Why Married Couples Must Be Open to Children

Do you have any “expectations” when you think about marriage?

A lot of us probably think of marriage as broadly the same thing: two people coming together in love to spend the rest of their lives together. But when we start to dive into the specifics of that idea, it’s important to recognize the difference between what the world expects from marriage and what God expects.

The Church teaches that in the case of sacramental marriage, it is asked and even expected of the couple that they be open to life throughout their marriage. This is why the priest performing the ceremony and leading marriage prep asks the couple if they are freely, fruitfully, fully, and faithfully entering the sacrament with their spouse.

Unfortunately, our world often tells us that marriage doesn’t need to be open to life. People will even sometimes say it’s selfish and reckless to bring children into a world that is so broken. But the truth of the matter is that a marriage can’t be sacramental without an openness to life, and that’s a big deal.

Now, what about couples who can’t have kids, or are past the age of childbearing? Those marriages are no less sacramental than the ones that have children, so long as they’re still open to the procreation of children. It’s the orientation towards procreation that’s important, not the achievement of it.

Bottom line is, sacramental marriage is a gift of self towards another, totally, fruitfully, fully, and faithfully. Without an openness to life and the procreation of children, this gift of self is not complete, and therefore it cannot be a sacrament of God. Openness to procreation is an essential part of God’s plan for romantic intimacy, regardless of what “expectations” the world may have for marriage.

[SkySilver]

Im about to get personal here so forgive me, but i've been struggling with this very topic for months now. the timing of this video seems like Devine intervention. I have 3 children with my husband, all 3 of them under 3 years old. I get so many thinly veiled rude comments like "you guys must not have a tv" or "wow I could never do all of that..." I struggle with the judgement I face from others despite how much I love my family. I want to be open to life and wouldn't mind having more kids eventually but even family thinks I'm crazy for not "being done" (yes we are financially stable as well.) I just don't know how to handle all of the negativity anymore.

[AngelGarcia-pjgx]

God bless everyone at Ascension Presents.

[Irisgomesjmjfaith]

Why don't priests preach this at Mass? Never in my life have I heard of these four elements needing to be present. I can think of so many "Catholic " marriages that aren't sacramental. 😕

[criticalbruv]

Marriage is a vocation of raising humans and allowing your wife and kids to divinise you. It's not meant to be about your satisfaction. But people treat it as such and when they do, their marriage and family is less love filled than if they didn't treat their wife and kids as sources of their own pleasure. This life is a devotion to Christ, to becoming Christ, to being Christ.

[crystalaaguilera]

Father Mike thank you for your awesome encouraging words. My husband and I just found out that we are expecting our 7th child! We are excited but nervous. Please pray for us?!

[jennifergallardo]

This is such a great talk, thank you Father. It enriches marriage even more when you understand it’s true purpose.

[katelynnnye]

Well done Father. I am preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage next year. Thanks for doing this video.

[babynoob]

Hi everyone. I haven't seen anyone comment on Natural Family Planning in the context of this video. Being open to life does not mean that you can't cooperate with the way God created us and use signs of fertility to achieve or avoid pregnancy. There are several methods and many great instructors ( I highly recommend an instructor to guide you through the learning curve!!) I've been married 18 years and have 1 son in Heaven and 4 I'm trying to get there... and each of those pregnancies was planned. There were times during those 18 years that we weren't ready for another baby and NFP allowed us to live our vocation according to God's plan and design.

[obnov]

“...loving like God, or it’s not a sacrament of God’s love.” Magnificent! Thank you, Father.

[fernandop]

*But Peter was married and apparently he had no children, and if he did, then he was a bad parent since he wasn't there for them.*
Also (1 Corinthians 7:1-2) says that marriage is also to prevent sexual depravity, he didn't mention anything about must have children.
We never used protection, but never tried to have children (outside of one time), and now is too late anyway. We are blessed the way we are living like that. I always pray that if I have to have children to send me a sign, but that never came, so I see a huge blessing in the way we are nowadays.

[jdee]

Fr. You hit straight to the core of the issue. Your speak with clarity and truth. With faithful priests like you the Church is in good hands.

[paigebelt]

Marriage is hard. Raising children is hard. Couples who give theses relationships to God and seek His guidance are immensely blessed.

[ginlydon]

From USCCB site: ”The Catholic Church continues to hold that marriage is, and can only ever be, the union of one man and one woman: a conjugal (total) union that is ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children.”

[Btn]

Married in March, now expecting in April. Wow, what God can do in such a short time.

[kathleenirish]

I was married in December ‘89. Baby in October ‘90. 🤗 four boys now, beyond joy the blessing is infinite
It is really sad to hear how much disdain for children there is.

[christinadenyse]

The union of marriage is a gift of all gifts..."The One" gift that creates the gift of children...

[joreyn]

My husband and I are expecting our first in a couple of months. I feel beyond blessed that the Lord is giving us this new little life to care for and raise.

[-gina]

Thank you so much Father Mike and Ascension Presents. God bless you.

[hannahs]

Having children has a chance of making people with mental health disorders spiral. There are so many reasons why people will not have children it’s not always ‘selfish’, and quite frankly there’s nothing wrong with being childfree for ‘selfish’ reasons anyway.

[carlosgranadillo]

When I read genesis 1 and 2 my understanding is that the first intention of marriage is companionship. God is complementing what is lacking since men are created tho His likeness, and God is already God the Father and God the Son and the Holy Spirit. So then as a natural result of that companionship, humanity is whole, as a tree that has both roots and branches. Then those trees which bare fruit will produce them. Those that do not bare are also Gods but he intended something different for those.
In any case, I love this channel although I have a different interpretation of scripture at times; and I wanna say that Father Mike is truly an inspiration for me. He helped me rediscover my faith and i am forever thankful for that. He is truly a conduit of Gods infinite love.