What About Soft Cussing?

Ask Pastor John
Episode: 640

[josedopwell]

I want to encourage everyone who has a problem with a foul mouth: God through the power of the Holy Spirit can heal your tongue IF you earnestly desire Him to do so. When Isaiah saw the Lord in His glory he said, "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips AND I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips..." Isaiah knew he was in deep trouble for how he'd spent his life speaking. But by the grace and power of God his lips were purified and God used him to create the longest book of Old Testament prophecy. And that same grace and power are available to each of us because God shows no partiality with His children. He wants each of us to utter what's precious and not what's worthless and so be as His mouth (Jeremiah 15:9).

Let's start with the fear of God, which is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7). Exercising a healthy fear of God will lead us away from perverted speech (Proverbs 8:13). If we consider that God is omnipresent (everywhere at all times), we'll also consider if He'd approve of how we're speaking from moment to moment. Jesus warned that we'd be judged for every careless word we utter and that what comes out of mouths defiled us (Matthew 12:36-37 and 15:17-20, respectively). So the fear of God is our jumping off point.

Now we need to substitute God's word for what normally comes out of our mouths. Nature abhors a vacuum. So we can't just settle for biting through our tongues. I suggest memorizing scripture. In Psalm 119:11 David said, "I have laid up thy word in my heart, that I might not sin against thee." In verses 15-16 of the same chapter he says, "I will meditate on thy precepts, and fix my eyes on Thursday ways. I will delight in thy statutes; I WILL NOT FORGET THY WORD." Like a serious student who's determined to ace his final eternal exam, David promises to commit God's word to memory, to know it by heart. He does it not because he wants to be known as a moral person but to please God, his Heavenly Father. It's personal, like a child wanting his father to be proud of his report card. David is determined to have God's word on his mind. Twice he says "I WILL..." The more we lay up God's word in our hearts, the more likely we will be to refer to it in our decision making and to repeat it in various situations. What's in our hearts and minds WILL come out of our mouths. Jesus said so.

By the way, I know this works because without Jesus I'm an utterly foul-mouthed person. But by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, I haven't cursed in two years. And there are situations every day when my flesh badly wants to. But Jesus helps me to overcome and it becomes easier with each passing day.

If you really want to overcome a foul mouth, pray fervently and ask God, your Heavenly Father, to heal your tongue. Be like the woman in Luke 18 who kept pleading her cause until she was vindicated by the unrighteous judge. Out of His steadfast love, God wants His children to speak the language of His word. That's like music to His ears and it glorifies Him. Why would He deny our earnest request to heal our tongues?

[jesusiskingofmyheart]

Wow, this was so answered with Truth and wisdom! Thank you so much Pastor John! God bless you.

[joserosenbaum]

I love how the Word of God was brought to life here to bring light to this subject, very helpful!!! thank you!!! -Liz Rosenbaum

[FeatheredOwl]

Hard cursing or soft cursing, two sides of the same coin. It’s a two-fold issue, you still have the intent in your heart to speak unclean, and you lead others to destruction with your words.

[aaronowen]

I work in the local school district. When I first started my job it was rare for me to hear bad words. I knew the students talked that way but they controlled their tongue for the most part and I might would hear bad language a few times a year and after writing the student up wouldn't hear it any more. Now the schools ignore bad language. I don't even bother writing the kids up for hearing it any more because the schools will not do anything about it. We are told to "choose your battles" and the school looks at bad language as nothing to worry about. I said all this to say at one point in time if I heard the "F" word it was shocking almost like someone throwing cold water on me. However, now I hear it EVERY DAY multiple times a day and it's gotten to the point that a lot of the time, now it doesn't even register if I hear it. I am not happy with this but it is a fact of life. I have even caught my self using "soft cussing" without even thinking about it because it doesn't even seem like cussing any more. I feel terrible after I do it and don't want to but my life is now saturated in bad language.

[NovakaneWorldwide]

This is teaching!!!! Nice highlight of the Bible!!!

[TheDrummaBen]

Isn't one of John Pipers best talks where he rebukes prosperity gospel and says "America exports it to other countries. Were selling them a bunch of Crap and calling it gospel." I thought that to be a very appropriate and precise soft cuss word.

