I enabled him in all that.

[CrystalDatingCoach]

Stop having SEX until your in a RELATIONSHIP! Dating doesn't include SEX!