Why 30 is not the new 20 | Meg Jay

Clinical psychologist Meg Jay has a bold message for twentysomethings: Contrary to popular belief, your 20s are not a throwaway decade. In this provocative talk, Jay says that just because marriage, work and kids are happening later in life, doesn't mean you can't start planning now. She gives 3 pieces of advice for how twentysomethings can re-claim adulthood in the defining decade of their lives.

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[sixuangong]

I watched this when I was 23, now I am 29, looking at this again and shocked by how much this helped me to be more purposeful with my life. Thank you.

[MesRevesEnRose]

Imo her message isn't to get married, have a career and kids by your 30s... It's simply to stop wasting time on things and people that bring you no value just because you are young.

[elijahlymus]

The best advice I’ve heard is “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday” and “Act as if you are watching yourself” OH AND ALSO “Treat yourself like someone your responsible for taking care of”

[JMPschool]

If people didn't feel like 30 was some kind of deadline, they wouldn't "waste" time in their 20s with a bad case of analysis paralysis, under pressure to "savor your youth" & avoid responsibility as if your life is over at 30. It is feeling like you can never have fun again after that AND like every decision you make determines the rest of your life at the same time. Whether you spent your time frivolously, or working way too hard, you still feel like you did it wrong but that's not true. As long as you're alive you're not finished. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

[jimmybaggs]

I was a drug addict with a criminal record by the time I was in my early 20's.

I sobered up and began to change my life at the age of 25. I worked as a welder as I could earn a living wage while having a criminal record.  At 29 I received a pardon from my conviction. 

I am now 35 years old and work as a Paramedic.  

I made more than a few mistakes in my youth, but that experience makes me good at what I do now.  With due respect, Meg Jay speaks as someone without that experience.  

Anyone can have power and control in their lives if they are willing to face hard truths. 

[kansasgoldilocks]

I didn't waste my 20s, but I'm still 37 and unmarried. Not everyone has the same life path, and that's OK. A few years ago I was at a wedding, lamenting the fact that I was 35 and unmarried and feeling the pressure. Then one of the bridesmaids opened up to me. "Well at least you're not 32 and divorced twice like me." And she was a counselor. Totally, totally made me rethink the way I was looking at things. Do the best you can at any age is my point, and don't always assume the grass is greener on the other side.

[bhapampa]

"Be intentional with love as you are with work." I felt that one. 12:43

[IsabellaS]

As a 20 year old young adult. This will be replayed every year on my birthday until I turn 30. I’m so glad I saw this video now and not later❤

[kellicaaren]

I believe that this talk is good for those in their 20's, but what she didn't go into was that you can have the "perfect plan, " have the "right friends, " and the "right job" and LIFE can still happen. One of the biggest misconceptions not just here but in a lot of motivational talks is that if you do everything right, you'll get from A to B smoothly. No, life happens. You can get sick and have to move back home and after you recover, your parents get sick and die. Yes, please plan your hearts out and do all that you can under your control, but if something comes up and you have absolutely no control over it, please don't freak out and think that you did something wrong. You did not. It's just "life" showing up on your doorstep.

[minutecarnivore]

Simple advice: Stop playing the comparison game. Stop yielding to the world's standards and continuously changing agendas. Prioritize what really matters to YOU and you alone. Do what makes you happy. Own your decisions.

[danielrazulay]

I literally lost everything at one point, including my mind. Now I'm 35, I'm back and ready to go. Age doesn't matter, if you start doing now.

[EarthenDemon]

I'm 27 and I don't feel like my life has even started yet.

[eleanorayebare]

30, 20, or 40 doesn't really matter.
You have now, its a good place to start. Crying about the years spent already doesn't help. Realising that you can change course now is everything. Life happens to all of us.

[MegaDanield]

I wish I could meet this woman. I watched this talk about a year ago now, when my life was in ruins, I had no job, no money, no direction, love or the ability to care. I was in tears when she spoke about Emma. Because I felt the exact same. But it inspired me to do all that I wanted to do in life. 1 year later I moved from a sad small town to Sydney, found an amazing job in community services, found a man that would do anything for me, brought a brand new car, watched my bank account grow, and started my degree in social sciences. And I did it all on my own.

Because of this tedtalk. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you!

[sugarmagnolia]

I'm 25 now listening to this. This TedTalk makes me reflect on how in my early 20s, I felt like I had ALL the time in the world - until one day I blinked my eyes and was suddenly 25. Ultimately I'm really grateful for how the first half of this decade has played out...the good the bad and the ugly. I've made life long friends, traveled a ton, changed my career plans multiple times, now I'm in a great job and studying to pivot into something I like even more. But in these years I lost my mother and grandparents, struggled with drinking way too much, depression, struggled with my identity and mourned my difficult childhood. It has been a lot of healing, and there is so much beauty in that. And of course there is beauty in all the fun I've had too <3 I do fear a lot about running out of time, but I try to remember to trust God, trust the process and trust myself. Thank you for this powerful presentation.

[julesmbc]

...I'm 42 😳
And, after three grown kids, marriage, and now am getting to focus on career - my own life is just beginning in many ways!
No regrets at all, about the past, or what others may see as "mistakes".
Thanks to genetics maybe(?), I'm a young 42, have great relationships, am learning, and working on my MA degree; with more focus, and happiness, than I would've on my 20's!!! (With, or without children)
Don't give up 40 something's, it's what you make of it 🤗🥰

[Eric-tqvn]

My entire 20's has been dealing with disease and disabilities, don't have much to show for myself but I think anyone can find meaning in life even with the odds against you.

[brucegordon]

I was driving. Thought 30 was the new 20 and got fined.

[Mimi-egdx]

After I watched this video when I was twenties, I was so shocked that how much I wasted my time! But I reconstruct my future plan and deep thinking about the life. Now I turned 33, I have the career that I wanted to, I have the partner and family that I most love in the world.
Thank you amazing message, Meg 🙏

[alexgreen]

My mom always said "don't waste time, don't waste time". So I ended up planning for career early, getting married early, retiring early. Now that I look back, I'm so grateful to her.

PS, and she was right. Her life was unexpectedly short. Maybe on some level, she knew she didn't have a lot of time.