Cartman's Diabolical Revenge Against Scott Tenorman - SOUTH PARK

Cartman serves Scott chili made of his parents' remains.
"Scott Tenorman Must Die" S05

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CARTMAN PUSHES HIS CHILI IN FRONT OF SCOTT. SCOTT IMMEDIATELY STARTS TO EAT IT.
SCOTT TENORMAN
Mmm, I don't know. Your chili is good Cartman, but I think mine is better. Try it.
CARTMAN
Alright...
CARTMAN PICKS UP A SPOON. EVERYONE WATCHES WITH ANTICIPATION.
SCOTT, MEANWHILE, CONTINUES TO EAT HIS CHILI.
CARTMAN FINALLY TAKES A BIG SCOOP OF THE CHILI, CHEWS IT, AND THEN SWALLOWS.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
Hey... THIS IS GREAT!!!
STAN AND KYLE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND COVER THEIR MOUTHS SO AS NOT TO LAUGH.
SCOTT TENORMAN
(Eating more of Cartman's)
It's a special recipe.
CARTMAN
(Scarfing it down)
God this is REALLY good Scott!
SCOTT TENORMAN
I'm glad you like it so much... Because now that you're almost finished, I have something to tell you...
CARTMAN
What? You mean about how you put pubes in your chili?
SUDDENLY SCOTT LOOKS SLAPPED. HIS SMILE DROPS AND HE FALLS BACK INTO HIS CHAIR.
STAN, KYLE AND ALL THE OTHER SPECTATORS LOOK SURPRISED TOO.
CROWD
Huh?/What?/etc.
SCOTT TENORMAN
What?
CARTMAN
Yes, I'm afraid this isn't your chili, Scott, I switched it with Chef's.
CARTMAN POINTS TO SCOTT TENORMAN'S POT OF CHILI LYING ON THE GROUND.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
It's delicious, Chef. I hadn't planned on that. What I DID plan on, however, was that my friends Stan and Kyle would betray me and warn you that the chili con carnival was a trap.
STAN AND KYLE LOOK AT EACH OTHER.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained Denkins' pony to bite off your wiener. What they DIDN'T TELL you was that Denkins is a crazy redneck who shoots trespassers on sight. Knowing that you would go and try to do something to the pony, I warned Mr. Denkins that violent pony killers were in the area. I also knew that you wouldn't go yourself for fear of having your wiener bitten off, you would most likely send your parents.
EXT. FARM - FENCED IN AREA - NIGHT
WE SEE SCOTT'S PARENTS WALK INTO THE FENCED IN AREA, AND WALK UP TO THE PONY.
CARTMAN (V.O.)
And I'm afraid that when Mr. Denkins spotted them on his property, he shot and killed them both.
SUDDENLY, THEY ARE RIDDLED FULL OF BULLETS.
EXT. CARTMAN'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
DENKINS IS IN THE CROWD.
DENKINS
They was trespassing and I was protecting myself! I have my rights!
SCOTT TENORMAN
My mom and dad are dead?
EXT. FARM - FENCED IN AREA - NIGHT
THE SAME FARM, BUT NOW POLICE TAPE, BARBRADY AND HIS CAR AND AN AMBULANCE ARE THERE. SO IS CARTMAN. SCOTT'S PARENTS LIE ON THE GROUND COVERED WITH WHITE SHEETS.
CARTMAN (V.O.)
I came just in time to see Mr. Denkins giving his report to Officer Barbrady... And of course, to steal the bodies...
AS DENKINS EXPLAINS HIMSELF TO BARBRADY, WE SEE CARTMAN DRAGGING THE BODIES OFF IN THE DISTANCE.
EXT. CARTMAN'S HOUSE - DAY
CARTMAN
After a night with a hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my chili con carnival, so that I could tell you personally about your parents demise. And of course, feed you your chili. Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili.
SCOTT LOOKS AT THE BOWL IN HORROR. HE DROPS THE SPOON, REELS BACK AND SPITS OUT WHAT HE CAN.
SCOTT TENORMAN
OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!
CARTMAN
Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya! I made you eat your par-ents! Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya!
STAN AND KYLE LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN DISBELIEF.
STAN
Jesus Christ, dude...
SCOTT TENORMAN
(Crying)
My mom and dad are dead?! No! Nooo!
IT IS AT THIS TERRIBLY INOPPORTUNE TIME THAT THE GUYS FROM RADIOHEAD WALK UP.
LEAD SINGER
Uh... Excuse me...
STAN
Who are you?
JONNY
We're that band Radiohead.
ED
Geez, what a little cry baby.
COLIN
You gonna cry all day, cry baby?
THOM
You know, everyone has problems. It doesn't mean you have to be a little cry baby about it.
ED
Come on, guys, let's go. This kid is totally not cool.
THOM
Yeah, that's the most uncool kid I've ever met.
PHIL
Little cry baby.
THE BAND WALKS AWAY.
SCOTT TENORMAN
No wait! WAIT!!!!
BUT THE BAND IS GONE. NOW SCOTT TOTALLY BREAKS DOWN, CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY.
SCOTT TENORMAN (CONT'D)
OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!
CARTMAN
YES!!! YYYYESSSS!!!!
CARTMAN LICKS SCOTT TENORMAN'S TEARS OFF THE TABLE.
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! Mmmm, your tears are so yummy and sweet.
KYLE
Dude... I think it might be best for us to never piss Cartman off again.
STAN
Good call.
CARTMAN IS NOW LICKING THE TEARS RIGHT OFF OF SCOTT'S FACE.
CARTMAN
Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mmmm! Yummy!!! Yummy, you guys!!! That's all folks.

