A Kafir walked into a mosque. This is what happened.

I learned a lot from my visit to the mosque. I'm still an apostate though..
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0:00 Introduction
1:39 Preparing for prayer
3:13 Prayer time
6:53 Comparison to my past
12:45 Comparison to my nearer past
14:46 Afterthoughts
19:59 In conclusion

[villageofwords]

10 000 likes ... Aladdin will go to mecca and do umrah.

[nasiha.]

I’ve always had mixed feelings about Salah when I was Muslim. Sometimes when I wasn’t in the headspace to pray, it felt like a chore that I had to complete out of obligation. It didn’t help that I would often feel extreme guilt for treating Salah like a chore. On other days, especially on Fridays, it was a lot more enjoyable because of the ritual of preparation (showering, wuduu, putting on a nice ‘abaya, etc) as well as the social aspect of praying (praying with Muslims in my community, seeing friends and classmates at the masjid, etc). And because Arabic isn’t my native language, listening to Qur’an recitation was always enjoyable, until reading the Tafsir and critically examining the Qur’an. Listening to Qur’an recitation will never be the way it was…

I’m still closeted and not in a safe place to be openly ex-Muslim, so I pray and go to the masjid against my will. I’ll definitely need some space from Islamic rituals to be able to go to a masjid voluntarily someday. For now, I’ll use your tip and treat prayer like a meditation, at least temporarily so I don’t lose my sanity lol

[joerdim]

Please don't go to Mecca. They might have you on a list.

[tiryaclearsong]

Ex-Christian but I thought I'd answer one of your questions anyways. I have attended Latin Mass before and I honestly found it mesmerizing. The priest spoke in a dramatic, flowing tone. The words were beautiful and even if a section droned on for awhile before we had to stand or kneel or do another action, it was like a weird meditation. I actually thought it was better than normal Mass in English. I have also heard it described as the priest seemingly casting magic spells which I think is pretty close to what I felt.

I also think you're touching on something interesting here. A lot of people who stay devout believers have some middle ground level of belief. A lot of people who leave religion were previously very passionate about it or never felt anything. I only left because too many bad things happened and my mom is a bit crazy. If I had grown up in a more normal family I would probably still be Christian. I liked the routine and the ritual, I hated the scrutiny and promise that everything I did would summon demons. It made mundane things like prayes horrifying for me. I went from being someone who considered becoming a nun to someone who practices an atheistic form of paganism to get in touch with my routine and ritual side. Most believers around me do the rituals because they want to do the right thing and believe in God because that was deeply ingrained in them. Religion isn't a big disruption to their lives really and it brings them some measure of peace. I always found that human element fascinating.

[rohab]

i really enjoyed your perspective on talking about "the human experience" rather than finding every single flaw. Im in the same position, i no longer need to convince myself. Its all about getting by, and trying to be at peace with everyone.

[GeoJesser]

I'm Jewish and haven't done much in the way of Jewish practice in several years, though I grew up attending synagogue weekly and at one time was heavily involved with a local community. Your description of the muscle memory of the movement and words of the prayers resonated with me. The few times I've attended services in the past few years, my body knew what to do even as I felt kind of silly because I didn't really believe in or care much about what I was saying. The ritualistic and community/communal aspect of prayer is powerful. Thank you for sharing your experience!

[zayd]

i really resonate with the constant state of anxiety that prayer and islam put me in. This Jumuah i went to the mosque, and the sheikh said something like "fear Allah and his wrath and ask forgiveness from him", and I actually audibly chuckled. I guess god is angry at his believers for things he created them to do with his knowledge.

[_newleaf]

I can relate to your experience on how peaceful it actually feels now to go to the Masjid. I recently had to attend a Jinazah prayer. In the past, it was a truly heartbreaking and traumatizing experience as you think of what this person may be dealing with once they're placed in the grave. I always felt people at islamic funerals cry for themselves as they think of similar fate that awaits them. They seem to cry out of fear for their loved ones more than their loss. It really is a cruel psychological state of being.

[sadib]

As an ex-Muslim who never bothered to look up the ex-Muslim community until I stumbled upon Apostate Prophet a few months ago, I must say I think your videos are much better. You make them for ex-Muslims to cope with the loss of their faith, while AP just makes videos for non-Muslims to justify their hatred of Islam.

[miovicdina]

" I don't have ADHD, I have AD4K..." Ahhahahaaa, fantastic.
Me, too, literally.
😂😭

[clarkbruce_exmuslim]

As a fellow ex-Muslim, I find 11:10 and 17:45 especially important to emphasize.

[sarakunb]

Great video! I haven't been to a mosque for years but would be a different experience as an ex-muslim for sure.

[fatimahfarhan]

i've been an exie for 4 years, but i've only just come across your videos.
your tonality and your words give me such peace and i feel safe while listening to your content.
you teach me tolerance and acceptance of other belief systems and their followers, while never invalidating my own.
as an exie in a 3rd world country, it's hardly ever that i feel safe and validated.

thank you for existing and thank you for taking the time to share such beautiful experiences and thoughts < 3

[OscarSommerbo]

I was never indoctrinated into any faith and in Sweden, religion is very private, and the practitioner chooses how much of it they want. But I recently at the tender age of 48 took in a Christian Sunday service for the first time, and it was intensely boring, and poorly attended. But I did notice that those in attendance did at least try to pay attention.

[thebioray]

you should walk to masjidl haram, they said if you are kafeer, you wouldnt see the kabbah😂

[Foxxx]

"He is an awesome guy" my religious Muslim friend said this about you after I sent him a link to your channel.

[latifahm.s]

Thank you for your effort man ! My mother used to take me to pray with her in Ramadan, I didn't have a choice it was a must. So, what kept me sane during those years of praying is my imagination. I would imagine things in details like the carpets color and shapes, the wooden design or something like imagining my life without praying. I used this time for meditation, day dreaming, and planning until I finally put my plans into actions and created a life for me without musts.

[mono]

@15:26, you summed it up nicely, "it is no different from following a flow of crowd ...."
Once I was in restaurant in Hamtramck (city adjacent to Detroit), while eating our afternoon meal, the owner came and asked us to leave because just then there was a blare of Adaan from the nearly was the last time I ever went to that place.

[meditationsafespace]

Really enjoyed hearing your perspective here, thanks for sharing!

[tamatebako_yt]

i really appreciate how clearly you communicate your thoughts and feelings. it's a talent, for sure, but also a skill that needs practice and self reflection. as someone who values clarity in order to understand people on a deeper level, it's so refreshing, and i could listen to you go on for hours. i barely have to interpret what you're saying because you just tell everything straightforwardly. thanks