The Most Selfish Thing You Can Do In a Relationship - Simon Sinek

In this YouTube short Simon Sinek delves into the idea that partnering up and not allowing your significant other to be there for you can be incredibly selfish. As social creatures, we have a deep-rooted desire to take care of those we love, and denying them the opportunity to support us can be a disservice to both parties.
He touches on the incredible joy that comes from being able to sit in the mud with someone, to share in their struggles and victories. This shared struggle can release oxytocin, the chemical that gives us feelings of love, connection, and trust.

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[Mikyda]

I've been told no one wants to listen about my bad days. That hurts more than the bad days themselves. 😢

[xueueux]

As a woman, I will tell you. If you indeed know she has a bad day, but she didn't tell. That means there are lots of emotional that she can't express. The solution is hug her, no kisses, no sexual activities, just hug her. Within a second, she will be in tears and all the walls will be broken. Once she channels all of her emotion, then she can talk.

[YoUtUbEhAnDlEsArEgReAt]

Some individuals are suffering from childhood trauma that they may not be aware of. Not showing negativity is either what kept them safe from further abuse, or the only way that they could receive the love they needed.

[Kici-dytj]

Unfortunately many people say they want to be there for you, then complain about how much energy your negativity takes from them if you answer anything but positive. You never know how people are going to react and that can be scary. I Definitely wouldn’t call that selfish.

[shannonlipio]

First they need to feel safe/secure in order to share and be vulnerable.

[ashfaqmalik_]

The only selfish thing here, is thinking that it's about you! 🤦🏻‍♂️ People share their chaos with you when they think you can contain it. Be there for her, support her and make her feel comfortable. She'll open up as and when she feels like.

[genaknight]

my experience is that most people don't really care, they're just asking as a social given formality. They don't really want to hear or know. All I ever say is I'm ok and leave it at that, and they can feel free to move on.

[Person]

As a woman, I really needed to hear this. I’m definitely the unproblematic girlfriend and friend actually. It’s a painful and lonely existence. But the truth is NO ONE has ever really been there emotionally for me. I’m the strong one and when I’m weak I’ve learned to isolate so that I’m not problematic to anyone.

[mandiroberts]

Clearly she was dealing with a lot of childhood trauma, which meant she was always used to dealing with things herself because she's learned she didn't have anyone to support her. I've been in her position - and still am.
Don't condemn her for something she can't help.

[ausi]

That brave face is what we need more, these days we are surrounded by complainers. The most selfish thing is that they complain you for not complaining.

[danielapolo]

I know what you mean but there are people like me who suffered from Narcs abuse and people who would trash talk after you opened your heart. Even the slightest information can be used against you and destroy you. That’s the reason why I never want to talk about myself although society expects me to. It’s not that I don’t want to but I am triggered and afraid. Even talking about myself or my family everything feels scary

[margaridafernandes]

When someone had to be brave on early childhood, it is difficult to be vulneráble.

[debraperry]

Once, a friend asked me how I was. I asked if he wanted the truth or the socially acceptable answer. He said, the socially acceptable answer.

[SonaliSawle-uwtl]

Sometimes if you share your bad days that bad turn into worst and that is more hurting...that girl was not selfish but didn't want to make you feel upset.

[shannonmaire]

Some people have been ridiculed for showing any emotion. So they default to being "happy". They will open up when they become more comfortable with you. You can't expect people to trust you with their feelings right away.

[addie]

Good people will listen & help. Some people will kick you down and harder if you are not appearing happy.

[taylorsessions]

If he thinks that's the most selfish thing you can do... Man. He's gotten off so easy

[egidiar.]

The main purpose of a relationship is to be there for each other and to share ups and downs of life.

[Eheh]

This works with emotionally mature and intelligent men only I've learned. I could be in tears and my SO has no words or wants to kmhear my pain. Definitely makes you feel even worse.

[evolvingwithdikshya]

Because sometimes you don't get any support or comfort from your partner even after letting them known of your rough times