AMISH Woman 'Sinned' by Taking Her Brothers to Court for SA

**Content Warning: Frequent mentions of child SA & r*pe among other forms of abuse & suic*de ideation**

Mary Byler’s story is horrific and shocking, yet one of the reasons she is being so brave in sharing her story, is because it’s not uncommon. The Amish are often romanticized for their “plain” lifestyle, yet people don’t understand or know about the sheer terror facing the women and children of these communities. Extreme forms of purity culture combined with a no-questions-asked “always forgive and forget” policy and “under no circumstances get the police involved”, create a perpetrator’s paradise where SA is more common than not. It is time we break the silence and break the cycle.

Watch Mary's interview on Soft White Underbelly Here:

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00:00:00 Intro
00:03:09 Mary's bann, explained
00:05:58 The victim-blaming and shaming Mary experienced
00:08:07 A young girl must be covered even while sleeping as to not "incite her brother"
00:09:08 "The Sacred Subjects" booklet series introduced young boys to beast**lity
00:10:09 Is it common for Amish boys to SA animals?
00:13:57 Do Amish girls know what's happening when they get their periods?
00:15:14 Was how babies are made ever explained to Mary?
00:15:24 TW: Child SA and R*pe
00:20:05 What happens when someone admits to the crimes?
00:20:34 TW: Child SA, R*pe
00:22:50 The Amish promise never to tell Church business to anyone not Amish
00:23:37 The various excuses the church uses when a*use surfaces
00:24:35 TW: Child SA, R*pe
00:25:47 Where is the autonomy for women?
00:27:45 TW: Child SA, R*pe
00:27:54 The case of the 3 Amish Bishops and an a*used Amish wife
00:30:33 Skewed narratives & Amish "branding"
00:34:30 Hierarchies within settlements- Families of status
00:36:29 How communities respond to the death of a parent
00:37:24 TW: Child SA & R*pe
00:40:00 PTSD: The details of confronting, then prosecuting her brothers, step father and mother
00:45:08 She didn't exist on paper- Trying to adjust to the outside world
00:48:37 What gives Mary peace, now?
00:56:24 There's a higher risk for genetic disorders due to being Amish
00:59:50 She published a book!
01:02:34 Her advocacy and child safety work
01:04:26 Some of Mary's poetry
01:06:53 TW: R*pe- Her poetry towards her abusers & Linda, Listen

Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara

**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

[TheOfficialMarkCraig]

Mary is NOT a sinner. The Amish community are the ones who sinned against her. Never stop using your voice, Mary.

[buffystar]

If the way a child is WALKING is sexual, that says way more about their twisted mindset than I could ever think of

[GeneTheMeanBean]

I first learned about Mary through her interview with Soft White Underbelly. I felt so profoundly protective of her then and I still do. I am awestruck by Mary’s strength, courage and innate human beauty. I hope Mary has found people in her life who love her and treat her preciously.

[caitlankelly]

Her saying that she fell asleep on her dog for safety, really tore my heart out. If an animal knows that a little girl is worth protecting, why do her own family members need a weird book to remind them?

[TheGbelcher]

Open letter to YouTube and its moderators:

Abusers don’t use the word ‘abuse.’ Only the people holding them accountable use the word abuse.

Who are you actually protecting by flagging the word abuse?

Who is actually being silenced when the topic of abuse is suppressed?

[olympiaelda]

What is disgusting is that we as a society still tolerate this. "Its their culture"... "Its tradition"... "They have a right to their lifestyle"... Should they?

[Liber-Tea]

"Just because I escaped and I reached safety doesn't mean that this isn't still happening today to children."
We are with you, and our hearts hurt with you. ♥

[BellaFlayme]

I so wish Youtube wouldn't block out the "abuse" word. It's like silencing all over again. It also makes it hard to listen to. I saw this lady's amazing story on SWU and she is so amazing!!!

[KathyW]

Mary, don't ever apologize for speaking with so much emotion. That emotion is what tells your story. That emotion is part of you and yes, you are enough.

[theriffwriter]

It's long overdue that we differentiate freedom of religion from freedom to abuse. That old adage "your right to swing your arm ends right at the tip of my nose." That's the line. The moment your "rights" harm, even just potentially, they are void! It's one of the few things concerning religion that should be downright easy.

[Piggypilgram]

When she mentioned her dog being her safety I felt that to the core. My dog was my safety she stayed with me through the abuse. That bond is like nothing else ❤️

[snowdragon]

I came to this interview after seeing Mary on SWU. Her crocheting, dress and softspoken manner through difficult subject matter was made more compelling with the silence between her words. But her facial expressions told me there was so much more. This interview shows her in another dynamic light. All the best to Mary as she reveals her story. ❤

[sheryelverton]

She confronted at least 4 people that day in sheer terror wearing a wire? Omg..shes a SUPER HERO!! SENDING HUGS AND KISSES RIGHT NOW! Bravest thing I've ever heard.

[gingerturner]

I'm from Lancaster County, PA, and whenever I tell people that, I see their eyes light up and they ask me about the Amish (no. I was not Amish but I knew several of them). I have witnessed them doing horrible things to their kids and animals. I have made sure to tell anyone who asks me about them that they're not as great as people seem to think they are. It's sick.

[Sofia-qifw]

I love how emotional Marys dialogue was, you could feel the anger, the pain, the strength she cultivated throughout her life, she is fully present and that is so beautiful

[americangroupinternational]

I get it. I was abused by a pastor, and my ex pastor husband did nothing when I finally wanted to come forward. I left him and that community.

[sunnylilme]

To be honest. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to singlehandedly take on the patriarchy to a world I've never known ALONE. She is a big ball of courage. Her story is rare, eye-opening, empowering.

[Platypus]

They tried to shame her. They tried to blame her. they tried to intimidate her. They tried to make her disappear. And she didn't let it stop her. AMAZING WOMAN. In God's eyes you've exposed evil for all to see and now THEY will have to live with that. I'm sure there are Amish women tonight laying in their beds who are in awe of you, and who may be plotting their own escape from sexual abuse because of your brave example. Well done!

[Gjigfvniyf]

The willingness of this woman to show her vulnerability, and cry with rage at what has happened to her, has created the most powerful video from a cult survivor I’ve ever seen. This woman is so strong, I hope she knows she’s making an enormous difference by breaking the silence.

[crystalh]

I have seen Mary speak several times and every time I am blown away by her articulation and intelligence. Such a strong person. I have so much love for her.