To Catch a Predator - Lorne Armstrong

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Fourteen years ago (September 17, 2007), Lorne Armstrong initiated the chat (The Holy Lornography) that would eventually lead to the birth of The Church of Cawd

Lorne Lynn Armstrong was a potential predator who appeared in the Bowling Green, Kentucky edition of To Catch A Predator. He is one of the most quoted and continuously covered predators in the TCaP community.

From:

Lorne began chatting with a girl he believed to be 13 years old named “Kayla”. In the beginning, he was warning her about the dangers of chatting with strangers on the internet, but as the days and chat went on, Lorne began to write more romantic messages to her, calling her his “precious little princess” and his “little babygirl”, and showing fiery jealousy whenever she talked to boys in her school. Lorne finally ended up showing naked cam pics of himself and talking about the sexual things he wanted to do with her. He even proposed to marry her, calling her “Mrs. Kayla Marie Armstrong”. Before arriving at the sting house, Lorne had contacted the decoy, hoping to score a night of sex with her, also mentioning he was coming over with a “present” (a cheap $5 bracelet) and a box of condoms. The online chat lasted over a month and spanned 407 pages (the end chatlog was as thick as a phonebook).

Lorne finally arrived at the stinghouse on his 37th birthday, he was very calm and happy when he met the decoy. Casey even felt relaxed while she was talking to him, since he was so friendly and inviting. After taking a seat on a butt warmer chair, he told Casey about what wanting a kiss from her to kick off the night.

Then, Chris Hansen dramatically entered the room and confronted Lorne. Hansen smugly took a seat on the opposite chair and spent the next ten minutes grilling him. He then read the chatlog and quoted many lines Lorne had sent the decoy ("Is Ms. Vagina thinking about Mr. Penis? What is she thinking?") Lorne visibly became more stressed and depressed as the conversation went on. He would try to blame his behavior on a catfishing relationship he had previous with a woman he knew as "Amanda James". Eventually, Hansen revealed that he was on the To Catch a Predator TV show, Lorne then let out a cry of defeat ("OH CAWD!") and was arrested shortly after he left the stinghouse. During his police interview, despite knowing he had incriminating evidence in his truck and on his computer, he gave the police consent to seize both. Only after being showed his nude cam shots did he request a lawyer, but it was too late. Police were interviewing Travis Fowler in a nearby room and after his interview, the detective in charge of the Armstrong interview comes in and proclaims “He’s toast” to the other detective. Lorne would end up being charged with interstate travel with the intent of sex with a minor, attempted sexual contact with a minor, and attempt to produce child pornography (police recovered a camera from his truck). On the advice of his attorney, he took a plea deal. He was sentenced to seven years, of which he served five and was given lifetime probation and RSO status. Afterwards, he returned to his home state of Maine.

Attempted YouTuber
In 2017, Lorne, believing himself to be a celebrity due to the attention he received from his appearance on Dateline, tried to cash in on his fame (or infamy) by starting a YouTube channel where he would sing, do workouts, cook vegan dishes and try to sell paraphernalia from before and during his prison stay. These videos would be massively downvoted and many of the comments would be things he said in his 407 page chatlog though he wouldn’t recognize they were his words thrown back at him. He tried to sell a shirt (for $40) of a still of him from TCaP with the phrase, “Don’t yell. I’m sensitive!”, which is a rephrase of his infamous “Well! Yell at me why doncha?!”. The legality of selling such a shirt was suspect at best considering he was using an image from the show which would not only be a copyright issue, but a possible violation of the “Son of Sam Law” which prohibits criminals from making money from their crimes. That being said, he only sold one shirt, and he never shipped it.
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Spending your life's most uncomfortable moment, in the world's most comfortable chair.

MrClassiness
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Chris: do you have any kids?
Lorne: no, unfortunately.

Everyone else: actually, fortunately*

curtBurt
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Lorne's facial expressions throughout the sting:
😃>🙂>😯>😔>😥>😭

crystalskylight
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If Chris had come in carrying a birthday cake with candles and balloons, I would never have stopped laughing.

Tassie
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It’s infinitely more funny once you realize Lorne had his feet reclined for the entire interview

timmaay
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I come back to this often. This dude ruined his entire life on his birthday and it was all filmed. Absolutely hilarious.

santaclaus
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You can see a guy go from giddy, over-the-moon-ecstatic, thinking all of his fantasies are about to come true, to bawling his eyes out humiliated after getting roasted by Chris Hansen for ten minutes and exposed as a child predator on national television before finally getting arrested.
This clip is a gem.

GhostOfArtBell
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This decoy is so smooth, the way she acted so natural, while keeping a safe distance from him. Executed perfectly.

مريمالمصري-تق
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Imagine giving birth to a child, only for him to do something like this exactly 37 years later.

toothclaw
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Him describing online weirdos and having Chris say "you're one of those weirdos" was comedy

jeffs
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Lorne never has to worry about being forgotten. We solemnly swear to keep this alive and well for as long as he breathes.

jancw
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Officers--Get on the ground
Lorne--"I haven't had a kiss yet. Can I have a kiss first?"

diegomaradona
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‘You’re one of those weirdos!’ Is still one of the greatest things Chris has ever said in the whole investigation 😂 it’s my fuckin favorite piece of dialogue he’s ever said 😂

ghhhp
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I love how right as he’s arrested Chris just walks off like the grim reaper 💀

preachersden
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No matter how bad you think life gets, at least you're not this guy

gilbesm
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I love how the seat LITERALLY heats up right before Chris comes out. Insanely perfect symbolism.

anthonymaslow
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"POLICE! GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!!"

"Weyull, yell at me, why don'tcha."

GarthTheDestroyer
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“Mrs. Kayla Marie Armstrong”

🤢 he was calling her by HIS last name, acting like they actually were married… disgusting! So glad this creep was humiliated

SikkaDee
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One of the Weirdest Chair Commercials I ever seen

LABoutaBagDoe
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“Oh here’s a good one” *reads the most embarrassing line* 😂😂

steve