This Will Restore Your Faith in Dating

I genuinely believe the dating landscape is one of the greatest crises our culture is facing, but this story gives me hope. Let’s talk about it.

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[dkarukas]

As an "older" guy, I think that young men and women haven't hung out in groups. No youth group picnics, no group water park events, no co-ed church softball leagues, no mixed groups tubing down the river, no casual hanging out at all. I just heard about a young 20something woman wanting to break up with her new boyfriend because he likes action movies and sports. Does she know what a guy is?

[OBieWolfMan-vg]

Im 6'4, fit, Navy veteran, huge mustache and beard... Let me tell you, nobody talks to me, for any reason I just walk around smiling...😅

[Ieyena]

Getting offline with the best thing I did in college. A group of us girls realized we were never getting asked out and so we made a ladies dating group. Once a month we would ask out guys in our community that we knew and we set up a group date. It was usually four couples, we just went out and did something fun together. No one in that dating group ever married each other, however it showed the guys that we associated with that we were interested in a serious relationship. Eventually pretty much all of us found someone. It also helped us not feel hopeless. Being involved in a religious community really helped, because it gave us a starting point.

[elizabethshittu]

I love her response, she didn't try to play it cool. She was so excited for that coffee. Wishing them the best.

[PhilosophicallyAmerican]

I don't believe "be as attractive as the girl you are talking to" is strictly necessary. My wife is much better looking than myself. Honestly, being confident and funny is what got me by.

[Ziggle-kykv]

There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal

[glennvanosdale]

Watching Brett giggle and swoon is adorable

[kaijuking]

20 year old man here. The trouble for me is even getting a "spark". I haven't been on a date yet, and my teenage years are behind me. However, even though it's rough out here, I'll keep searching, and I encourage all of my fellow single people to keep looking. Love is out there for us!

[Pandamonium]

I'm 6 ft. I've dated men anywhere from 5'5 to 6'7. Height has never been a factor for me.

In April, I married the man I'll date the rest of my life. He's 5'10 and the best thing that ever happened to me.

[LindsayS_TX]

My now husband of almost 9 years noticed me at the gym for a couple weeks before getting up the nerve to “randomly walk up to me” and ask for my number 😅 he did have the tact to wait until I was finished and leaving, but needless to say, it worked out 🥰

[teddyadams]

Brett should make this type of video into a series. Something like "How to relearn dating in a screen filled world." Just like the first video on this topic, it’s very informative to see what works and how dating should be.

[eragongirl]

I’m 5’7”, late 20s, fit, conservative Christian, working as a teacher as I work on becoming an author. I love serving at my church, love my family and friends and “Lord of the Rings” and want to be a stay at home wife and mother. Praying for the gentleman God has for me. Just putting that out there into the world since I haven’t met him yet. ❤

[truthisland]

To the young men here: Build yourself up to the point where you feel comfortable not having someone in your life. Women are repelled by men who try too hard to impress them. Love yourself, be confident, and whether you end up in a relationship or single for the next ten years - you'll have built a life that works for you.

[mowfus]

Brett has a deep misunderstanding of how dificult dating for shiort guys is (obviously not her fault, she's an attractive woman, not a 5'7 man lol).
When I'm out with my short friends I'm always shocked at how disrespectful girls are to their faces. Some girls will straight up call them short, some will laugh, and others will just be generally disrespectful, even when the girls themselves are the shorter ones. But then those same girls will turn around and be kind and respectful to me just because I'm 6'1. The dating world is not equally dificult for everyone. I can't see this video giving short guys hope

[chriswbaty]

At this point, I think I speak for most of us when I say

Telling someone “it’ll come when you least expect it” is the without a doubt the worst piece of advice you can give someone. Some of us are legit lost and need guidance.

Gigachad doesn’t help.

[andrewjones]

I tell you when he said “you’ll be the main reason I’ll comeback” I screamed and kicked my foot lmao love it!

