What is Stopping You From Marriage? Live Q and A

[THMStudycards]

Assalamualaikum brother Gabriel the content you are providing is top quality insha'Allah the shadow ban goes away as this is genuinely helpful

[lightningxx]

What puts me off is fear of ending up with someone whos negligent, cruel, unkind/harsh with speech or manner and/or a hypocrite. It becomes a partnership of enmity rather than love, and it scares me to put myself in that for life potentially

[spark]

only seeing your face makes me happy allah bless you bro

[malekragad]

Assalamu Alaykum, Tell me where and how to find a woman in Osnabrück Germany or a place in Europe so I can get married? There is no community, mosques do not help in this as it brings them more issues that they cannot solve as they say. Sometimes the Imams or the people responsible of the mosque feel offended when you ask them help and they get more jealous on the women praying in the mosque and they look down to your intention. As if it is haram. I somehow can understand that and relate, culturally, The best way to find a wife is to let the women do the arrangements. But unfortunately I got no women in my life to help me I am a A lonely Jordanian&Romanian man with no family and new to the city and have no family ties in Jordan.

Make Duaa for me, all lonely men and women that we be guided, fixed and blessed with the good things in Dunya and Akhira.

[TowardsTruth]

I’m not getting married because I am not an attractive person, my personality is a bit on the weird side, and I fear ending up with a total unhinged man.
I don’t know the basic skills that mother and family never decided to teach me.
I’ve graduated from school, but failing in college as I’ve found myself to be a non-functional / non-productive kind of maiden.

Additionally, I have a gaming addiction, with online Muslim sisters who I talk to every now and then, but I find relativity in non-Muslims more than the muslim sisters.

I am depressed and I feel lonely, because all that seems to be something I excel in is having a kind personality, and a care for the religion of god, but I have no aid and support to help me be strong.

I hear a lot about “not to marry because of sins” and “not to marry if you’ll (change) and become committed to the religion after marriage”

So what’s the point?
I’m not too feminine either, I lack in it, but I try to avoid being masculine. And I’m poor in many categories. And worst is that I’ve been this way since I was a teenager, since middle school, and high school.

Every girl took care of herself but I didn’t know how to make myself shine, besides, they’re only doing it because it’s sexually appealing. Why should I take those girls who aren’t being purposeful in their beauty as subjects to competition?

Well, either way, men want a woman who knows how to be a shepherd in her house, and one who cares forherself and knows how to look good and beautiful and appealing.

I won’t fulfill a man in that part.
Not even piety. Not heritage, not money.

I’m reaching mid-twenties, and I feel far too hopeless as everyone is studying and learning all kinds of things. But, I don’t feel like learning is necessary but I want to learn though hate the process as it takes a lot of time, and that time should’ve been in my school years instead of my mid twenties.

No body cared, still no body does.

My hairline’s receding from excess hair-fall from stress, and my mental health and body is down.

Why I can’t marry? Here’s my first three reasons.

I’m greatly sinful, I’m a failure, and I’m ugly!

I’ve grown a resentment towards all the sexual sisters who do zina by face, voice, and body(movement and touch) cause they never aid the sisters in need of them by confining the competitive atmosphere to marriage vetting only, they don’t care how men need help with desires too, and I resent any woman who shows beautifications in garment and body. And, I find no hope in finding a man who hates zina, and hates makeup, and admires naturality. It’s only those pious men who can become that, and I am not pious enough to marry a righteous man.

No one deserves someone like me.

I’m not ready, not prepared, and I hate it so much, and I fear getting married at the end of my femininity, 30’s-40’s. When I have no beauty at all.

Can you men and women stop saying we age like milk? It hurts me. It hurts me so much. Stop it. It’s ill mannered.

Atleast what I’ve learned, is that people treat you differently when you’re unattractive, and show more kindness to beautiful and open and happy and talkative women. Men would give them benefits because of that too, so at least, my unattractiveness is a filter to all the chaos I’ve avoided by his majesty’s will, what Allah سبحانه و تعالى has protected me from.

It disturbs me when people judge me purely basing their opinion on sexual prowess. I don’t receive any compliments on looks, just hardly anyway, and I’m not an object to satisfy desires. And only a few deserve it. Family, and a righteous husband.

[aksoA]

18:55 Mohammed PBUH if I’m not mistaken never actually got divorced, that shouldn’t take away the stigma! Allah made it halal and have it a whole chapter in the Quran but I just wanted to clarify that. I could be mistaken. Allah knows best.

[hefrazend]

I have knowledges about marriage and mental fortitude but now i'm in my financial journey..

[sarahnovella]

for me, men being so obsessed with controlling/obeying them is the reason lol
such a turn off
especially if they're not that smart but somehow all the important decisions is up to them. and your life also gonna be dependent on that said decisions.
imagine having to 'obey' someone like that 😂 nightmare lulz

cherry on the cake when they're emotionally immature and have anger issues which gonna make them abusive/borderline abusive. being obsess with the 'obey me' trope..
worstttt nightmare

[humptydumty]

Well we're should we start 1.shopping list too long. 2 no realistic on the real world thinking Muslim visions of Bill Gates will marry then. 3 thy not interested in a man that work in a minimum wages must have car Owen his owns house no renting. 4.can not cook lol. Lol the irony that my list😂

[Foralluhaterz]

As a young single man in the west, I dont see any benefits of marrying.
Rather I will work on myself and stay in the worship of Allah.
Remaining single away from stress snd headache is the best thing to be honest. Marriage is sunnah but the state of the ummah today, there's priority of marriage. What is wrong with being single and celibate?