[themarkfunction]

Years ago I heard a man say that he wouldn't even use words like "gosh darn" or "dang it" because they are just acceptable ways of saying stronger cuss words. If the command of Scripture is that we shouldn't cuss, then we shouldn't do it even by proxy with a word that the world deems acceptable.

Wherever SKUBALA in Phil 3:8 might formally land on a scale of offensiveness to the original readers, it is clear from the tone of the passage and the emphasis of Paul's argument that it was the most disgusting, worthless, offensive thing he could think of in comparison with the "surpassing worth" of knowing Christ. He would have used the strongest word allowed by the Spirit to emphasize how utterly base all the things of his past were, in comparison. Perhaps it was strong like our "S- word" or perhaps it was a proxy word like dung/crap, but it any case it was intentional and for emphasis rather than, as Pr John said, to show how he is cool or world wise.

[joshuahankey]

Thank you pastor john for shedding some scripture based light on this question. I would like to ask, what is your opinion on using cussing in a way that is not unseemly, derogatory, or insulting. For example, using the s word as a noun or the f word for emphasis. Or, would you take the stance that there is NO situation that is appropriate. Going off this, how would you define purity of the mouth with something variable, that changes with the tides of culture, such as language. Even from my parents generation to my own, the definition and usage of certain cuss words has changed significantly so that their intended and understood meaning is entirely different than their origin. This among other questions of a similar types are challenging for me to handle, because they are socially defined instead of biblically described. Thanks!

[kahll]

Spend more time in the word, with Christ, serving him and others, in humility and from a good and pure heart, and then see which words you do and don't say.

[Hopeofsuns]

This is very difficult. We live in a culture where this language is common everyday talk. It is hard to focus on controlling this, when we have so many other things to focus on. We must listen to Holy Spirit instead of trying to do an impossible rules check list. I have been trying to stop for like 10 years, and it's not easy! I get better and worse it's a rollercoaster.

[charleswade]

Really useful, thanks for the insight!

[lauraunterweger]

You mentioned the word "crud". Well, I once talked to someone who said we shouldn't say "crud" because it's a euphemism for "Christ". But then again, I also heard that same person use the "n" word. I'll just leave this right here...

[vitanilange]

Was wondering about one thing what if you have poor memory, and people keeps asking you about things from your past trauma you went through but you can't remember everything clearly anymore is it not the wisest then to remain silent, and try to speak as little about it as possible, and what about older people with poor memory??

[MadiCarl]

I know I'm late to this, but I'm just curious. I curse but I never do it if it's not in jest. Like, I never curse to hurt or to make fun of someone else, only if I'm joking around. Like, if I'm talking about a movie or video game or something funny that just happened. Like, for example: "Oh my gosh dude that was so f****ing great!" I'm only really using it to punctuate statements, more often than not in a positive way. Is that still sinful?

[marialogan]

Just found this. Thank you. I recently wrote a comment on social media regarding forms of cussing coming out of pastors mouths. Of course I'm getting bombarded regarding my comment, asking the minister to find another word to use in stead of
"Crap". I'm starting to hear that word used in the pulpit alot lately. But I must say that it truly offends me to hear it especially from a prophets mouth or a pastors mouth. It ruins the message for me when they are at the same time a relating a message from the Lord.
Am I wrong to feel this way? When I hear the word "crap", I instantly get a visual of what it is and it totally turns me off. Do these ministers actually realize that by saying these words the visual that they implant on the listeners thoughts. 😢
I'm sad that this goes on. Makes me nit want to go to church, or even listen to sermons on social media, because of the foolish backlash "grow up" that I get back. Just for pointing out what offends. If they were speaking directly to Jesus would they use those words in their speech to Him?....🤦🏻‍♀️

[exaucemayunga]

It's all about context. I think it's okay to cuss in some situations to clearly express a feeling

[michaeldukes]

Your heart breaks over “shoot” and “crud”? 🙄

[alouise]

I cannot imagine, for the life of me, that not one person in the Bible, used a word synonymous to "crap". Come on. This is bordering on legalism. Are we to be Jesus Himself now?

[garrygull]

What about all unrightousness is sin? Who is perfect? No one not one