Do Not Punish Behavior You Wish To See Repeated

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[RenaldoRamai]

"You take that opportunity to punish her for her beauty" gosh what a painful statement.

[RubyMoon]

"I shaped myself into what you allowed" - urgh that hit me HARD. It's parents with their kids too don't forget!

[NomadGragg]

"I shaped myself into what you allowed" is deep af...

[loganfingers]

"Im humble enough to know i can be replaced, and confident enough to be certain my replacement is a downgrade"

[Liv]

That’s right. Don’t act confused later when there’s no desire to make an effort on appearance, and seemingly no confidence left. You killed it.

[ang]

Same thing can often be seen between parents and less social children/teens, where the parents just love to make a big deal out if it or even mock you when you choose to join them in the living room instead of hiding in your room


Edit: seeing so many people relate to this is quite sad, and it surely makes me think about this topic a lot more. it's frustrating that even if you try to force yourself against your sensitivities and actively participate in changing the dynamic, many parents will insist on judging you and perceiving you by the past, sometimes for many years after. My own parents prescribe qualities to me that I haven't shown in more than 10 years.. It's a matter of habit most of the time, no matter how frustrating it is to hear. Stay strong, do what you know is right, and don't make yourself weak for others.

[karenk]

My ex did that. For years. In the end he told me, "You're not cute anymore ... you're not worth it." What a shitbox.

[moleedaboi]

Exactly. I don't understand why some men want really attractive women (not just physically) but get really insecure when that person expresses their beauty. It's borderline insanity.

[ScientObject]

Parents also do similar things. They shut you down when you talk to them, but later wonder why you don't talk to them.

Edit : Obviously not all parents, but enough to make this a relatable experience.

[nicobones]

The fact that people say he's a sexist who's siding with men and trying to force women into "traditional roles" in a bad way just baffles me. So often he criticizes the behaviors of men and corrects them, directing them toward more constructive ways of thinking, living, and behaving. Men are drawn to him because he is critical of them in a way that's constructive rather than destructive.

[VioletRaya]

Yes, i had an ex that hardly complimented me but was quick to admire and compliment everyone elses beauty.

[Nothingmattersss]

THANK YOU. Everyone wants to date a trophy but no one wants to but in the work to keep the prize. Relatable

[LHLenny]

“I pretty much shaped myself into what you would allow.” Is something too many of us do way way way to often.

[AllisonChains]

This is why I love Jordan Peterson. He talks about ALL bad behavior equally. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. He just promotes treating each other with respect and being good to each other.

[leehalloway]

It is sad when one partner diminishes the other partner to feel better about themselves.

[ninjaassassinam]

So true! I went from confident and feeling attractive to always wearing grey and feeling terrible! Told to block and remove certain people and would be shamed on a train for example “you’re growing a moustache or you’re more hairy than Me” and it was always passed off as a “””joke”””” And when I did dress up it was always “ahhh trying to look good for other guys huh” I eventually stopped bothering, or if I mentioned someone gave me a compliment “only because they want to F you, I’m a man I know”. Or one that hurt the most “who tf do you think you are? Beyoncé? you’re not the last cookie in the tin” I could write a book I have that much content, 2 years later post him, happy thriving looking and feeling better than ever! Some men can really dampen your shine!

[kiwisaram]

Yeah, my wife always asked me what I thought of what she wanted to wear and I didn't care. It soon dawned on me that she cared and my attitude towards her was disrespectful.

[little_wonderer]

"You take that opportunity to punish her for her beauty" - I have experienced this and didn't know it was a thing. Dr. Peterson always articulates what I can't say myself, I love this man so much

[sarahlarsen]

Never shrink your beauty or energy for ANYONE.

[kelseythompson]

Before I was a happy playful girlfriend. I would always be affectionate and lighthearted. My boyfriend at the time would always punish me he would get mad or tell me to be serious. A few years into our relationship when we were discussing breaking up. (I ended it with him.) He said. "When we first got together you were always so playful and affectionate but now you're serious and never show affection.) I told him... "You made me that way... I felt I couldn't be myself around you and now I don't even know how to be that person anymore."