I Have 3 Failed Marriages and the 4th Is in Trouble

Show Notes:
On today’s episode, we hear about:
• A wife who wants to identify the reason behind her behavior in relationships
• A mom who doesn’t like her daughter’s boyfriend
• A young woman who lets her mother’s opinion influence the choices she makes

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[javierhuizar]

For the second caller, I'd love to hear the daughter call in to get her side.

[DownHomeDavis]

This mom doesn’t realize SHE is the one isolating her daughter from her family not the boyfriend

[ncdougherty]

This Mom (middle caller) is out of her mind. Leave your children alone and let them navigate their own relationships.

[texasdazzlers]

Heather, I was your daughter. I’m now 37 and can hardly have any relationship with my mom at all, nor do any of my siblings. She thinks it’s her duty to be overbearing and give unsolicited advice that’s totally inappropriate, and if you don’t like it, then “maybe you’ll appreciate me when I’m dead.” If you share anything even slightly vulnerable with her, it can and will be used against you. Our relationship is now mostly a texting basis where I lead her to believe “everything is fine” because she cannot handle reality. Is this what you want?

[pierre]

That mom is so controlling it’s scary! If my In laws knew about my sexual behaviors without me telling them. I would not want to be around them, period! “She mistakenly read her daughter’s journal” ? Bye!!

[audjusushi]

Mom #2 is horribly misguided. She couldn't be making her daughter cling harder to this guy if she were walking her through the streets doing the shame scene from Game of Thrones.
When your kids are adults you don't get a vote in who they end up dating. You only get to be supportive and patient when they date someone unsavory to you.
That way when they inevitably break up you're waiting right there to pick them up.
But if you're speculating and spying and judging then that makes them double down on the bad relationship because WHERE ELSE are they gonna go?

[BlackRose]

If that second lady was my mom, I would never speak to her again. talk about an invasion of privacy, space, and human respect.

[jessm]

Heather is like my mother. She has all the opinions, based on very little, never liked any man I dated, then cried when I didn't come over with them. Now she cries when I'm "secretive" about my personal life, and we aren't close. Can't have it both ways, Heather.

[anonymouse]

Heather is from Utah. They used to have billboards next to the highway there saying that looking at porn, even once, makes you a full-blown addict. So who knows how bad this guys “addiction” actually is.
She’s saying all the right things, like “we’re hands off and we let them make their own decisions, ” but she’s acting like a typical religious control-freak. She’s still treating her kids (or at least her daughter) like children, of course they don’t want her input on adult issues, or even involved in their adult lives. I see the daughter going no-contact in the near future, especially if the bf’s family is more welcoming and supportive

[Worldtraveler]

I know she’s her mother, so I don’t mean for this to come across as harsh, but it’s ironic that she called her boyfriend needy when she’s crying about her daughter not being around as much.

She sounds like she has a very rigid picture of what family looks like and selfishly enforces it on her family. Her daughter running away with a boy is the least surprising outcome of this.

[lukehardin]

Man, just my perspective, but the fact that the 22 year old boyfriend is actively struggling against his porn addiction and being open and honest with his girlfriend is a positive green flag. Porn is a horrible thing to be in a grip of, and you really do need connection to help get yourself out of it. He’s being responsible and mature.

[brianamariamcginley-downey]

It was completely inappropriate to read your childs diary. I was in a relationship like this, and my mother was completely overbearing. It pushed me further from her, and closer to my toxic relationship. We eventually did break up.

[Ray_LaFleur]

"We're technically empty-nesters, but three of them are living at home.."

Reading her journal, putting her laundry away.

This lady is toasted.

[julianjacobs]

“Pull out that piece of paper with their name on it and say ‘I’m going to blow up this relationship for you’” … wow. Powerful. Thanks John. 🙏🏽

[michellelee]

The daughter spends 90% of her time at his house to get away from her mom. I wouldn’t want to be around that lady. Reading her daughter’s journal is just awful.

[ThisIsIt-fw]

My mother was a lot like the second caller when I was a young lady. What I can say is that the more you critique her relationship and pry for information, the more she will gravitate toward him. This is a controlling mother who is upset that her daughter is slipping away, and feels like she’s in competition with him. Not healthy.

[TimeMachineTCG]

I hope that mother seeks treatment. My wife and I dealt with the same thing and these mothers are extremely mentally unwell and usually abandoned emotionally by their husbands. Too much control over adult children.

[lyndsianna]

He's so patient with that second caller. I was rolling my eyes so fast!

[crazeekids]

The mom is to invested in this situation and sounds like a control freak!!!

[Westernkoala]

Kinda feels like mom IS the problem... She is holding on so hard her daughter is pulling away.