Two Reasons Why We're Still Single

There are two big reasons why many of us remain single far longer than we might like: we love ourselves far too little. Or we love ourselves far too much.

FURTHER READING

“The common-sense explanation for long-term singlehood directs the blame firmly outwards, it isolates the problem to one of mechanics: one is still single because one hasn’t, perhaps on account of having moved to a vast and anonymous new city, been invited to enough parties, or because the constant requirement to fly to the Singapore office leaves no time for the right sort of socializing, or because one is holed up in a remote village high in the mountains connected to the more densely populated lowlands only by an irregular bus service. These may be solid enough reasons, but when the problems persist over an extended period, their power to explain our situation weakens. Without anything remotely persecutory or unkind being intended by this, one is forced to cast around for psychological rather than procedural explanations. The problem must lie in our minds rather than in the world.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

David Crisp

[immasmiler]

2 Reasons:
1. They're not interested
2. I'm not interested

[plathrop]

I'm single because I'm attracted to people who are not attracted to me. Vice versa

[scottbonner]

I'm still single because I'm here watching youtube videos telling me how to live

[alexag]

I’m single because I’m focusing on healing past traumas and building a healthy relationship with myself before I try again.

[Blankiss]

Single doesnt always mean lonely, relationships doesn't always mean happy.
Must be an emotionally strong person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything just to say they have something.

[OmowunmiMimiAkinlagun]

I’m single because i’m insecure, overly emotional, dependant and have anxiety. I am the problem and I recognise that.

[TELEVISIBLE]

Single because I do not want to be with someone I do not love ! To find someone you love and who love you back is like winning the lottery

[HouseJunke]

You forgot the 3rd reason: Trauma from past relationships.

[KingOfTheBeyond]

Reason 1: I'm ugly fam.
Reason 2: I only go out to buy groceries and for work.

[WaffleAbuser]

I'm single because I don't understand what I'm supposed to do with people.

[Bepetoni]

I'm single because I'm shit at socializing.

[surayaiffah]

It's interesting how the School of Life just says we're single because of these two reasons, but the truth is bigger, just like everyone's comments here show. We may have trust issues, we may be physically unattractive/ugly, we may be poor, we may prefer solitude, or we may just prefer to look for ourselves before investing in a relationship because some of us actually CARE about having quality relationships, perhaps because we've seen relationships that lack quality i.e. from observing our parents etc.

[FriedEgg]

The 2 reasons I'm still single: I'm not aware that anyone is keen on me, and I can't find anyone I want a relationship with.

[Sigpod]

Reason one: your choice to stay single
Reason two: someone else's choice not to date you

[GodotOfficial]

I am single because you can’t get dumped if you’re not in a relationship

[chloec]

I haven’t dated since my first love. They messed me up that much. I hope all y’all get to experience love at least once in your lifetime, it is truly the best feeling I’ve ever known.

[theaxisofinsight]

Unfortunately, love is a two way thing: it's not enough to love, you have to be loved back. That's how you stop being single.

[pallikarazdansingh]

Sometimes people stay single to protect themselves from the pain and suffering that is brought by relationships and it gets miserable when our partner treats us terribly and only use us for their own purposes. Being betrayed by the person to whom you bare your soul open is the most devastating thing.Also moving on from painful memories surrounds you with sheer grief as love now a days is just confined to satisfying one's physical needs and people think of it not as an emotional bond so they dump their partners if they can't satisfy their materialistic needs because people are more concerned with outer beauty and not with the warmth of unconditional love .

[brentcrude]

Her: "Your single...why?
Me: *You're*

[Nadz]

1. I choose to be single until I meet someone extraordinary enough to make me want to be in a relationship again.
2. I’m ok with being single, I like myself and that is enough. I am the only guaranteed constant in my own life and so I will continue to be there for myself.
I was curious what this was going to say, I appreciate new insight into why I am the way I am but this didn’t feel accurate for myself. I can understand that it is because I am not looking for anything. It is good to be aware of these possible mindsets in the future though.