[southpark]

Watch full episodes of South Park: cart.mn/episodes

[HBarnill]

“I think we should never piss Cartman off ever again”

And you guys still do.

[ThelxinoeArt]

Funny how even when he's about to casually reveal an extremely twisted and murderous revenge plan, Cartman still tells Chef that his chili is delicious.

[belal]

Not an exaggeration to say this is the best revenge plot in TV history.

[soulassassing]

0:39 Aww look how disappointed chef is. He put his heart and soul into that chili and was very exited to enter the contest so Cartman, and everyone else, could taste it.

[captainclaymoar]

Casual reminder that Cartman did all of this over $16.12

[SplinterAce]

"it's delicious chef I haven't planned on that" lmao

[robharris]

I like how even with his parents being dead, he is still worried that Radiohead won't think he is cool

[flightcrusader]

This clearly was the episode where everyone knew not to underestimate Cartman again. He maybe stupid and lazy but when he really puts his mind into something and is willing to accomplish it to the very end he’s actually an unstoppable genius

[examichelle]

Not only did Cartman plan on having Scott's parents killed and make him eat them, he also timed everything so Scott would look pathetic in front of his favorite band in the world.
Cartman completely destroyed him.

[Bart]

Cartman: Stupid enough to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes
Also Cartman: Clever enough to plot a master plan against him

[revelca]

*This is the moment we all realised how crazy he actually is*

[lessthanthreemetal]

"It's delicious Chef! I hadn't planned on that" is the most underrated line of the episode

[colinfrags]

“Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness, um yummy, yummy you guys.”
Cartman is the best character period.

[alice_kowalski]

Seasons 1-4: Cartman is just a slightly ill-mannered naive boy.
Seasons 5-23: Cartman is a cold-blooded and vengeful killer, who doesnt forgive jokes on himself

[ComicalRealm]

Bart Simpson: Eat my shorts
Eric Cartman: Eat your parents

[howardmctroy]

I watched this episode at college with my roommate Mike. I entered the college after five years at a community college, so I was five years older than my roommate. Unlike Mike, I was intimately familiar with classic South Park and knew how this episode ended.

When they arrived at the carnival, I asked him "Do you really not know how this ends?" His response was "Uh...He eats the chili with the pubes in it?" I then realized I was about to witness someone's first reaction to it.

[slyka]

I surely can’t be the only one who felt so sorry for chef when he says ‘it’s my special recipe’ and walks off all sad 🥺

[jamesthetsundere]

it always amazes me how he just openly admits to this and no one cares or tries to arrest him

[DarknessViper]

And I like how in Scott’s next appearance he’s crying over his parents’ grave and Cartman gives him a fruit basket as apologies