[FantasyLandNPC]

I'm 26, 6'3, 190lbs, have my own home, work full time, and my dating options where I live are awful, single mothers with 3+ baby daddies, married women cheating on their husbands (ofc they don't tell you up front) or your local college 304, I just stopped pursuing and will wait until I sell my house and move.

[bria]

ya'll I can't be the only one who noticed that Brett repeatedly made squeaky toy sounds

[shawn]

Let's actually break this down, Brett.

Every body is in the trenches. At 5:29, Brett says that she has a friend who is extremely tall and can walk into a place wearing nothing flattering, and yet, all eyes are on him. Yes, exactly. Hot + tall does equal automatic attention, and while that certainly does not mean that all the attention comes from women who are the best fit for this man, it does, by definition, mean that your friend has a 100% chance of meeting someone who is the best fit for him. If all women are automatically interested, then that includes the women he is also interested in.

By contrast, a man who receives zero looks even in a three piece suit, has a 0% chance of meeting a women who is right for him or wrong for him. We are not 'all in the trenches' together. Some of us, are in the trench that is also on a beach with suitors lining up to take a number, and some of us are in the trenches where the mortar shells are aimed. More on that later, but first.

So much chemistry you guys! Chemistry is another word for the subconscious autonomic responses we have toward hot people. Chemistry is not a magic force based on our midi-chlorian count, it is merely a way that humans explain their attraction calculation that is removed from our logical mind. It's just something we feel when the elephant tells the rider where to go - hot person, go - specifically.

They are indeed equally attractive, and Brett gives up the game here. Hot people getting together isn't special, she says. Average people with average people can have the same thing as these two beautiful people... but be warned men. If you are not attractive, you don't get this option with anyone who actually is attractive.

Average people do not find average people attractive. They definitely don't find ugly people attractive, and ugly people also, definitely, do not find ugly people attractive. By conceding that attraction is a league, you have defeated your entire argument, Brett.

"Leveling up" does not work because leveling up one's height is not possible, nor is leveling up one's facial symmetry possible. As Brett already conceded a minute before this comment, leagues exist based entirely on genetic luck.

One cannot simultaneously talk about leagues, and then talk about personality, as if that breaks the leagues. It is a contradiction.

Watch the initial interaction again. From literal jump, she was in to him. Not only would we know that from her body language, we have direct confirmation from her prep video.

It's not just his attractiveness! Indeed, but that is an AND statement, not an OR statement. This is where Brett shows herself to think like a woman. Well, actually, that was the whole video, but in this case, we see it on full display.

Overt versus covert competition is in the female nature, and part of that dichotomy is outwardly saying a true thing while leaving out an also true thing if that second true thing could lead to a competitive response.

Focus on all the things he did correctly BESIDES be hot, and ignore that all those things would be perceived as either neutral or just a 'nice man' if he were not hot. Which trench you are in matters. Dating is a series of AND gates, not OR gates. The first gate is the 'are you hot gate' and Brett accidentally concedes this gate with the league comment. Once you fail that gate, attractive women don't care about the rest because AND gates are exclusionary, not inclusionary. No matter what additional gates follow, it doesn't matter for most men because they can't get past the first one with genuinely attractive women.

Those men are left to their 'league' where the best case scenario is that they can convince a women who is also not attractive to settle for them out of pure desperation while they themselves settle out of desperation - which is a recipe for disaster half of the time, and a bitter struggle for normalcy in the home the other half.

[ZurlHammerdoom]

The thing about this is that they had a couple of connections to start with. They had a reason to talk. Starting the conversation is the hardest part. That is why pick up lines were invented. The best pick up lines are designed to pick up a conversation, not one liners to get a phone number.

Guys, if you want to increase your game, learn when and how to start a conversation.

Girls, if you want to increase your game, be open to conversations with people you don’t know. Don’t be recklessly trustful but do be open.